I'm 30 and was lucky enough to have parents that gave me lots of opportunities so that I could be successful, but there were still lots of times when I almost ruined things (when I was a teenager etc.). Obviously most parents try to give their kids lots of opportunties and have high expectations of them, but I think this is more prevalent in the Asian culture (we are Asian). Also, my Mom, despite having been a Psychology professor when she was younger, was a home-maker when we were kids, raising us and running my Dad's business. I am already 30 and make a lot more money than my husband - as in - we basically live solely on my income as his is minimal..... so I think I'll never be able to have kids.... and give them the kind of life and commitment that my parents gave me... and when I see so many of my friends (that I know make way more than their husband/boyfriends but still less than I make) or just other women out and about that look really really young, I just wonder...
2006-10-14 13:53:58 · 12 answers · asked by Mishy 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Don't people out there realize what a tremendous and almost sacred responsibility it is to be raising another human being to be a decent, happy, and successful person? Why do so many people just go into this decision so lightly -- like the infamous "oops" pregnancy etc.?
2006-10-14 13:55:19 · update #1
I know income doesn't necessary determine how well you raise your kids but the thing is that I don't think I'll ever want to have kids because it just seems like my husband will never start earning the kind of money I make and thus, I wouldn't be able to be a stay at home mom. Even though I have no desire for kids right now sometimes I really really resent that he doesn't even make half of what I make. I just wish I had a husband that made way more than me - it seems the natural order of things anyway - that's the 'old school' way my Dad and Uncle were at least...
2006-10-14 14:05:33 · update #2
Nido - I am totally with you with the way things are going in the world today as another deterrent from having kids!
2006-10-14 14:08:18 · update #3
Also, when I see adults with bad orthodontia, I think to myself: "God - didn't they have parents?!" -- because my parents wouldn't have made me have to grow up like that... Yeah, people say, "well maybe some parents can't afford to get braces etc," but I just think: "hey - if you can't afford to raise your children properly why on earth would you have them?!"
2006-10-14 16:03:45 · update #4
I hear you, sister! I am not willing to make the sacrifices that it takes to raise a child (it's a big responsibility), and I don't want to make them. I also have serious concerns about this crappy world, so I refuse to have children and bring them into this world. People act like I'm selfish, but it's just the opposite. I have made a rational, selfless and loving choice.
2006-10-14 14:03:28 · answer #1 · answered by nido_tr3s 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to be a stay at home mom to be a great parent. I stay home most of the time, only working 12 hours a week but if I did work full time, I could still give my kids a wonderful and happy life. Also, income has almost nothing to do with giving a child a good life and lots of opportunities. I grew up poor. I am a math professor now and my parents gave me everything I needed even though we had nothing. I'm glad I can buy things for my kids and send them to private schools but if I couldn't, I know I would still be a great parent.
2006-10-14 14:00:27 · answer #2 · answered by Mada 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean. I don't understand why people have kids when they can't take care of them. My sister in law has five kids by five different dads. Every time she got with a guy she had a kid with them. One was a one night stand. And two were from cheating. She just has kids like it is nothing. She quit her job and starting working as a stripper and now is on drugs. It seems like everyone has to do everything for her and her kids. She doens't do anything for her kids. She will pawn them off on any one who will watch them. And when she has them all she does is complain about how bad they are. It drives me insane.
Having a child is a gift. My brother told me once you have a child nothing else in the world matters not even your self. The child will always come first.
I hate that people have children and don't take the time to take care of them
2006-10-14 14:19:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm 22 and bless to know that even though I don't have kids I know that its not easy to raise a child. I think that they feel that its so easy when you watching some one else child that it will be easy for them to and its not. Having a baby cost alot of money and these young girls out here don't realize that. They also might feel that they have someone like their parents to help them or do all the work so its not a big deal. If they know that they have to do it all on their own and know that its not easy they will give it a second chance.
2006-10-14 14:08:47 · answer #4 · answered by dadyslilgirl5377 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think with your being so responsible, you would make a good parent. What about your husband being a stay at home dad?
My son is the best thing in my life, but it is also very hard to be a parent. There is constant worry about whether you are doing the right thing.
2006-10-14 15:31:36 · answer #5 · answered by Margarita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of my kids were.....ooops. and let me tell you,,they were (and are) the biggest deal in my life. was 18 for the first one. worked my butt off to support her, (sperm donor not around) and got married when she was 4 1/2. to a Filipino DDS. 11 yrs later, had another baby, not planned. God just saw that we needed her and sent us the most precious baby. She is now 5 and she knows how hard her daddy works for her and to make sure she is taken care of. I know it is sad how some people turn on the tv, plop their kids in front of it and leave it at that,
kids need to play , they need time with mommy and daddy and not material things, which my little one is learning, (she was very spoiled in the begining and we are getting better at saying no :) )
I completely agree with you. babies should be cherished and TAUGHT how to be a productive member of society. Volunteer, donate, help your fellow man. Work hard, don't have to be a brain surgeon, just earn an Honest living and always do your best.
God Bless
2006-10-14 14:02:04 · answer #6 · answered by schmoopie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are like that but not everyone is. I think those people who cast aside their kids just can't take responsibility for themselves, so why would they raise their kids responsibly?
Have you ever considered letting your husband stay at home with the kids? I know two families that do that and it works well.
2006-10-14 14:31:44 · answer #7 · answered by janinenc2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the very responsible way of looking at it. Many people just do the "deed," have the kid, and THEN think about how to go about affording it. That's actually a good thing, because if it weren't the case, I wouldn't be here, myself, and neither would a lot of my friends.
2006-10-14 13:56:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely agree. a lot of human beings omit the right for babies birthdays. i think of that's fully ridiculous that human beings pass into debt over a childs birthday. As a determine, I truthfully have frequently positioned on invites "no provides please". the youngsters do no longer want that plenty. My little ones are already spoiled (first grandchildren) and that i do no longer prefer them studying that as quickly as human beings come over they get a cutting-edge. optimistically your sister in regulation will smart up and donate fairly some the toys.
2016-10-02 07:35:08 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a huge task and if you don't want to do it, then don't. I'm also in my early 30's and am often criticized for choosing not to have children but I know it is for the best that I do not.
2006-10-14 14:01:45 · answer #10 · answered by Martin523 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋