She tells me she loves me, it's great when we're together. But she is a very independant girl and proud of it. She has something lined up for herself every minute of every day, whether it's work, her friends, or me (from time to time). I am a pretty good guy. I have my head on my shoulders, close to graduating college, and want a future and am considering a future with her but I just don't know. We have sex and she calls me several times today only to tell me she's going out with her friends and then doesn't call me tonight. She knows how I feel and I know she feels the same. It just that it only seems like she feels that way sometimes. So, what do you think she is thinking? How do I tell her I want her with me, or can I show her somehow? Need some advice.
2006-10-14 21:16:37 · 7 answers · asked by randyken 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I agree with willow. You should talk with her at some point and make your intentions and expectations clear. Or she will not know what you want out of this and she will continue to fool around and play games with you.
With independent girls, it is hard to tell them beause then they dont want to get tied down but if you want to have a future with her and if she has no clue about it, you need to express your intentions before its too late. Maybe, talk to her after you just had sex or something so chances of her saying no are less because she just had a good time with you.
Also, give her space and dont be desperate. That wil make her like you more.
Goodluck.
2006-10-14 21:34:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Randy. Sweetie? She sounds like a very interesting, intelligent, loves to hang out with her friends, doesn't want to be suffocated, girl. Know what I mean? I had a boyfriend that I really loved and he was special. I had to go out dancing every other night with my girlfriends and he was okay with it. This is the simplest way to put it into perspective.
When you scoop up a handful of sand and close your hand tightly around it, what happens? It squeezes right through your fingers and your hand is devoid of any sand. When you hold your hand out, palm up, with your hand open, what happens? The sand stays there. Give each other room to breathe.
You really love her and it sounds like she loves you too, she is just having fun like young people should be doing. That includes you too by the way. Hang out with your buddies too. It doesn't mean you are screwing around on each other. It just means you are doing what young adults do. Having fun because these days will pass too fast. Soon, these days will be replaced with sleepless nights with new babies, maybe financial worries, car problems, health problems. If you are secure with your fidelity, you will be just fine even if she isn't and vice versa. It is okay to have your own individual interests and time schedules. If you enjoy your lovemaking, then do just that. Even if it doesn't work out on a forever basis, love is love and should be treated with dignity and grace and fun.
Try not to put too many expectations on each other because, like I said, you are young. Learn from each other and grow from it. If she is cruising, she may just find out that you were the best tomato in the patch. It really is natural behavior because I always try to check all the tomatoes at the supermarket for quality before I throw them in the cart. I shop to see if there are better, less bruised, cheaper tomatoes before I make my purchase. Know what I mean?
You may not stay together permanently and that will be okay if you handle it with the grace of an adult and not the grief of a teenager.. If you are truly meant to be together, no matter how many times you split up for whatever reason, you will find each other again if it is meant to be. Everything in between is a learning process. Sometimes, we meet other wonderful people and we even learn really great things.....LOL! I know your feelings are on the line here, but don't worry. There are plenty of other young women who would love to find a great young man like you. Don't stay in a little pond if that is where you feel you are being kept. It is a beautiful, big world, full of beautiful, independent woman who will think you are the bomb. Good luck handsome. ((((Sheri))))
2006-10-14 21:50:46 · answer #2 · answered by sherijgriggs 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound very sweet. I she's not putting you as her first priority which she should be if you guys are very serious. Talk to her and remember you shouldn't be in a relationship that's not working out. Seriously sit her down and talk her how you feel about you being in second place, she needs to know that.
2006-10-14 21:41:39 · answer #3 · answered by Melissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she sounds like she is just having fun. If you really care about her go easy on the sex, if anything tell her you only want to hook up with her if it will mean you two will get serious. She might blow you off but if you really care about her you have to do it this way, otherwise you will continue to have sex with her while she lives a carefree life and she will eventually break your heart.
2006-10-14 21:20:32 · answer #4 · answered by Julian 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems you have a different few of a relationship. I would suggest you talk to her and make clear what your hopes and wishes are. You need to find a resolution or this relationship has no future .
Good Luck :-)
2006-10-14 21:23:53 · answer #5 · answered by willow, the yodakitty from hell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't tie her down.
you're better off with an independant girl than a clingy one. imagine being with someone who wanted to be with you day in day out, always wanting to know your whereabouts...
2006-10-14 21:21:57 · answer #6 · answered by lisa s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a great sinen,,,,,i like you ,,u got everything,,,,,,,,yaehhh,hit me on my email,,,,if he dont see you ,,i will ,,
2006-10-15 00:04:34 · answer #7 · answered by treyshowmeet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋