abusive ex-boyfriend?

Question

soooo... if the man I was supposed to marry were to beat me, should I just stay away from all men? He said I drove him to do it. I just don't understand what I could've possibly done. Should I just not trust men anymore?

oh i know not all guys are bad, I just don't know who to trust.

Answer 1

Not all men are the same , as you will find out . Nobody drove him to it but himself, there are laws against abuse . If it is done now think what it will be like when he thinks he has a lisence to behave like that. Tell him you dont put up with that behaviour and no matter how much you love him , you are not prepared to tollerate it. Love is a partnership , not an ownership,and reespect does not come from being abusive

Answer 2

Not all men are like that. This man has a big problem, stay away from him, the beatings will only get worse. You didn't do anything to cause him to beat you. No woman deserves to be beaten no matter what the circumstance is. He will tell you you made him do it and try to make you believe that and then he'll say he's sorry and will never do it again. Don't fall for that, it never gets better. Even though you love him get out of the relationship now, it's not good and you will only be physically abused or maybe worse. Do not bring children into this situation. There are a lot of good men out there that wouldn't think of beating on a woman. Life is too short to live like this. You will find someone that will treat you right.

Answer 3

Your ex boyfriend has an issue- abusing important people in his life. Neither you nor anyone else deserves to be in a relationship where that is taking place. He said that it's your fault he was beating you, but don't believe it for a moment. Even if you did do something which would make him mad, there are much better ways to deal with things than violence. It is never right for a man to physically harm a lady. Don't marry him, and stay away from him and any guy who shows signs of being abusive like that. But no, don't distrust all guys because of how one has hurt you. Not all men are like that, and there is someone better for you out there! Nothing that happened in your past relationship was your fault. The only thing you did wrong was to get into it in the first place. Believe me, it's not you- it's him.

Answer 4

I hear ya. First there is never anything anyone could ever do in a loving healthy relationship to cause the man to beat his partner. It is straightup unacceptable. No loving partner would ever want harm to come to his significant other. They are there to protect and love and be loved not to cause hate and discontent. I have been there and back and it isn't good to close yourself off to something completely because of a bad experience. Learn from it by not allowing it to occur again and move on. Remember that you are a wonderful person and deserve the very best. Don't allow yourself to be disrespected. There is nothing wrong with a little respect and love.

Another point I'd like to add. If he is abusing you he will abuse your friends, family, and for sure any children you will have. This will lead to a lifetime of pain and misery. No one wants that and no one for sure wants to see their children treated anything less than fantastic. So move on find another one. The place you pick him up in will more likely reflect the quality of person he is and the type of relationship you are in for. Watch everything about him his demeanor, how he treats people he knows, and how he responds to you. Take it slow and be honest up front what you want and what u will and will not tolerate. If he doesn't respect that then he doesn't love you and it isn't going to work out and u should move on.

I am now in a happy relationship and see it lasting many long years. I was confused there for a long time but I am so happy I made the decisions I did because it allowed me to find the man I now have. Be brave, have fun and stick to your guns hun your worth it.

Answer 5

Any woman that stays in that type of relationship has serious image issues. Dominant men find your weaknesses and exploit them, making it that much harder to leave. They ruin your self-esteem, make you question your self-worth, and generally reduce your ego to nothing. Given all that, it becomes increasingly more difficult to leave that relationship because the woman will feel like she can't do any better, and in some cases will actually feel that they deserve the abuse they are forced to take. The bottom line is that nobody is better than anyone else. Nobody deserves to be abused, mentally or physically. Men who treat women that way are actually weaker than the women they hurt. There are lots of men out there who will treat women as they should be treated... with respect. There is absolutely no benefit to being in an abusive relationship. Those small fleeting moments of happiness when he does something nice are all negated by all the badness. I hear women say "but he does the nicest things for me" or "he loves me". If he loved you, he would treat you as an equal and not as a punching bag, physical or otherwise. Leaving a relationship can be a scary thing. And with your self-esteem ruined, you will have doubts as to whether you can meet someone else. The first thing you have to do is rediscover yourself. Think of yourself as the person you once were, and the person you want to be. If you act as though you are the person you want to be... Eventually, it won't be an act.

Answer 6

well firstly he was not the man you were supposed to marry you really don't deserve abuse-nobody does.. I am currently in a relationship with a boxer evryone stereotypes him to someone who would beat a girl and he is the most amazingly gentle guy. yeswe do have our fights but never physical! Girl, you know what's right for you don' not trust ever again coz then you'll live a very lonely life just make it clear from the start what you willing to put up with! even if it takes a 100 guys your true love is out ther somewhere go get him

Answer 7

Well girl I would make sure there was maximum amount of miles between you and Mr Abuser. There are good men out there. Just watch and listen to what they say and do. Don't trust too easily. As you all ready know love CAN kill you

Answer 8

I has a ex that does the same thing and he also said that i pushed him to hit me. Bo not believe in that. They do that because they could not control themselves. Its not about you but its him. When he feel angry he need to hit something he just could not talk it out. Unless he seek professional help then stay with him if not stay away from him. When he say he is sorry and will not do that again is a lie, when he feel angry he'll still do the same thing.

Answer 9

Your ex was an abusive bully with big problems of his own. His problem had nothing to do with you or anything you did.

There are some great guys out there... Take sometime and get to know some...

You shouldn't judge all men by one bad experience...

Love, laugh, live.....

Answer 10

You didn't drive him to it, that is an age old excuse for abusers. Not all people are alike so you should not distrust all men. Just don't go for the abusive type anymore.