my girlfriend is preg,she wanted to have an abortion but i tlked her outta it but now she says tht when the baby comes shes gonna sign over all of her parental rights to me. but i dont wanna raise the kid by myself. how can i win her bac? i want us to be good parents TOGETHER
2006-10-14 16:53:37 · 33 answers · asked by Simply Me 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
im in the same exact boat u are in.... im 15 with a 2 month year old boy and she did the same thing but we sat down talked and everything is ok now. we are doin fine. u just have to talk about it and stay fine. and she cant give u ALL the rights. she is still one of the parents whether she likes it or not. ull be fine. and u can and WILL be a good father. whether she is a good mother or not is pretty much up to her. but u can help her be a good mother. i hope this helps comin from someone in the same boat as u. i kno its scary but u have to take everything one step at a time... best of luck. and if u have any ?'s just e-mail me
2006-10-14 16:58:31 · answer #1 · answered by Micah B 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You don't need a lecture right now, although you probably know what most people would say about your situation.
Okay, so you talked her out of an abortion, but it sounds as though you won the battle but lost the war. It seems as though she is no longer your girlfriend? In that case, here's what you can do.
Stick by her. Not as a boyfriend, not as someone who's hanging around looking for sex, but as a supportive, understanding friend, who will be there to help her out through a very scary time.
If she doesn't want you to continue as a couple, there isn't anything you can do about that but accept it.
When the baby arrives, if you don't want to raise it by yourself (and you're being very smart and very realistic about that, as there is no way you could do a good job at that) then stand with your girlfriend and put the baby up for adoption. There are mature, stable couples who yearn for a kid, but can't have one themselves. They have enough money to make sure the child is well looked after, and will want for nothing. They will also make this child the center of their lives. And the child will have two parents.
It isn't the ideal solution, but it's the best one for the child, and that's who you have to consider at this point.
2006-10-14 16:59:29 · answer #2 · answered by old lady 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all, thank you for being a loving, caring and sincere boyfriend/father-to-be, rather than running from, you are running to the aid of your girlfriend and baby; you might go as a couple and talk to an adoption counselor to see if that is an option for your child. There are so many couples out there that would be give the world and be worthy of adopting your baby; this is one of those times where you have to love the baby enough to put it first. Adoptions can be open, so that you can keep in touch with your baby and be part of its life.
Whatever you do, know you are wonderful and don't further complicate your lives by "getting back together" just for the baby, because in the long run you would all suffer from what is missing in your lives.
2006-10-14 17:02:48 · answer #3 · answered by OPTIMIST 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off if you do not want a baby to raise then use protection---you know what I mean. But now that there is a baby some choices have to be made. What do you really want to happen? Are your parents in a postion to help you out with the baby? Have the two of you thought about giving the baby up for adoption? These are things you need to be asking yourself. I do wish you both luck in the future and God bless the little one that did not ask to be born. You two are making choices for it that it has no control over.....
2006-10-14 17:01:24 · answer #4 · answered by mfroeh 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't want to be a mom she might not make a very good one. Instead of trying to win her back you should try to show her the posatives of becoming a mother. Every child deserves tons and tons of love and attention so please whatever you do, don't abandon your child. This can be a very very good thing, even if you do end up being a single teen dad. Continue to go to school and get a good education so you can give your child a good life and set a good example. You can do it. There are always people willing to help with babysitting and what not to someone who is genuinely trying to better themselves and be a good parent. Having a child is the best experience in the world. The more you love your child the more your child will love you back. Please make the right decision. You will enjoy being a parent and the hardest part is the first few months or so. After that you get the hang of it and its a LOT of fun. And then they just grow up too fast. Good luck to you. You can always email me if you want to talk. Its my user name at yahoo.com.
2006-10-14 16:58:57 · answer #5 · answered by carleencapaldo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't want to raise the child, and you don't either, maybe an open adoption is the way to go (you could work it out so one or both of you could occasionally visit the child as he or she grows up). Or maybe an adult member of one of your families will adopt the child. Of course the decision belongs to you and your girlfriend, but this is a time your parents can support you emotionally no matter what happens.
I know this isn't what you are asking, but you may not have a choice in whether you stay together with your girlfriend or not. IF you want to be a parent but not alone, look into different kinds of adoption.
2006-10-14 17:03:00 · answer #6 · answered by sarcastro1976 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you know your first stupid mistake was having sex BEFORE you were married. i am glad that you talked her out of killing the baby but if neither of you can take of the child then give it up for adoption. Both of you need to start looking for some good families to give the baby a proper family. then while your gf is pregnant still help take care of her. support her in every way you can no matter how small. be with her until the baby is born. your support and care of her and finding a future for the unborn kid is a big sign of responsibility on your part and maybe your gf will see that. that would be what any clear thinking adult would do and do not forget you are just as much to blame as she is for creating a life you two have no idea on how to raise. Together? Hardly, if she wants to toss the baby on you and you do not want to do it alone than that's a sure sign you are Both irresponsible and unequipped to raise another human being together or apart.
2006-10-14 17:02:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
She will form a bond with the baby while it grows inside of her. And then when she gives birth to it, holds the baby in her arms and bonds with it after giving birth...there's NO way she will give it up!! Give her some time...She will come back to you and ask for help. Be there for her during Lamaze classes, things like that. She will want you to help her out with the baby and YOU WILL be good parents TOGETHER.
But you also need to think about staying in school-continuing your education. Getting help from your parent's. And getting jobs to support yourselves. Your life is going to change drastically in the next year and you will need each other. I hope you intend on being there for her!! And don't think about marriage just because she is pregnant either because that's not a good reason to marry.
I wish you both a lot of luck!!
2006-10-14 17:05:22 · answer #8 · answered by Jenna 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow ! This is tough..........You don't often hear of the mom giving up baby,,but I think in this case, you offered your support and girlfriend found an easy out...Plus the fact you are both so young...........At this point, you both.need to talk to a counselor outside of the family...Not to exclude them , because Mom and Dads have good ideas also, but this is big ! And a third party doesn't have any love strings attached...andhe won't be biased....And Dad to be, I can see why you would want to be good parents together, because a child needs a mom and a dad.......Find a family counselor that none of you know, but can check out somehow,.so that they have a good record ..This is not going to be easy for anyone,,,,,,,,,,,,,,You may decide the best thing for your child is to( A.)Give child up..Or ( B,) keep your child.....Thoughts and prayers are with both families, because everyone is affected.........Good luck toall
2006-10-14 17:19:05 · answer #9 · answered by mom of a boy and girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may change her mind once the baby is born.
But if she doesn't, then she wouldn't be a good mother anyway.
You aren't just a teen but you are a man who made a child, who is going to be a dad.
Sex is for reproduction of a species. In the future be responsible and use protection. Don't leave it up to the females.
2006-10-14 17:09:41 · answer #10 · answered by MoonWoman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋