is something wrong with me?

Question

I turned 16 two months ago, started college which i HATE but cant drop out and do something else.
I have had acne since i was about 8 or 9 years old, im supossed to be starting Roaccutane next month that "works" but im not getting my hopes up on that. I am really pale, i would love to get a tan but getting a tan involves showing skin which i dont want to do because i am too self-concious because I feel fat all the time, i cant stand the way i look, my mum gets mad when-ever i try and talk to her about how i am feeling, i cant call my nan because my mum doesnt like me talking to her, no idea why, i have a younger brother and sister who i cant talk to because i dont get on.
I have had counselling before but it didnt work at all, the time between appointments was just too long.

What can i do???
It is realy starting to get to me now.

My doctor just keeps trying to refer me to the counsellor, i have an appointment with them in January 07..thats the closest they have, the time between each appointment is about 4 months..i cant wait that long.

easy to say about getting new clothes to make me happy, we are a single parents family, my mum only gets £140 a week and almost all of that goes on bills, i cant get a job, no one seems to reply to me when i havnd my CV in or anything.
We dont get pocket money because we just cant afford it.

i dont actually care much about what people think of me, its what i think of myself..i cant stand it.

College is horrible, there is too much coursework due in all at once, i cant keep up, im finding it hard..i didnte even want to go to college, my mum forced that on me.

i didnt know what to study, my mum told me to take a media course just because i done well at GCSE's at media studies...i am not enjoying it at all and cant drop out because my mum said no.

Just incase...
Im in the UK, it is seen here that you leave high school at 16 and go straight to college after..if you dont your considered a failure and c rap like that.

Answer 1

no, you sound like a normal neurotic 16 year old to me

Answer 2

The following was sent to me several years ago and still helps me! It may help you too:
Things That Will Help Make You Feel Good! Think about them one at a time before going on to the next one. It does make you feel good, especially the thought at the end #45.
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting a card or letter in the mail
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.!
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into someones eyes and knowing that they Love you
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke
24. Friends.
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29 Playing with a new puppy or kitten.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40 Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

Answer 3

Now that you are 16 years of age, I reckon you are old enough to make some of your own decisions. You don't say why you have to stay at College if you hate it so much. Not everyone goes to College; some people go straight into work at your age. Have you any interests which could lead you into a job that you would like?

Regarding the acne.... some people are plagued with it for several years. My middle Son was, despite antibiotics and creams form our GP. Just wash thoroughly, so that you know you've done your best. As to being really pale, sun tans can be dangerous, so try to accept yourself for who and what you are.

If your Nan lives nearby, why not call in for a chat. Take a small bunch of flowers to break the ice. If she lives at a distance, why not call her on a public telephone first.

Failing that, do you have a Favourite Aunt, Uncle, Tutor, or Church Minister to whom you can have a chat?

It has occured to me that your Mum and Siblings might benefit from Family Group Councelling. It may help.

I imagine your Doctor is all ready trying to help you, from what you said. How about another chat with him about your weight concerns. Are you sure you are as "fat" as you think?

It seems to me that you need to learn to love yourself for who you are. I am sorry counselling hasn't helped. Please, don't give up.

Here's a hug from me. I wish you well. God bless.

Answer 4

16 is a difficult age for most people. Life does get better.

The college that you hate can be some help to you, if you will use the resources it provides. There should be a clinic at the college. At the clinic you could explain to the professional what bothers you (sounds like depression to me), and they can refer you to someone that can help (maybe a doctor that can proscribe some medication to ease you problems). The college should also have some thing to assist you with getting a proper diet, and a gym for you to work out in. As for the tan try uncovering just some skin at a time (arms, legs, back etc).

Another thing that may help you is to find some real friends that you can talk to.

good luck, let me know if this helps.

Answer 5

Sorry that things aren’t working out. Perhaps your college has some type of counseling. It sounds like you need someone to talk to. Please understand that a lot of these feelings are normal for a teenager & few 16 year-olds are in college. I realize that you do have real issues but remember that years from now a lot of what happens today will not seem so important. I would suggest that you try to enjoy college & please try to make the most of it. You might try taking a lighter class load till things look better. I wish you the best of luck & please find someone to talk to (but be careful online). It sounds like you could use both counseling & a friend to talk to.

If you’re 16 why are you in college? Is this the cause of some of your problems? Tell your college that you need some help NOW! Good luck.

Answer 6

I really feel for you. First the tan. How about using a place where you can use a sun bed or one of those stand up ones? I wouldn't endorse a lot of usage of these things but it'd be a good start.
Now to feeling fat. If you're genuinely over-weight and your mother is the person thats feeding you then you and her DO need to talk. Explain that you need to be on a sensible diet. You know the obvious stuff... keep off the fats, fizzy sugar laden drinks, eat lots of fruit and veg. Hopefully when the weight starts coming down and you gat a bit tanned your confidence will return slowly. Good luck.

Answer 7

It sounds like you just have a build up of worries which you are not coping with and have no one to talk to about them. Councelling is brilliant, keep the appointment but in the meantime talk to a college tutor you trust. Explain that you are having some trouble coping generally and ask if there is a college concellor. There usually is. You will get seen very quickly (my son was seen within a week) and you can start to work things out. Good luck!

Answer 8

Hi TerryAnne. I would definitely go with the advice that CC has given you but I would also add a few other things. Sweetheart you have got to learn to love yourself as you are and with the body you have because you are (God willing) going to occupy it for a long time. It sounds like, although you never said it, you are comparing yourself to others and then finding yourself wanting. The road to hell is comparing yourself to others because as unique and and beautiful a person as you are, so are they. There are things that you can change about your appearance and there some things that you cannot. For example, if you feel that you are overweight you can do exercise. In relation to the acne, I am quite a bit older than you but still struggle with it despite exercising, drinking water and eating lots of fruit and veg. I could not get rid of my acne so I have had to learn to love myself, spots and all! Focus inwards my dear and don't spend a lot of time looking at others. They have what God has blessed them with, and you have what He has blessed you with. I am sure that , although you may not feel that way now, you're blesssings are plentiful. I remember the uncertainties and self-doubt that plagued me as a teenager, and how I never ever thought that I would get it together, but I did and you will too. As CC said, things will get better. I wish you all the very best, stay strong and learn to know your own worth. You are worth a lot, in fact you're priceless! Much love. Peace.

Answer 9

Hello I hope I can help you a little, I think you are a little young to worry that your skin wont get better with age. I had bad skin when I was younger and had to change my diet which I am still on now. I have plenty of fruit and veg, which I know is a bummer but if your serious about your skin you should consider. You can as well take time to relax in a bath or shower with a cream mask on which makes you feel amazing anyway. I also must have lots of orange juice and 100% natural yogurt, I could go on for ages but I should hope and imagine that would help you for now. Many Many wishes of good luck and please let me now how you get on, your friend hayley-may

Answer 10

16 is a tough age. First give college a chance. College was the best time of my life after the first year. And working sucks.
Next stop giving a f**k what people think about you. Everybody has something wrong with them that they want to hide.
With your family, that's a shame. Not sure what to tell you, but good luck and hang in there, it doesn't get much better from 16.

Answer 11

A very sick mama dog is an extremely stressful situation. And I understand your anger at some of the answers that you received. It is normal for you to want to vent back to these folks some of your anger and frustration. So, try to remain calm and keep your focus on your dog & pups. Don't let this cloud your true goal - a healthy dog. And yes, I would love to know this outcome. Kudos to you for your quick action in caring for 7 pups! It isn't easy! I wish that more people would realize that there are situations that stump even the best of vets. While the calicum issue is the most common with these symptoms, it is not the only cause. And your dedication to this dog and her pups is very, very admirable. So, you know that you are responding to this crisis in the best manner possible. You are doing all you can do in an extremely difficult situation. Let God sort out the rest. Peace