Is it normal for my mom to be this way????

Question

b4 i start this i wanna let ya'll know that i love my mom very much...

...but sometimes i wanna just choke her!!! she's always yelling at me, and she always wants my help with stuff. i am only 15, and she won't really let me hang out with my friends, because she says its too dangerous, she and my father are pastors, and i try to help out where i can, but sometimes she just keeps adding things to my list of things to do, and she never seems satisfied with what i get done. it feels like i have to be perfect because anything less than perfect will piss her off. now i know that my mom loves me, and she doesn't hit me and stuff, but sometimes i feel like i just can't make her happy. now i am a daddy's girl, and i know this andshe knows this. when i am upset about something i confide in him, even that pisses her off cuz she says we taking sides against her. i have an older brother, and he don't help out wit the church at all, he even had a child out of wedlock, but nomatter what, i get it

and i wanna know why. what did i do wrong??? and what do i continually do wrong? will i ever be able to make her truely proud of me, she often says that she is, but i ain't always sur i bleve her.

i would really apprieciate it if i can get some parents' opinions on this situation.

especially other moms of teenage daughters

i just want to say, that i am a good kid. i have my secrets, yes, but i have never done anything extremely bad. the worst thing that i have done is get iss for arguing with a teacher. my friends are good people too, i don't hide friends from my parents. and all of our parents know each other. i have never been late for curfew or anything like that. one time i even ran two miles in ten minutes just so that i could be home on time. but yet my mom acts as if she cannot trust me.

she also gets upset that my dad trusts me more than she does. he'll let me go out on a school night and hang with friends. one time (during the summer) he even let me and my friends play around all night. it was like 2am when we finally came in the house. all he told us was that we had to stay within clear sight of the house, and we did, so he didn't have a problem with this. My thing is, why can't my mom trust me like he does??

i never said that my dad was the "cool" parent. he's just as strict as she is, just on different things. like right now, that i am fifteen, he knows that i like this boy and that the boy likes me, so that boy isn't allowed anywhere near me. my dad has his own goals for me. it is just easier for me to keep from gettin him angry because he is very clear on what ticks him off, while my mom on the other hand seems to change daily.

Answer 1

I am a father but I know what you are going through. Parents sometimes keep their children busy because if kids are left alone to do what they want then they usually get into trouble. Look at the drug problems and teenage mothers and all the crazy problems of today's society. Seems to me they care an awful lot about you. Too many parents today just let their kids go do what they want and they sometimes pay the ultimate price. Maybe you could talk to them and let them know how you feel. Seems to me you are becoming more of an adult and they might need to let you start growing mentally on your own a little more. They probably see you as the responsible one so they put most of it on you. Let them know that it is causing you some stress and discuss it like a young adult. Who knows, maybe they'll relax a bit.

Answer 2

Okay. I am a parent of two who are now in early twenties. I remember that 15 age well, but also, I remember being 15 myself.
For me 15 was the most challenging time with my parents so I can really relate to everything you're saying. You see, 15 is that age where you need to be taking on more responsibility and allowed to do a little bit more than before, your hormones are kicking in and you want more control in your life. That's how I felt, really wanted to more than I was allowed.

Now from the rents point of view, THEY KNOW this is the time when their darlings are growing up and need to be doing more stuff and making more of their own decisions etc. and that absolutely TERRIFIES a lot of parents...they suddenly realise you are asking to do things you never used to, they're worried you may be abducted, take drugs, get drunk etc. And even if they had 100% trust in you, they worry about the influence your friends may have on you (peers are often more looked up to at this time, rather than parents).

So, all that said, you need to make a time when you can all sit down and talk things through. Plan a time. Make sure it's not going to clash with other things. Basically, don't present your argument in a critical blaming way....tell them that you want to find compromises. Write an agenda out to go through your points. Cover everything that you have said above. Really try to understand their points of view. Remember, don't lose it or they could get up and refuse to continue. Show them how adult you are. Before the end of the meeting, write out some ground rules that you can all agree on.
Have a chore list you all agree and say it can't be changed or added to unless there is a special reason.

So in closing, this is a hard time for you, and it is a scary time for your parents, get together and tell each other about your feelings. LISTEN to what each other has to say.

Best wishes.

Answer 3

Your Her Daughter, and She is going to expect more out of You. Mom's don't seem to treat the Son's the same. Your Mom can't expect You to be perfect, because She would surely know that only one Man was without sin, and that was and is Jesus. Sometimes as Mothers We get so busy and behind on things, We will give more chores to Our Children. Besides We just did ten things, We figure they can do one. And We usually have to keep harping to get that done. We are taught that idle hands are the devil's handy work, and Your Mom does love You, and I can assure You that She is proud of You. You will understand one day, but You will have to have Children before You do. And it is really hard when one Parent has to do all the discipline, while the other gets to be the cool Parent. Believe Me, You will thank the non cool Parent later in Life when You need the wisdom to call upon to raise Your Children.

Hang in There...Your day will come... and so will Your rewards....

And it would really help if You sat Her down, at a non stressful time, and discussed Your feelings with Her...By the Way Mom's are only Human....We make mistakes too............

Answer 4

I have 5 children and I do foster parenting. The simplest way that I can put it is like this. Parents want their children to learn responsibility, hence the chores and assignments. We hope that you are learning the basic skills that you will need when you go to work, such as listening to instructions and completing a task. If they won't let you hang out with friends, maybe it really is because they think it is dangerous. My idea of dangerous for a 15 year old being walking home alone after dark, not being honest about who they are out with or what they are going to be doing...that type of stuff. The yelling part, she may need to work on that, but I too have done my share of yelling. It comes form frustration because you feel that you are being ignored and that the child is not learning and is perhaps being disrespectful. In my years, I have fortunately learned that the yelling didn't benefit me or child. I could write a book about why parents are like this...
You are 15 now so you only have 3 years to go. One of my sons used to tell me "I can't wait until I'm 18!" and I would yell back "I can't either!" By the time he was 18 he decided he wanted to stay home with us and finish college. (added that so you can see the view form my kids side too)
think about this too. Freedom and leniency will more than likely be granted more often if you just get in there, get those chores done and earn her trust when you do go out, like always be home on time and be honest about who, where and what.

Answer 5

Sounds to me like this is a problem the whole family should sit down and discuss together. There should be weekly family meetings at a certain time with everyone present and all issues aired and discussed at the meeting and rules should be set for the entire family and not just you. Once set, they should be followed by everyone and not changed on a daily basis. You might even consider some family counselling for all of you.
You mom should be able to listen to your ideas and decisions made for your best interest by everyone. Hope this helps. Good luck to you and your family.

Answer 6

well im a parent but of pre teens and younger. i am also the oldest of 10 and well i was compared to my siblngs and put down all the time. i busted *** for my mom and did everything i could to make her happy and proud of me never was it good enough for her. as an adult i speek my mind and tell her im doing the best i can. i just wish i could of said it a long time ago. sit down with your mom. tell her how you feel and tell her you love her and you arent trying to make her mad you just want her to be proud that you are doing the best you can but you are a kid. and you need to act like a kid. my kids do a lot for me and i tell them im proud of them and i reward them all the time. as this never happened for me. but my kids are very outspoken with me my 8 yr old will tell me she has done enough and i respect her and leave it at that. this builds honesty between us as i want her to come to me with anything and everything. i hope this helps hun and be brave there might be yelling and tears but at least your mom will know how you feel also have your dad there to help with the situation.

Answer 7

i dont believe in god