Why is my son so winey and screams so bad when he don't get his way?

Question

My son will be 3 next month. He doesn't take to change very well. When he doesn't get his way he as this horrible screaming tantrum. This lasts up to 40 minutes. What can I do to stop this?

Answer 1

It is possible that somewhere along the line you or someone else has given in to his tantrum and he learned to manipulate you by doing this. Dont ever give in.

I try not to say no to my kids unless it will hurt them in some way. They are not spoiled, I dont mean buying them things, but if they want to do something, go somewhere, or want something that I can give, I will try to do it for them.

When you say no the first time, take him in your arms hug him, and explain why one time. Do not cater to him or say "Because I said no" 20 more times. He heard you the first time obviously. If he throws a fit, just simply count "thats one" if he continues...immediately "thats two" if he persists... "thats 3 time out" take him in his room or a time out place, if away from home take him to the car and make him sit in his seat, etc. He will learn very quickly what this number thing is and stop by 2 .

Almost every one I hear that do this in public do it VERY slow, and go past 3....Do not pause and give him extra time. If your in a store, stop your cart and look him in the eye...."thats one" Let him know you mean business. If your still pushing a cart and not looking at him, he wont think your very serious.

Many people will tell you to ignore this...I have 5 kids I can ignore anything!!! LOL However dont let your child disrupt others in public. Remove him. Explain that you will not allow him to behave that way. A minute of time out for his age is appropriate, and at the end of that time, he needs to say he is sorry. Tell him you love him and give him some snuggles.

If you dont get this under control NOW, he will walk over you for a very long time, and you will not be a very happy person.

Firm and loving is the only way! Best wishes to you!

Answer 2

I know other people said stuff like this, but I just thought it might help to know that different people think the same thing. I have two children, ages 5 and 2. I've learned to say no, and mean no. Don't ever say they can't have something and then give it to them when they get mad, cry, scream, hit, etc. Simply walk away, let him scream and eventually he'll discover it does no good. He's testing his limits and his boundaries. It's his way of expressing his indepence. He has to know what he can away with and how far he can push you. It's all part of learning and growing up. Obviously don't let him hurt himself or others, but if I were you I'd do what we do. Take him to his room and tell him to stay there until he feels better and can act like he wants to calm down. More than likely he'll follow you out, but it will work when he's older for sure. There are some days where neither I or my husband wish to listen to our children whine and cry, so we send them to their room for peace and quiet. They end up playing, but at least their quiet.

Answer 3

the question here is, do you give in to him?? this is not abnormal by any means. what you need to do, is put him in his room and close the door, and tell him that he will be able to come out when he stops screaming. in the mean time turn on the radio, play it nice a loud. so that you don't hear him as much. sure open the door and check on him.then when his tantrum is over sit him down and tell him that what he is doing is not acceptable.and that you are not going to deal with any more. and you need to ask him to say he is sorry to you, for acting the way he did. and you need to do this each time not just some of the time, and don't allow him to get under your skin before sending him to his room. and you might find him in his room playing with something, that's fine, also a short time after this sit down and do something with him. maybe he is also screaming for your attention, but he needs to realize better ways of getting it and you need to realize when its time to give it.

Answer 4

that's the question of the year. i have a 14 month and a 2 year old that will be 3 next month and what i found that works best with my boys is that if you walk away the tantrums are not is bad i guess it takes the fun out of it for them try this and good luck keep your head up it will get better

Answer 5

Well I can't u to do this but when i was about 6 yrs old it was at Christmas and was me and my mom.Well i had to have something like a toy at sear so i done what your son is doing and at the time my mom had long finger nail and she reach down to pick me up and i pull back,and she put her nails in my arm and blood came but i nerve had a tantrum again.

Answer 6

He's in his "terrible 2's" that is normal for that age, but he may also be spoiled rotten :) Do nothing let him go on just don't give in. He'll wear himself out and eventually realize he won't get anything that way. Just make absolutely sure noone else (like grandparents they are the worst) lets him have his way or it will screw up the discipline your trying to teach him. now if he's doing it in public, just take him to the car and let him finish up there. Make sure he knows he'll get what he wants when he's NOT acting like that.

Answer 7

let him know that that behavior will not get his way . take him to his room and let him have his tantrum there. do not give him what he wants when he acts that way. my kids got a spanking when they tried that stuff, they learned that crying for nothing that wasn't accomplishing anything. but parents now days don't discipline anymore. my first 2 were disciplined more than the last2 and you can tell the difference.

Answer 8

send him to 3-year-old boot camp.just kidding. let him whine all he wants. he needs to know from an early age that he is not always going to have his way.