I'm an in-law of the groom and don't really enjoy weddings as I can't stand talking about nothing to people I don't actually know and feel really uncomfortable but can't get out of going due to my partner and children wanting to go.
I do get on with my other in-laws but, again, what new things do I have to talk about that we haven't already discussed? Some in-laws I could chat with are now grandparents so will be busy drooling over their offspring's offspring and I can hardly sit there reading a book can I?
Can anyone suggest what to do while there? I'm tee-total so can't get wild drunk and burn up the dancefloor and often find myself sitting bored. My partner has forbidden me to leaving early as well - so it seems my only choice is to sit there and look totally bored.
Suggestions to break the monotony and to stop me looking a miserable devil for a few hours please?
2006-10-14 22:26:32 · 20 answers · asked by Yagowra Shakaboom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
basically you have already decided that you don't want to be there!
Look has it ever crossed your mind that with your attitude- maybe people might not look forward to seeing you either?
You have judged the fact that everyone is going to be boring, everyone will just talk about grandchildren etc!
Instead of being negative, why dont you just go there with the aim of having fun, enjoying the time with your family, and make a real and genuine effort to be NICE to everyone you meet there?
For all you know the people who you describe as boring might remember how standoffish you are when they see you and they might just hold back from really trying to get to know you.
Start by just smiling at everyone and being warm and friendly, people always react to a friendly face, anyway this is not your day,so why not just make comments at first about how nice the bride looks etc, comment on the food, the people you havent seen for a while.
A good thing that always works is to tell people how great they are looking, and ALWAYS give people a compliment- it makes them feel good, and they will warm to you!
Why not make this wedding a mission to open up new friendships and to close down the old prejudices!
I do not believe that you are as miserable as your question makes you sound, but maybe you are a bit shy and feel uncomfortable at these kind of situations- but guess what_ Almost everyone else does too, but why not do your family proud and let them enjoy the day without having to worry whether you are happy or not- they will love you and respect you for that!
All the best.
2006-10-14 22:51:38 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really isn't a matter of whether or not you enjoy weddings. You've been invited to share the marrying couples happy day.
1. That's a nice thing whether you enjoy it or not
2. Would it kill you to just act like you're having a nice time?
If you would make the effort to talk with a few people you may find it isn't monotonous at all. Talk to some of those little grandchildren if they're at the wedding. They may actually be entertaining. Talk to adults. Ask where they live, whether they like their town/city, or talk about opinions about why schools don't turn out more college grads, why the oil prices are what they, or what's good or bad about working at large versus small companies. Talk about some program you saw on television or some new program you have on your computer. Talk about what a nice place the reception is being held at or the history of the church (if they get married in a church). Just get a reading on who is sitting near you, and start up conversation based on what you think would be appropriate for that person.
Dance the slow dances with your partner if you don't like fast-dancing.
It doesn't take long for a few hours to pass if you eat, talk a little, dance a little, talk a little, sit and do nothing a little, dance again, talk again, etc. Come on - this is just a matter of attitude. You are being a troll about this.
2006-10-14 22:59:01 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you go along with an open mind and be open to the idea of enjoying yourself? It's not as if you're even going to a wedding where you don't know anyone - but from your question heading until I read what else you had written I thought you were just a new date of someone who had been invited since your question sounded so negative!
Also, you don't get to be comfortable with talking to strangers until you actually do it, so go along and force yourself to talk to new people - you might find you actually enjoy yourself. I used to be quite shy around new people, but you get over it if you make an effort.
We went to a wedding a few weeks ago where we hardly knew anyone - so we talked to the people on our table and got to know them and had a great day and a really good laugh.
If you go with a negative attitude you will have a rubbish time. It's that simple. And also the day isn't about you, it's about the bride and groom, so try to make an effort for their sake.
2006-10-15 05:46:48 · answer #3 · answered by pomme_blanche_2004 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Could you think about this diferently so that it doesn't have to become a self-fullfilling prophesy? Perhaps there will be a guest from the Bride's side who you have never met and who doesn't want to be there either? Am not trying to preach, honest, but I have discovered from personal experience that if I think up a better future scenario then it invariably seems to spookily happen that way I'm not a crack pot and you don't have to believe it anyway, but try and imagine a best case scenario and what would make the day easier for you... Give it a go just to prove me wrong!
2006-10-14 22:36:58 · answer #4 · answered by youdancin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take some crayons and coloring books with you... Maybe some legos...
Take a few changes of clothing, and change once every half hour, people won't recognize you in different clothes...
Take a deck of cards with you, and a jar of change... Start a poker game, before you know it everyone will be at your table, and you will be having a wonderful time...
Sit on the floor with a empty wine bottle, and just spin it, people will join in this game also (spin the bottle)
Pick up a (Pin the tail on the donkey) game... hang this on the ladies rest room door... hand out the soaps and hand lotions usually supplied - as winners gifts....
Take your camera with you and a duck... take a picture of everyone, with the duck...
Start a bingo game.. cash prizes
gosh I could go on and on, there is just so much one can do at a wedding to spice it up some....
2006-10-14 22:48:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you get out of going??? Your partner has FORBIDDEN you to leaving early!!! You need to stand up for yourself, if you do not want to go, then don't, who died and left them BOSS of you? You do not need an excuse, just send back the RSVP without you being included. Why on earth would you want to go if you aren't comfortable around these people, and more importantly why would your partner want you to be subjected to a miserable evening, that shows no respect for your feelings. Now on the flip side...did the Bride and Groom come to your Wedding, if so then go and have a good time with your Partner, if you didn't go to their Wedding then send the RSVP back with your regrets and forget about it..nothing to feel guily about returning the favor, send a gift and forget it, and tell your Partner that you have made your decision and they can go by themselves if they want to, and if you must go and want to leave early, drive yourself and LEAVE early like you wanted ....problem solved.
2006-10-15 02:34:55 · answer #6 · answered by MiMi 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well if it was me I'd take a paint ball gun and shot anyone who annoyed me in the forehead! I too hated to be forced to events like this but thankfully I'm a graphic artist so yes I would take a book but I would custom make dust jackets with titles like
"Brain Surgery for Dummies"!
Pick up a butter knife and open to the milled of the book! Talk about a good way to clear a room.
don't get me wrong I'm really a nice guy and all I love my friends and "My Family" with all my heart...but the rest of my relatives? Lets say most are hooked on being better than anyone else!!!
2006-10-14 22:44:20 · answer #7 · answered by BigBadWolf 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't have to be drunk to burn up the dance floor. Ummm I suggest you get the stick out of your butt whle you're there. Get on the dance floor and dance. Go around and TALK to people you don't know that well. To tell you the truth with your attitude I can't understand why your partner and kids would even WANT you to go with them. If it were me I'd make you stay home alone while the rest of us went and enjoyed a wedding and the reception afterwards.
2006-10-14 22:31:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Your partner needs to meet you half way on this. You are being agreeable on going with her, but she should not make your stay longer than you can tolerate. You can simply state to others you must leave early because you are not feeling well. That way no one can give you a hard time about going. Make this clear with your partner, she needs to be more flexible.
2006-10-14 22:33:05 · answer #9 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can buy miniture radios that slip into the pocketwith an ear piece...? dance? or I spy? why cant you go without your partner ?you r wishes should be respected . Why cant you chat to your partner at the wedding?
2006-10-14 23:26:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋