My and my Step dad were fighting(I wasn't really fighting) and then my Mom took my side. Then I guess my Dad realized he was wrong and he got pissed and didnt let me go to the show i was going to go to tomorrow.
So why do they get mad when they are wrong?
2006-10-14 13:24:42 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Why do (many) parents get mad when shown wrong? There's different reasons. I'm going to give you a few possible ones.
All of us at times feel embarassed when proven wrong. Some people may react inappropriately with anger when shown mistakes because they have a need to be right. (This attitude is unhealthy, but too common.) Our culture especially raises men to be status-conscious, so they may be more prone to embarassment when a young person, whom they may view as "lesser" shows them up. Being shown up by one's child can especially tough. (The parent may remember all too well how much the child once had to be taught.) Rather than face embarassment and admit error, some people get angry. It's not a healthy reaction. If your step-father or mother cannot bring him/herself to apologize for over-reacting, there's a problem with weak self-esteem. Society seems to expect that parents in general, and men especially, always appear right when it comes to kids. (Some people feel like they have to be right in ALL areas in life.) Such expectations are unbalanced--and silly, actually--since we're all imperfect and often are "flying by the seats of our pants" in situations. But "must be better-than" attitudes become ingrained in people by upbringing and society's pervasive messages. When people subscribe to unrealistic expectations for themselves, they absolutely know when they don't meet them. They become embarassed and maybe angry when they naturally fail to be perfect.
(And to kk kandy9: Yes, parents want their kids to look up to them. Eventually the kids see the parents are only human, so that hope crumbles away anyway.
Most likely, your stepdad felt ganged-up on. Since he's your stepfather, he may feel like he has less "Say" when it comes to you than your mom does. This sort of uncomfortable feeling may have caused him to feel angry and become punitive rather than deal rationally with the situation. He didn't act appropriately, if it happened as you say.
It's really better if two never gang up on one, family members included. You two probably would have been able to work this out just fine between you. Your mom should just have stayed out of it, possibly approaching one or the other of you later--when things are calm. But that should be done ONLY if the way the issue was settled creates some unforseen problem. We set a rule in our family when our daughter was a teenager: "No two against one". The person (whoever it is) who is not initially involved in a disagreement must keep silent. It can be tough for the third person to withdraw, but it cuts down on problems between all parties. Letting the parent involved handle the issue shows everyone that each parent trusts their partner's judgement. (Sometimes I have to bite my mashed-together lips--lol!) This method works well for us.
(One exception: Some families are abusive. Someone MUST intervene in cases of abuse, calling authorities if necessary. Everyone in the family needs to be safe.)
2006-10-17 22:12:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well your mom took your side because your her child. and kids are never right. they have so much to say and never make a point. you should not do that. that makes trouble between your mom and step dad. i have a step dad and never did that. if i was told to do some thing, no matter how much i didn't want to . i did it. and now as an adult we get along great. he maybe my step dad. but to me he's dad.
2006-10-14 13:32:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since parents are older than their children, they believe they have more authority. Because of this, when someone of "lesser authority" proves them wrong, it's an insult to them. Think of it as a kindergartener beating you at something.
2013-11-04 13:08:15 · answer #3 · answered by Ruth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most parents don't like it when their child corrects them.. My mom did me like that when well.. a few weeks ago even though I don't live her no more.. When I was a little girl, I would sould country.. But now.. I sound normal but a litttle country when I'm around people I know.. But since my mom talks like this, "That ain't right.." I correct her like.."Mom, it's that's not right.." She get mad and kick me out of her house.. That's my life story..
2006-10-14 13:31:21 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Chamillitary Amberleé♥ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm still 12,but I think parents get mad at you when you probe them wrong because they love you,and I guess they wan't themselves to be right so you will look up to them.
2006-10-14 13:29:26 · answer #5 · answered by vball.gal 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Cuz they don't ever like you to usurp thier authority....i think it's pretty childish if you ask me because no one knows everything! I guess thats just how some parents are....I would talk to him about it.
2006-10-14 13:28:07 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Thang 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Adults don't like when kids prove them wrong because they feel they should know more than their children. They feel like we are controlling them and acting like know it all's.
2006-10-14 13:38:04 · answer #7 · answered by Ebony 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am not a parent but I think they love their children alot... I guess
2006-10-14 13:27:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he didn't appreciate you jumping into something that was between the two of them.
2006-10-14 13:28:14 · answer #9 · answered by Susan M 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nice reply St.Anger.
I don't get mad either. I am who I am.
2006-10-14 13:27:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋