I can remember being about 14 and of course having the smart mouthed teenager attitude that I did at the time I announced one night at dinner that I couldnt wait to become 18 so then they(my parents) couldnt control me anymore and my dad hit the roof saying as long as I lived under his roof I would be subjected to any and all house rules including being grounded.Do you believe that 18 year olds should still be under parental control? I ended up moving out and becoming a parent at age 18(well almost 19)so I never had to deal with this issue.
2006-10-14 14:40:59 · 21 answers · asked by Sweetie1204 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
As a parent of 4 (ages 4 boy, 5 girl, 10 girl, and basiclly 12 boy) I have found out that there is really no controll. It is parent says this, kid either listens or doesn't. Good and bad consequences to which ever choice you make, but really never any true control. However if you are under my roof and you are being raised, supported financially or whatever you will follow my rules or find a place where you are happy by the age of 18. That's it. Don't relent or give in. No matter what age they still need guidance and stucture. But this is also a transition age from child to adult, some rules and things must change as the child does but only as the child grows in maturity not age. With a health dose of love everyday and just be there for them, that is about all you can do. God Bless
2006-10-14 14:56:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that you are always a child regardless of your age if you have good parents. At 18 people feel that they are adults and have no idea what being an adult means.(there are some adults that also dont know what it means) If the 18 year old is still in the parents house their should be an level of respect from both sides. The parents should allow some freedom for the child to make his/her own mistakes. If they child takes the freedom to far of course the parent is gonna do their job(be a parent) A lot of kids move out at or by 18 so that they can have their freedom , but some quickly come back realizing they weren't ready for the responsibility freedom gives
2006-10-14 14:51:31 · answer #2 · answered by HERE4U 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Under a parents "Control" no.... But subject to house rules if living in my house, yes.. At 18 a child can always leave and find thier own living accomidations should they not like rules in my home...
My 19 year old daughter still lives at home she is subject to rules such as..
1. Give us a general time when you expect to be home if you are going to be more than 30 minutes later than the time you said call us with aan updated estimate so we don't have to imagine you dead in a ditch somewhere... Rinse and repeat...
2. Give us a general idea of where you will be and if plans change call us with updated info about where you will be... In case something happens and we need to reach you in an emergency...
3. If you use something with a yellow sticky note on it replace the item (yellow sticky notes mean an item is for a purpose i.e. an item for a planned meal or an item meant for some occassion... Usually the day of the meal or occassion (fri, sat. mon. etc) is on the sticky note so we all know when the item needs to be in place for the intended use...
4. If an emergency occurs and your plans need to change for the good of the family they change no questions asked... i.e. Recently hubby and I had to go out of town for 4 days due to his grandmother taking a bad fall our daughter was planning to go on a trip with her friends but remained home to care for her younger siblings instead..
5. As long as you live in the house you will have household chores that are your responsibility get them done or forfeit the $15.00 an hour "Mom's Maid Fee" if I have to do them instead...
While the rules for her are different than the rules for her younger siblings she is in a different time in her life when she is awarded more freedoms because she has earned them by proving she can handle them... She always has the option of moving out should the rules cramp her style she is over 18 and technically an adult....
2006-10-14 16:41:58 · answer #3 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Control? Absolutely! You have worked hard all your life to pay for your home. Someone thinks they can live there without your say on any matter. Listen, if you give an inch they will take a mile. If you allow this person to do as they wish you could lose that home because of them. It may start out as I can come home anytime I wish but it will end up with I can store my drugs here if I wish, or I can move my underage lover in at my discretion. Next thing you know you are homeless, & your kids just on probation. Don't even think about relinquishing your hold on authority. It's your castle be the King!
2006-10-14 15:00:19 · answer #4 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow -- what an attitude this question reflects --
I would have to say as a Long-Term Single Parent that the issue is NOT one of control -- but ...
the issue is one of RESPECT for all the parent has provided to raise you, nurture you, provide for you, care for you ---
and if an 18 year old does NOT want to RESPECT that parent for what they are providing (and it is the PARENT's HOME -- and NOT the teenagers -- the Parent IS paying all the bills) then ...
the 18 year old SHOULD move out and take on their Adult Responsibilities (and Consequences) -- meaning set up their own household, pay all their own bills, and deal with all the problems their life choices make for them.
2006-10-14 16:25:36 · answer #5 · answered by sglmom 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, not control. I do feel that there has to be boundaries and rules when that child who is 18 years or older is still living at home. Of course it's still the parents house so their has to be rules. If they don't like it, they should move out!
2006-10-14 14:47:42 · answer #6 · answered by LaAlicia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO
If you hadn't done your job as a parent when they were younger it's to late now. I would never ground, or punish my child in any way after they are 18. ya of course they are still my baby's. But If they are being a royal pain in the @$$ then I will kick them out on there own.
OH ya, they still have to follow the house rules. Just because there 18 doesn't mean they own the place. They still have to watch there mouths, help around the house, and be respectful. If they can't do these things, there OUT!
2006-10-14 21:59:20 · answer #7 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If i had an 18 year old at home I would expect them to follow house rules, maintain a job and contribute towards bills, mortgage/rent etc. It's cheaper than living on one's own. I would not attempt to ground them for infractions however. The consequence to repeated offenses would be to kick them out!! They're 18 after all.
2006-10-14 14:45:49 · answer #8 · answered by Lori 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to let them make a lot of their own decisions at that age but you can set some limits. Obviously issues like drug use and tobacco can be banned and anything that costs you money needs to be discussed.
I have a 19 year old. She is going to school. She is allowed the use of our car for work or school but not parties. We did cancel our cell phone contract because she ran the bill up too high.
2006-10-14 15:07:18 · answer #9 · answered by redunicorn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no matter what age you are if you live in your parents house or anyone elses for that matter then you must abide by there rules so in a way you can control an 18 year but just as you did they usually move out.
2006-10-14 14:45:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋