How come some people who've had a really awful childhood can make a good and stable life for themselves, get a job, decent hubby etc with no apparent ill effects, yet others who've had the same experiences turn to crime, alcohol, drugs etc? Is it completely down to a person's genes or is it more spiritual than that? I know two people who are sisters and only a year between them, they both had a really awful childhood with a violent father, yet the older one is now going from one violent partner to another, she has 3 kids who she doesn't care about as she's cut off from all her emotions, and she takes drugs, drinks etc. She lost her council home due to spending all her money on drugs. On the other hand her sister is living with her long term boyfriend and has just had a little boy who she clearly loves, and she has a part time job to support her family. Why is it that people grow up so differently from the same experiences? Is it all to do with personality or individual life purpose?
2006-10-14 22:15:38 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I believe it comes down to attitude. My sister and I were born 10 months apart and were raised in an environment of drug-using and abusive adults. As adults, she chose to nurture her bitterness and anger and I chose to seek counselling and use my experiences as a stepping stone to better myself. Her life is full of drugs, jail, benefits, and ever-changing partners. Mine includes a degree, successful career, home of my own, and a wonderful husband. I have refused to let my past rule my present. In my mind, the sweetest revenge has been a loving and successful life. I let it go and I have won. She holds it close and it is destroying her.
2006-10-15 07:14:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theres two things that determine how each person deals with life. Nature and Nurture. Nature is determined by genetics...what we inherited from our parents, parents parents etc. Nurture is determined by the actual influences we encounter in early childhood. I have always been curious why my twin brother and I have grown up so totally different. Im nice...he's a complete arsehole and I dont like him very much. We are all different but how we turn out is usually determined by the age of 5. So blame the parents.
2006-10-15 01:41:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its surely life choices, life experiences, life dreams. If one only lives in the present and doesnt have goals, dreams....it can cause them to become lost. Some adults remain like a child...and that 'child' in them cannot take care of the adult that theyve become. They have never dreamt about life as an adult. It's a sad thing.
2006-10-14 22:20:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a bad childhood.I vowed I would treat my children with lots of love and cuddles and LISTEN to them. I now have three grown up children who are not afraid to tell me their problems and love me. We all handle things differently May be some people just harbour the bitterness for too long.
2006-10-14 23:17:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
each to their own...
life is what we choose to make it, if were strong minded and strong willed we can make good choices, they might not always turn out great but we get along.
on the other hand, if were not so strong and dont know how to lift ourselfs out of our sadness we can go further down.
in other words it really is upto us to make the best of our situation, i've been doing just that since leaving home at 15.
you deal with the cards your dealt!
thats all.
2006-10-14 22:26:34 · answer #5 · answered by kizzycooper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A difficult one to answer.
I think it is a combination of everything including outside influences and that strength of character is the most important.
Sometimes it is the tiny throwaway remark that hurts us most and if we do not have a coping mechanism in place then we have no chance of proper survival.
2006-10-14 22:22:04 · answer #6 · answered by Amanda K 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can choose to be a victim or choose to move on and make a life for yourself. You are not responsible for other peoples actions only your own.
2006-10-14 23:50:16 · answer #7 · answered by simon m 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you either get on with life and try to make the best of it or you blame the world your choice
2006-10-16 08:57:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
we are all unique individuals. no two people will recount the exact same event in the exact same way. similarly no two people will respond to the exact same events in the same way.
2006-10-14 23:13:50 · answer #9 · answered by silly billy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Different people+Different sercumstances= Many solutions, or no solution at all.
2006-10-14 22:19:55 · answer #10 · answered by foxy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋