My little boy has just started school been there 4 weeks but he is being really naughty.?

Question

My little boy started school in September. A lot has happened this year i have seperated from his dad and in May we moved to a different house. My little boy seemed to cope with this but when he started school he has started to be really naughty. I have been called in to speak to the teacher and he has only been there 2 weeks. They have said that he is rough with the other cildren and dosnt seem to be bothered about making friends. 2 Parents have said that he is being nasty to their children. Up until school he attended nursery full time where he was kind to children had lots of friends and no reall issues. He did go through a naughty stage when i split with his dad but that is to be expected. I am worried about how the teacher is dealing with him as the other day i went to pick him up for a doctors appointment he was sat nicley drawing and the way she said his name was as though she was having a go at him. You could see him jump in his chair as though he was about to be shouted at.

Answer 1

speak to the teacher again- unfortunately once children get a "bad" name they carry it with them!- hes had a lot to deal with but you can't let him think that this is ok!
as for the teacher- sometimes they simply don't connect with a certain child and maybe this is what has set him off!
children are nasty to others one minute and best friends the next- i'd take no notice of this! just try and keep his routine constant and he'll soon feel secure - who knows what goes through a 4 year olds mind!!
keep an eye on the teacher!

Answer 2

It is a hugely frightening thing to start any new experience and your son may just be feeling very overwhelmed.
It is always easy to place the blame squarely on home difficulties. You really need to sit and talk in a friendly way with all the adults he has to deal with in school.
It is very easy for the teacher, who is of course stressed out herself at the start of the school year, to label your son and then not be able to see what is really going on with him.
I have to correct this problem in at least one(different) member of my staff every year.
We are all human after all.
That is not to say that his previous problems are not coming back to haunt him, but this would probably reflect in other behaviours as well.
Try not to come over as The Demanding Mother. The teacher can only give each child so much of her time and she may feel threatened by you calling her on your son.
If you can build a friendly relationship with the staff it will serve both you and your son in good stead.
Start by pointing out that he can be an unholy terror- what boy can't at times(even if he isn't, it will relax them).Agree ways that you can both teach him signals that what he is doing is not right.
He sounds as if he is a bright lad, so have an agreed signal; the tap of a teacher's arm on her shoulder or a password that lets him know he has to back off.
Good luck.

Answer 3

Hi Firefly
Your Son is not happy at this school, and i don't think it has any thing to do with you and his dad splitting up. He was great at pre school you said because the teachers there no that they are only kids. Now hes at the bigger school the teachers just expect the kids to sit and be quiet(There only kids) if your son shows any signs of being frighten of this teacher i would make an appointment to see her and ask her what she thinks the problem is with him. Just watch and listen to her answer. She wouldn't lie it if a teacher was shouting at her 4/5 year old. She could be picking on your son.

Answer 4

I'm getting the feeling that the teacher is extremely frustrated by your son's behavior. This situation sounds tough, but you can work through it. I would strongly recommend that you meet with the teacher and make sure that she is aware of all of the changes your son had recently experienced. Communication here is key. The more information the teacher has, the better able she is to meet your child's needs. That being said, I would also encourage you to talk to your son daily about what he is doing at school, who his friends are, and how he feels about his teacher. Always be supportive of the teacher in front of your child, even if you do not like her. There is nothing more unsettling than a child knowing that their parent and teacher dislike one another. So just keep on top of things. If you sons's behavior doesn't improves, I'd recommend counseling to help him adjust to these big changes in his life.

Answer 5

We had the same problem moving to Spain.
With all the upheaval of the move both our boys were very bad at school one is now 15 and has started to grow up at last but the younger is only 5 he has been at school since he was two and i think its because of the move and different culture .
see how your little gets on in a couple of months and before you leave school talk to his teacher to find out if there is something that's causing the problem and sooner or later it will show itself.
try also not to forget that he is only young and no dad does not help.talk to him and ask him whats causing him to be rough with the other children and explain that its not the way to behave .

Answer 6

Your little boy has had alot of issues to cope with in a short time. It is his way of dealing with all the upsets & changes, he isnt naughty I would take him out of school and be with him at home just you and him together and build up a lovely relationship, and at the same time you can teach him reading/writing and develop between the 2 of you. It is your job to make sure that everything is safe and solid with you and your son at home before anything else, school can wait a term or so. It is crucial that things are tops at home before he goes into another world. to quote "the first 8 years in a childs life are the most important years....the formative years...hope this helps you....

Answer 7

My brother was like that !! He changed school and suddenly he was very good at school but naughty at home !!

Just chiill out and take it easy the more you worry the more he's going to be naughty ! When he does good things congradulate him loads and when he does a naughty thing completly ignore him ! He is doing it for attention to kind of say "hi look at me" . As you divorced he obviously wasn't getting the attention from both parents at the same time ( sorry i'm a bit confusing )
My mum used to cry when she heard all the naughty things he did i told her the same thing i told you and it worked ! He was being naughty because my dad worked in london and we lived in b'ham ! So we wouldn't see him in the week !

And don't worry about the other mothers they are trying to hide the bad side of their kids by making it as if yours is the worse !! Jus try and ingore them ! ( i know it can be hard )

So remember act positive around him and congradulate him for the things he does well ! And ignore him when he is being naughty ! At the moment it looks like he is getting the attention when he is being naughty so he keeps doing it as he wants the attention !! Any way i hope this helps !!

Good Luck .... !!

Answer 8

have a little word with him and tell him you are putting a poster on the wall so as he can get stickers for good behaviour at school,tell him that you will speak to his teacher every day after school to hear how he got on that day in class,tell him you will give him a sticker if he is nice to the other children as well, see how he reacts to that, also tell him that you love him very much and that no matter what you will never leave him,he might think he will come home one day and you would have left him, his life must feel very insecure at the moment,bge patient with him keep in contact with his teacher so she will see you are truely trying to sort this out,and keep an eye on her somtimes teachers just dont like a certain kid, then you can get him changed to another class... good luck hope he see the errors of his ways before he gets disliked by to many, and remember his still very young.

Answer 9

You're a parent. Be a parent. Don't leave your child in the hands of a counselor - talk to him yourself. Find out what's going on. If he resists, keep trying. Don't give up. And you're going to have to be tough - even to the point of discipline. Let him know that even though there are family problems his behavior is unacceptable. But the main thing is to talk to him and find out exactly what the problem is. Yes, he needs a dad - all children need both a mom and a dad. That's the ugliest part of divorce - how it affects the kids. If his dad isn't in the position to help (or is unwilling to help) then you're going to have to take control of the situation and do it yourself. One of the biggest reasons for problem children is that they don't have good parents. Good parents keep the reigns pulled in so that their children don't have to opportunity to run wild.

Answer 10

Isis is correct, he needs counseling - and so do you, to be able to help him handle his anger. Speak to your pediatrician, s/he will be able to recommend a good therapist or clinic for the two of you. If he is beginning to be afraid of his teacher, you also need to have a conference with her and with the principal; or perhaps consider pulling him out of school for the rest of the year and starting over next school year, to give him time to begin to heal and to learn to deal with everything that has happened. The most important thing to remember in raising happy, emotionally healthy children is stability - they need to know what to expect all the time, under any circumstances. He is most likely anxious about losing you in some way as well, and the acting out in school is one way he is exhibiting separation anxiety. Tell him every day how much you love him and how very important he is to you, be sure he knows that you will always be there for him, and hug him, hug him, hug him! Blessings to the both of you.