Guilty, hurt, and lonely feelings are bothering me. What can I do to feel better internally in this regard?

Question

I am so sick of feeling this way. Lots of times I am happy, and then it comes down on me. I feel hurt that my life expectations have been botched. I feel guilty that I am subject to vice. I feel lonely that it is hard for me to connect to people. I cringe at the world. Everything that I think is wrong with it keeps nagging at me and I get delusions of grandeur and persecution delusions. I know ordinary people have complications like these related to sexual desires, I suppose, in the Freudian sense--could this be plaguing me? I do genuinely feel that I have a lot to offer people. I am bright, articulate, and that I look fine. Nothing much is wrong with me but when the hurt feelings, the lonely feelings, and the guilty feelings return it is as I need to kill the pain. Surely I am overreacting. Is there any way to mellow out more than I already am? Outwardly I think I appear normal. However, I am worried about how people perceive me. Can I expand my ordinary consciousness?

Answer 1

Wow, you're pretty deep. You must not live your life worrying about what people think about you. Live your life the way you want. You are the only one who can make you happy. Don't depend on anyone else to do it. Write a book, swim naked, run like a dork, ignore all the jerks out there, laugh at everything, scream at the topo of your lungs, do something that you've always wanted to do, ignore all the jerks (again), love yourself, love your family, love everyone no matter what they do or say, forgive yourself, forgive others, pray, take your vitamins, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of water and things should get better. Good luck to you and God bless your little heart.

Answer 2

Try meditating on your own death. Imagine your body bloated and consumed by maggots. Visualize your own flesh falling away from the bone. Know that this is happening to you and your loved ones every moment of every day, that the nature of life is suffering and death, and that nothing you do could ever possibly change that. Whatever is hurting you, know that the pain you have yet to experience will be much worse.

Finally, you must decide that life is worth living anyway. That is the tricky part, which I have yet to master. I have, however, noticed a great change in my outlook since I started meditating on suffering in earnest one year ago.

Or, as the cliche says, "Don't sweat the small stuff."

So what if the vast majority of people are evil and ignorant? That's nothing compared to the suffering and death we all must experience. And shouldn't you feel compassion for those people who are all going to suffer and die--many due to their own evil and ignorance? That is a truly tragic condition.

The bottom line, I think, is that good and evil, happiness and sadness, are all temporal qualities; we render these judgments based on what we have experienced in the past and what we imagine will happen in the future. But in the here and now there is only experience. So try to live in the here and now. Try to enjoy the process of your own death, even though the result might not be perfect. Try to walk bravely into the future, even though your past might not have been pleasant.

Imagine you're being chased by a psychopathic killer with an axe. You're outside, you're having a nice run, and it's a wonderful day!

Answer 3

It sounds to me that you might be suffering from a mild depression. I had the same problem couple years ago. I talked to my doctor and he prescribed some antidepressant which I only took for a bout 4 months. They did help but I had a hard time remembering to take them. What really helped and is still helping was my regular visits with a therapist. I saw her every 2 weeks for about 6 months and now I only see her once a month. Sometimes you need to talk to someone who is a professional and can help you, someone that you can trust and at the same time you can be sure that you won't hurt them with your worlds because they are not family or friend. Give it a try. I'm sure you will feel much better.

Answer 4

Girl there are 22 "I's" in your question. Your problem is your focused on you. If you spent alot more time thinking about, and being with other people these feelings would pass. And likely you will find someone to share all those feelings that keep nagging at you.

Answer 5

you sound like you may be suffering from clinical depression. there's nothing shameful about that, it's no different from having the flu or something, your body is off-balance and needs help to get re-adjusted. even if you're not clinically depressed, you have some habitual thought patterns there that are bringing you down and keeping you from being all you want to be. some feelings of guilt, hurt, and loneliness are normal, but when they interfere with your ability to lead a normal, happy life, it's time to get help. talk to a counselor at school or in the workplace, or talk to your primary care provider about getting a referal. again, there's nothing wrong with talking to a professional to help get yourself straightened out. psychology is a *science*, it's not something we're born knowing or being able to control automatically. professional help means talking to people who have studied how the mind and emotions work and know how to help you get out of your funk.
go for it, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain!

Answer 6

Force yourself to be of service to others especially when times like these hit hardest. It does cure the lonliness, hurt feelings as well as the guilt. What you put out there to others will indeed return to you and you will keep getting better. It's a process.

Answer 7

Talk to your doctor/psychiatrist - you may be clinically depressed. This is an illness and may require medication. Do this as soon as possible. If you have thoughts of harming yourself (you mention needing to "kill the pain") see a doctor ASAP! Finding a good counsellor may also help.

Answer 8

Try writing in a journal. Also see your doctor and describe these feelings as there may be a medicine to give you some relief until you can work with a therapist. Hang in there.

Answer 9

You're emotional, that's all. Of Course, you might have a slight social phobia. My Grandmother used to say, "What will the neighbors think?"
Me, I just naturally think that everyone feels like that once in a while. But if it gets too tough, seek treatment.

Answer 10

i think you should go talk to someone like a psychologist or counselor. seriously, because they can help you cope with things in ways that no one can on a message board via the Internet. it is common, though. seeing a professional will help you get past this sooner. good luck.