She's horrible. She tells hims what sort of pillows and sheets to buy so she can be more comfortable when she comes to our house just to take a nap (he just bought a new bed). She makes fun of him and calls him stupid, she's always accusing him of cheating, even if front of our whole family. Since I'm an English major, she asked me to write her term papers for her if she paid me, she lied to my brother and told him she just wanted to be tutored. How stupid does she think we are? Because she is my brother's girlfriend, I tried to be nice and offered to tutor her and she only had 1 session. Very obvious that's not what she wanted. There's more, but I'm not going to type it.
My brother has dated psychoes before, but he's never the one to break up with them because he has such low self esteem, and then he feels even worse when the relationship ends.
How can I get him to realize that she's a ***** and to dump her? I'm so tired of seeing him get treated that way and having her in my house a
2006-10-14 16:15:42 · 12 answers · asked by Artemiseos 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
An old cliché and sorry for giving it, but it's the segue I want to use;
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
Unfortunately this won't help him right *now*.
Lemme explain.
You're a great sister! You're a great *person*. We should all be so lucky to have someone like you in our life in *any* capacity!
You are trying to help him, but for now he is all hung up on this woman. He's a 'host', she's a leech. You cannot separate a leech from its host without blood or damage. You cannot do a thing for him until he's broken up from this relationship. You can't have a hand in doing this either. You are going to have to sit back relatively idly and let things play out, and yes it will be hard to have to just watch it all.
Let me break off from this thought a moment.
If you interfere and cost him this relationship he will (or could) resent you, and he will resist any 'counseling' you offer subsequent to that. You can't really help him until he is by himself; away from this relationship. He will (or could) think you don't like *her* (which you don't) and think you are just meddling in his life and costing him 'love' and a relationship just because of your dislike for this woman.
If, on the other hand, he loses this relationship, and *then* you approach him then that's where my cliché comes in. You will have to find a way to show him that he has no self-esteem, and how to get it (feed him for a lifetime). Once he gets this, women like her, the leeches of the female population (and there are a LOT of them) have no power or influence over him ever again. Even if you could get rid of this woman, it wouldn't really do him any good in the long run unless he gets his self-esteem back.
I don't know that talking to him is even a good idea, or he will know you don't like her, and any 'troubles' will point fingers at you as a trouble maker. Can't you recruit friends, or your parents, or someone else to help him see what's going on? If this woman is shred enough, and she probably is, she will realize all this stuff I'm telling you and use it against you to her own gain. Women like her are shallow, self-centered people, but they can be shrewd.
So, like I was saying a minute ago, you will have to almost sit back and watch all this play out, between she and he, and do your best to find others to help you out getting the message across to him. He's got to get out of this relationship before you can really help him tho. Once he does, then you have the task of coaching him in getting some confidence and self-esteem. Otherwise he is going to be stuck with useless, hurtful women like this all his life.
You're a gem, and you have a lot of work cut out for you. Good luck!
2006-10-15 00:38:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you interfere, it will drive them closer together and they will be fighting for their love. Do some devious things instead. Be sure those sheets are on your bed or in the wash when she comes over. If she asks for tutoring, arrange it to be at the dining room table where the rest of the family is within ear-shot. Then ask specifically what she wants to review.
Be nice always so you are not the bad guy but ensure you don't let her control anyone.
Be sure to show up on their dates.
2006-10-14 16:19:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your brother what you think, be very caring, and let him know that you will always be there for him. Eventually he will break up with her because a person can only take so much of a bad thing. So until that day just be supportive.
2006-10-14 16:20:11 · answer #3 · answered by Windy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
eventually psycho-hose beasts, go away. My best friend always seems to attract them. However I would lay some ground rules at the house if everyone can't stand her, she should be banned from the house, your brother might be angry at first but maybe he will realizes that she's no good for him.
last ditch effort you could have a knock-down drop cat fight in the front yard
2006-10-14 16:21:20 · answer #4 · answered by Chickengoddess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He thinks that this is how relationships are supposed to be, that this is all he's entitled to, no matter who he's with. He needs to realize that he deserves better.
I was treated like that in my first marriage, and I felt it was always my fault, that I needed to change, even though she was the one being disrespectful to me. From talking to others, I realized that I deserved better, and I left. Smartest thing I ever did. You can get your brother to see the light too.
2006-10-14 16:21:34 · answer #5 · answered by James L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who your brother dates is none of your business but you don't have to help a horrible person who treats your brother like dirt. Tell him it hurts you to see him treated that way. Maybe you know someone nice you could fix him up with. He makes poor choices on his own.
2006-10-14 16:19:08 · answer #6 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same problem with my sister...we can't help. they can only help themselves. they only see what they want to see, one day he will grow up and realize how much he's been walked all over in the previous years!
2006-10-14 16:41:15 · answer #7 · answered by Princess Kellie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set down with him and describe what she is doing to your whole family. Hopefully he will come to his senses and dump this biotch.
2006-10-14 16:18:44 · answer #8 · answered by tko43078 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your brother the folpowing "Your gf may be hot (is she?), but she's a f**** phsyco, dump her, she calls you stupid, imagine if you get married,....." something like that that will make him be scare of her. Once they brake up, plan some nasty trick for her and make fun of her.
2006-10-14 16:19:26 · answer #9 · answered by R B 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
help your bro to improve his level of self-esteem. then, tell him the truth about that b*tch. tell him that he deserved a better girl!
2006-10-14 16:20:43 · answer #10 · answered by immortal1983 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋