I was once in love online with a terminally ill girl. We talked voice for hours and we shared many laughs. We wished we could be together at least once in our lifes but knew that would never happen. It tore me apart and I wished I could die with her. I cried at work, I cried at night until I could not take it anymore. We broke it off.
I try, tried, to be her online friend still. She is so lonely, depressed and online is all she has. Her latest words sent me in distress, she said to me: "I just wanted some body that would stand by me through anything and maybe something to look forward too or dream about". "But now its like a bog black hole going nowhere".
What should I do? It pains me so much because I know I caused her this pain. I feel guilty. I wish I could be there for her but all we ever had was online. It tore me apart in an already difficult world for me. I wished I could see her but I can not get a hold of her when it is needed.
What can I tell her? What can I do?
2006-10-14 13:10:47 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
I'm a Psychiatric Nurse Educator who has taught nursing for over 25 years. I also lost each of my parents to terminal cancer and nursed them as well as held their hands at the time of their last breath on this earth. I was only 24 years old at the time of my mother's death. In addition I have had two types of cancer myself including bilateral breast cancer in my 30's. I only share this information with you to let you know that I understand your pain. You are not responsible for anybody else'e pain and the guilt you have been experiencing is not rational guilt. I appreciate your honesty in not knowing what to say or do in this most difficult situation. I've been there and done that. However, for some special reason a higher power brought the two of you together even just on the internet , and there is a heavenly purpose for this which will enable the growth of both your spirits. Please count this opportunity as a special blessing for your spiritual growth and whatever love and blessings you send out to another in need will always come back to bless you at a future time when you are in special need. You do not have to be there in person to meet her needs. Whether you send emails, cards, or prayers they will all reach her and help to ease her burdens. Just knowing that there is another human being on this earth who cares whether you live or die and who acknowledges you as a special person of worth and love means the whole world to all of us on this planet. You can let her know that her future is in the hands of God but that you will pray for God's perfect will for her life to be done. You can tell her you know that sometimes you are very weak because you are made of the weaker stuff of mankind and don't have all the answers of the Heavenlies but you are willing to keep her memories and dreams in a special place in your heart. Let her know that it is OK for her to share her concerns and feelings through emails with you anytime and that you will do your best to respond to them. Also let her know that you recognize that the best way you can help her is to be just there when she needs somone to reach out to and to share with. She isn't looking for you to solve her problems for her, just someone that she can reach out to no matter what. Please see this as a tremendous gift that you are able to give to her and in the giving you will receive just as much back perhaps even more although it may take awhile before you realize this. You sound like a wonderful person who is very loving and caring about the feelings and needs of others. Just follow your heart and remember that God never gives us a burden greater than we can handle. I wish you the love and blessings of God.
2006-10-14 14:04:42 · answer #1 · answered by marnie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can certainly appreciate the anguish that you are going through, and the reason for that is because I too am in that same sort of situation.
I'll try to tell you exactly what I did, and hopefully this may help. About the only difference in my case is that she is my girl friend. In her case, she was suffering from a deadly form of cancer, which is camcer of the liver. The very first thing that I did was to comfort her and to support her, and to remind her that as long as she was still breathing, that there was still hope that she would overcome the illness, and that I would be beside her, hand in hand. The next thing that I did was remember that from television, that there was a hospital that specializes in the treatment of all kinds of cancer, especially when all things look dim and gloomy. It's called the CANCER TREATMENT CENTER OF AMERICA. I got online with them and contacted them immediately. It was almost at once that arrangements were made for the both of us to fly down to that location. Immediately, she was treated in a very aggressive manner, both in the traditional manner, as well as from a nutritional and any other way that you can imagine.
This was several months ago, and today I am very pleased that the results have been very positive, and that she is now free of the disease. All that is necessary is for her to follow up for the routine check ups every few months.
The point to it all is that you gotta make things as cheerful as possible. Forget the past, and just reflect on today, and be supportive of her. I can't think of anything else to tell you except for you to think with your heart, and not with your mind.
You can trust me on this that it works.
By the way I forgot to tell you the end result with my girl friend, and that is that things have become very intense, and that we are now engaged.
2006-10-14 13:49:14 · answer #2 · answered by kravitz44 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is be her friend make sure your there for her. Let her know how much you care about her and your dependable. If she's terminally ill still and you have no other relationship then why not go out with her. It'll make her life knowing she had you in your life until her death. If however you cannot go out with her just make sure to be a REALLY good friend for her!
2006-10-14 13:16:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is to have someone go to see her to explain the Gospel (Good News) to her, so that her distress will be relieved and filled with peace, hope and happiness.
In the Beginning God created heavens and earth.
God gives you air to breathe and sunshine to enjoy.
God gives you water to drink and food to eat.
God gives you a wonderful body and sound mind, to live.
God loves you, and you are precious to Him.
Son of God died on the Cross to save us from condemnation.
Jesus’ love is boundless and everlasting.
We have the hope of Heaven through Jesus.
Life therefore has fantastic and glorious future!
(Digestion of above can even prevent depression and suicide attempt.)
2006-10-14 16:00:59 · answer #4 · answered by tmthyh 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
specific that is completely commonplace and inspite of how undesirable he become to you, you will additionally bear in mind reliable circumstances and your 2 infants being convceived with trouble-free emotions. in case you probably did no longer sense something you may certainly be unusual. At one time he ought to have been the affection of your existence. notwithstanding, i think of it quite is important you are not getting sentiment mixed up with actuality. You of path ought to have empathy for the unfavourable guy and in the journey that your Christian can undergo in ideas him on your prayers or if no longer sense for him on your man or woman private ideas yet you need to additionally undergo in ideas what become actuality. You needless to say are unhappy at what's occurring and want issues must be diverse yet you need to additionally recognise you have moved on. i do no longer understand your circumstances, even in the journey that your loved ones are on the factor of their dad, he has an important different or in spite of yet interior the intervening time in case you sense like it deliver a card letting him understand you're thinking or him, if that would not look superb you need to pass a message via using your infants yet do no longer enable any style of guilt take over. Empathy specific, it would not be human in case you probably did no longer sense that yet you need to additionally undergo in ideas why you made this new existence for your self and proceed to pass on as you have been doing for the previous 17 years.
2016-10-19 10:03:35 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont tell us of the distance between u, or if u an call her, if she was a friend, ud have her number, and r u sure she is not taking u for a ride, winding u up?
2006-10-14 13:19:11 · answer #6 · answered by Andy H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋