Why do loved ones hurt you?

Question

I have been with someone for almost 7 years and afraid that if I get hurt I wont be able to end the relationship?!?!

I forgot to mention that when I did try to end it, he tried to comit-suicide. He doesnt have anyone in the world apart from me, I dont know what to do I've been feeling this way for 2 years now. Thanks for all yor time. Hayley-May

Thanks everyone for taking the time to give me your much valued advise, sometimes you wish life was like a board game where you can just put it away and start a new one.:-$

Answer 1

I dont completely understand your question. If youre wanting to leave, then you need to leave. Quit making excuses and go.

He NEEDS help. If he tries to hurt himself again, its on him, NOT YOU. Dont feel guilty for something he decides to do to himself.

Hes doing that to hold onto you. He DOES know what hes doing.

Answer 2

Your question is far from clear.
Anyone can hurt you, intentionally or not. It feels worse if it is someone you love of course , but the bottom line is your own sensitivity . If you are thick skinned, it is more likely not to affect you in the same way.
You say you are afraid to get hurt and give it as the reason for not ending the relationship but you do not mention why you feel the need to do so. Are you being hurt mentally or physically? Is your partner totally insensitive and walking rough shod over your feelings? Is he taking you for granted, or betraying you with someone else? Is he always criticising you to your face or behind your back and undermining your self confidence? All this amounts to cruelty of one kind or another.
It always hurts to cut loose from a relationship. It is up to you to analyse what you are getting out of it and decide if the game is worth the candle.If you are being hurt now already, ending the relationship will not hurt more unless you mean that your partner is going to beat you up when you tell him you want out.

I now see the added comment you have made below your question. If you have been unhappy in the relationship for so long already, then it is time to be firm and call it a day. All this talk of suicide is moral blackmail. It sounds as if he deliberately has isolated himself and relies on you as a prop using his loneliness as an excuse.Leave him even if it is hard and you hate the idea of upsetting him. You only have one life. Bon courage!

Answer 3

We only hurt the ones we love. If you get hurt then get over it, it's a little rash but you have got to learn to learn from your mistakes, otherwise this sort of thing will happen again. And what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger and better, you will have more experience with the next and you will see the signs of a crumbling relationship.

Answer 4

Please be strong and end this relationship - this guy will bring you nothing but heartache. He's a user and a manipulator and if he really loved you he wouldn't do this to you. You can not be held responsible for his actions if you decide to end this relationship.You will have no happiness with this jerk - get rid of him just like my daughter did after 3 years with the control freak she went out with. They are losers...please be strong and move on to someone who will really apprecaite you - you deserve to be with someone who REALLY loves you. Take care..... all the best.

Answer 5

You've heard of the 7 year itch haven't you? OK so it only applies to marriage, but if you're still unsure after all this time, perhaps you two aren't right for each other. Are we talking physical pain or verbal abuse? Or normal everday life? Try counselling.

Answer 6

Loved ones hurt you because they are the only ones who can. People who you don't love can't hurt you because you are not emotionally attached. Don't worry about what might happen and enjoy this relationship. If you do get hurt then you will be able to move on, your head and your heart will enable it to happen, it just takes time.

Answer 7

if he has hurt u physically you should leave. u could leave him a note, but do not tell him where u r
i bet he is allergic to yeast, he should not eat yeast bread or drink beer, but give him olive leaf extract daily, (yeast can make people suicidal)
beef n coffee make men cranky,
pineapple juice, vitamin b and zinc (kelp tablets) helps to keep men in a good mood
he probably needs evening primrose oil with fish oil
or take him to a homeopath, they have a gr8 anti-suicidal remedy!!
or introduce him to other people or help him checkout singles sites

Answer 8

well dont worry about it unless they give u a reason to worry. if tht happens there is always forgiveness if u can find it in ur heart to forgive but if it to devastating thn ur choices r live with the pain or live a life tht goes on maybe to meet some 1 new and complete ur life with them by ur side. Jus kno tht always some one loves u and will never let u down whether in ur mind he loves u. the lord is always there and if u give ur life to him he will lead u in his will and in tht nothing can go wrong. ppl are human we make mistakes god fixes thm

Answer 9

first of all you started off wrong, sorry to say that but, as we all know we have to marry and that could be it,it's never to late,butmaybe marry and things will change or best yet, change and find another but marry first and i'am sure you'll have a better life,pray to find your soul mate, and GOD will send him your way, and yes all relationships have arguments but they work out so good luck and think about this and pray for you to get out of this relationship and for the right one to come your way, and never say you can't there's a will there's a way God bless and good luck

Answer 10

If you do get hurt, you have to learn to forgive and mature together, it can be hard at times not to be petty about certain things, but learning to mature together will make you stronger!