My dad became very sick a few days ago and cannot get out of the bed. I came over this morning to take care of him. Since I am not strong to lift him out of the bed, I had to give him a sponge bath. However, while I am bathing his "secrets", he got an erection. I was so embarrased but I didn't say anything. How do I wash his "secrets" without him doing this? I am a 19 year old female and my dad is 44.
2006-10-14 16:22:54 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First of all, I have been taking care of my father for 5 years, so I know many of the challenges associated with it. It can be a very emotionally challenging thing to do, but also very rewarding. About your recent "problem"... first of all, knowing that the common biology of the human male is helpful. In a "sexually healthy" male, there are many things that bring about an erection, whether they want it to, or not. It is worst during puberty for boys, but to an extent, never goes away. It is also worse for bachelor, or widowed men, who do not have active sex lives. One of the things that can cause an unwanted erection is touch. Especially very light, delicate touch. I bet he was very embarrassed by the physical reaction he had no control over. If he has any ability whatsoever, it may help to allow him to wash his own genitals, while you wash the rest of him.... if not, wearing medical exam gloves can be helpful, as well as remembering while washing, that any physical reaction is 100% biology. If it is something that really bothers you, you should not be ashamed to ask his Dr. to refer a home health aide to assist with sponge baths. Remember, your dad would only want you to help him with what you are comfortable doing. And, he would probably appreciate you being honest enough to admit it if you are uncomfortable, and seeking help from the Dr. Good luck!
2006-10-14 16:49:08 · answer #1 · answered by lady_looonglegs 1 · 4⤊ 3⤋
Here's what nurses and medical staff do: Talk to them about something, anything, and look them in the eye while they are washing them. Ignore the erection. It is a natural reaction. If he is sick, if you are caretaking, if there is nothing sexual or abusing going on, then its ok. If he starts making advances either because of illness (stroke, dementia etc) or emotional problems (incestuous desires) put a stop to it. If you can't then have someone else give him a bath. Tell them why.
2006-10-18 12:40:52 · answer #2 · answered by geocache22 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Uhhhhhh.....
Okay, as difficult as that is to deal with, I think it's normal, since an erection can happen with touch but no sexual thoughts. Even newborn baby boys getting diaper changes get erections, based purely on the physical touch of the area.
It would make me uncomfortable, and I think I would just shell out the money to have a home-nurse come to wash him, but if it doesn't bother you, as long as you know it's normal, than I have a lot of respect for you (not that many daughters are kind enough to spongebathe their father when he's sick).
2006-10-14 16:35:59 · answer #3 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
just do it and don t mind it ... it will be over when it is over. why make a deal of this ? care giving is a lot more than what is commonly imagined.
2016-06-08 20:35:27 · answer #4 · answered by Kumar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you have got to be one of the most 'getting yourself in a awkward situtation' person ever
well, for starters, you dont have to wash down there, and second, he's your dad so........., third, where the heck are real nurses to do this kinda stuff anyway
2006-10-15 10:30:51 · answer #5 · answered by See ya later aligator 4 · 0⤊ 6⤋
That's kind of weird. Me personally? I would never do it again nor could I look at him in the same way again! Help him out, but make him wash himself down there! It'll be easy and fast even if he is ill!
2006-10-14 16:37:12 · answer #6 · answered by Princess Kellie 2 · 0⤊ 5⤋
Doesn't he have any use of his hands? Make him wash his private areas!! (When you're not in the room.) Why are YOU doing this??!!? I could NEVER do that. I would ask my mom or a home health aide to do it before I could. If you have a brother, make him do it even!
2006-10-14 16:37:23 · answer #7 · answered by Jenna 4 · 0⤊ 5⤋
LOL.. i think this is the craziest question i've ever seen on here
beautiful!
but umm, seriously now... if your dad's not raping you, i guess it's not that big of a deal. maybe he's sexually attracted to you, but if you're 19 and hot, maybe he can't help it. sexual desire doesn't go away just because someone happens to be a family member.... but unless you're wanting to have sex with him, maybe you should get someone else to do this chore!
2006-10-14 16:45:53 · answer #8 · answered by painfullyaverage 3 · 0⤊ 5⤋
Im surprised your husband is letting u wash his "secrets"
DUMMY
2006-10-14 18:05:57 · answer #9 · answered by Tina 3 · 0⤊ 6⤋
THAT IS JUST SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!! what is wrong with him? can he move??? If he can let him do it. Or maybe is a unconditioned reflex. depends of the type of sickness he has......talk to your mom and a Dr, if you like!!!
2006-10-14 16:42:05 · answer #10 · answered by scorpionbeat 2 · 0⤊ 7⤋