any parent out there who has lost a child[adult]?how do you get on with living?

Question

i have faith god will help me a day at a time.i am raising my daughter's daughter age 10,so i will do my best to do what i must do for her.she was my only daughter.i have 4 sons.they have helped me to go on.also 8 other grand kids.my husband is very passive but i love him even though he doesn't say how he feels like i say how i feel.i know everyone grieves in their own way.

my daughter passed in jan.she was 32.my 4mo old great grandson passed in dec.we have another great grandchild due in may from my grand daughter who lost her son.he was our 1st great grandchild.then my husband has open heart surgery in mar.he is doing well.my sister passed in sept05.my daughter'd boyfriend was found dead in his house in june.he had a stroke less than 2 weeks after my daughter passed.laid there for over 1 week.he got better after surgery and than in late may he had his spleen removed.he went home and his mom and niece found him dead 12 hrs.i know this has been a bad last year.please pray for us.

Answer 1

I feel your emptiness I lost my son 11yrs ago and I still feel the pain .However I have two lovely granddaughters and he lives on in them and my heart and spirit.I can see him visualize him sometimes in July around his birthday I find myself crying or even feeling empty.His daughter the baby girl who is now 10 will call me and say "Nai na" that's what they all call me" did you wish my father happy birthday" I'll answer her" I sure did baby girl" and she says" me too".She never seen him she wasn't born when he passed but i have told her so many good stories and she has seen so many pictures until its like she knew him and spend time with him.We are really close and so was my son and I. No one could say anything wrong about his mother not even my mother and she stands strong in my defense also.Although your daughter has gone in the flesh she will live on within you and her child.I extend my prayers of strength and blessings to you and your family.You all need to form a unbreakable support system for each other and her daughter.Remember we are all here on borrowed time from the LORD.We don't know when our time will be up. We just have to keep on living and enjoying all that he has given us until we die.

Answer 2

Support Groups @ griefnet.org
GriefNet provides online support those dealing with grief and loss issues on ... ©Copyright GriefNet.org, All Rights Reserved ...griefnet.org/support/sg2.html
I found this site helpful, anonymous, and categorized into groups so one losing a spouse has a discussion grp, one lost a kid,baby,due to a SIDS a certian grp, a teen lost to a motor vehicle accident has a different grp etc etc.
Men can experience grief in much different ways and they appear to move on more quickly-that is an illusion, but they put up a good front-making the woman think they are perhaps cold and unfelling-its usually not the case...look into it.

Answer 3

So sorry to hear of your major grief. It is a saddness that even in time will not go away. Everyday for the rest of your life, you will think of your precious child that is gone. Doing what you are doing is a wonderful blessing. At least the sweet little grandchild is not with strangers. Your daughter is looking down on you and thankful that you can take over . The special care you continue to give will help ease your heartache. So stand strong. Remember that God doesn't give us anymore then we can handle. The death of a child , is awful. One of the worse types of grief. Think about all the good times and care you gave to your only daughter. I know that you do. We all have to die, and your daughters early death, was meant to be. We never know what hour God comes to take us home. So we have to be ready. Our children are just loaned to us. I was so selfish, I did not want to let my child go. But I had no control over that. Even after all these years, I sit and can re-live my little boys death. And I grieve, like it was yesterday. It is awful and then I give Thanks for having him, but many time I asked , Why Lord, Why ? You can not let this death , destroy you. You must go on. Now you have a new assignment. You can do all things, through Christ who stengthens you. One great comfort to me, was to hold the Bible and pray. It is instant peace. Jesus says: Think of Me often and I will give you PEACE !! Do this and I know He will help ease your Grief ! Take care and may God bless you and yours, Always !!

Answer 4

I lost my 21 year old daughter in a car wreak 9 years ago.
luckily my daughter was a believer, she used the computer to do missionary work, talking to people all over the world.
we had one son and one daughter, it was hard, and we were only able to hold on because we knew the we would see her in heaven.
after 9 years we still miss her, but the pain has softened.
there is no easy answer to how you get on with living, you just take it one day at a time and let god help you through it one day at a time.
by the way I still cry when I talk about her.
she was wonderful.

Answer 5

Wow, my heart goes out to you. I lost a brother some years back, and I saw what my parents went thru. They both handled it differently like you and your husband are. My mom needed to talk about it all the time, my dad never hardly. It had to be pried out of him. My mom grieved for years, and never did get over it, she died before she could. She had to be held up on both sides at the funeral, she could barely make it. This is the hardest thing in the world I believe, to lose a child. This is not the natural way.
One day at a time, my mom used to say. I will pray for you, the Lord knows who you are and what you need. Keep on keeping on for the child. You can tell her wonderful things about her mother, she's hurting too isn't she? Wow, you're quite a mother to take the child into your home, the Lord will bless you for it.

Answer 6

I am sorry for your loss. I have not lost an adult child, but my friend Helen has. It has been very difficult for her, there is no denying that. Important, signifigant dates come and go, and it always renews the pain. As her friend, I see her or call her as those dates come up, just to be there for her. She is a wonderful person, she was a wonderful mother to her son. I will tell you this: time helps. It never cures the loss of course, but it helps. Helen and I can laugh about things, we can talk about her son and what a wonderful man he was, even how we miss him. I guess the best thing is to just grit your teeth and know you will get thru this, even tho it is so hard. You probably have friends, they will probably help you as I have tried to help my friend Helen. Rest assured, there is a loving God and your dear child is warmly comforted and safe and loved. Peace to you.

Answer 7

I haven't loss in death, but loses hurt, and it may take time, I just would like to say, I am sorry for your loss, you will see her again, God has her, I know she's doing very well, Heaven is a happy place, that keeps her busy, once you arrive there, you do not want to come back, perhaps just a visit back home, or to give a message, usually it's not to worry, I am in a good place.

I'll pray for you and your daughter, for peace at heart, knowing, comforting............ God bless

Answer 8

Bless you, kat.

I haven't lost a child, but I am friends with 2 women who have (1 to still birth, 1 to a drowning accident). I am constantly amazed at how their faith rules their lives.

The only explanation they've ever given for their fortitude is being able to lay their burdens at the feet of Jesus. I can only hope that I would fare as well as them.

Give it to Jesus. May sound trite, but it's the only thing I've ever seen work effectively.

Answer 9

Well, you just do - I don't know how to explain it.

I wish healing and peace for you and for your family.