I have been dating someone for over 3 months. He has been burned from previous divorce and has lost all security and self confidence in our relationship. constantly thinking I am cheating on him or deceiving him as his wife did. I don't know how to stop being punished for her mistakes.
2006-10-14 16:31:39 · 16 answers · asked by brown_eyed_girl_atx 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you can't only he can!
Sorry but it's the truth
Tell him or print this out for him
Coping.org
Good luck
the site is free
M ad luv
2006-10-14 16:34:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, this is what you tell him and be very sincere cause he has been burned and more than likely he is not going to believe you. Tell him what you really feel put everything on the table be totally honest if he is receptive that is great but if he still has trust issues then explain to him that you have already told him the god's honest truth and if he still feels this way he might want to go seek some counseling by himself. (That is taking into concideration that you are telling him the truth and nothing but the truth So help you God)
2006-10-14 16:36:57 · answer #2 · answered by postal_marg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You Don't..
Tough but simple. You cannot live taking punishment for other people's actions. He's been burned, it wasn't his fault. But it wasn't your either.
Each of us are responsible for our own security and self-esteem. You cannot give it to him. To think otherwise is a temporary illusion.
If this guy is still crushed by the ex, then he's not ready for you. Really. He's got to get his emotional act back together before he can love you fearlessly and build the relationship we all seek.
Good luck. You have a tough choice to make.
2006-10-14 16:40:08 · answer #3 · answered by lmcbuilder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its going to take a very long time. I am engaged to a man who was divorced. We have been engaged & living together for a year and together for a total of two...that is as far as we have got. No wedding date and no real future plans and he has been divorced for 4 years...married for 8-no kids. Its going to take some time but each man is different along with why they have been hurt. If you love him then hang in there. Some times I get frustrated and other times I am just happy that we are in love.
2006-10-14 16:35:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can not give something back to someone you did not take from them is the first thing.. Issues of this nature have to be handled by the hurt party. How you overcome these obstacle may be something for a professional to assist your boyfriend with and believe me these issues must be addressed if your relationship is to be a healthy one. Suggest counselling and do a lot of praying.
2006-10-14 16:51:54 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is something he needs to work on himself. You can't do that for him. You can give him as much love as you can but then tell him you have your limits. If he will keep suspecting you for cheating, you will have to leave. Tell him he is with you now and not the ex. Sitting down and chatting about this is the way to go. Get things out in the open, it helps a great deal.
2006-10-14 16:36:02 · answer #6 · answered by brown_sugah064 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would bet you he felt that way long before the last girlfriend. Ask him about his mother, see what that relationship is like. You may have to just pass on this guy. He may be looking for someone to cheat on him and deceive him to be able to keep going with his victim identity.
2006-10-14 16:34:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm kinda in same boat but its a stressful situation and you really can't do anything to "convince" this man your innocent, if you can handle that type of justifying yourself and fights, then more power to you, but if your like me, i can only be me, and if I say something then that's what it is,no lies necessary. I can't tolerate being accused of jack s--t cuz I know for fact that only the guilty accuse.Good Luck and set the man straight there are a few good women left!
2006-10-14 16:41:13 · answer #8 · answered by neshlov 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. He needs to grow back into the man he was or can be. He is not available to you for a relationship. Pretty much it will not work out. You will end up hurt and "damaged" from a relationship like this.
Good luck
2006-10-14 16:39:44 · answer #9 · answered by B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU can't. One of my best friends was in this situation, she even moved in with him-it didn't get better-only worse and she ended up leaving and losing 3 yrs of her life because he couldn't trust her. She NEVER cheated but because his ex wife was a whore all women became whores.
2006-10-14 16:38:10 · answer #10 · answered by rwl_is_taken 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you ever thought that maybe he is a jealous person and thats what drove his wife to cheating in the first place? just a thought. theres nothing you can do that will make him trust you more. thats issues he has to explore and understand why he feels that way.
2006-10-14 16:36:34 · answer #11 · answered by marcvialli 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋