Do you think its good to spank your kids?

Question

WE really need help please give an opinon and tehn if you can a story to help influence us.

we were wondering your opinon and if you can tell us a perosnal story to influence us in your way.

Answer 1

When appropriate, absolutely. Some kids don't need it. Others do. Spanking instills an instinctive aversion to wrong behaviors. It goes deeper than "talking" which is next to useless with small children. If you believe in the maxim "let the punishment fit the crime," then spanking is an especially appropriate response to hitting. People who tell us that spanking is child abuse and whatnot have way too much time on their narcisistic hands. They need to swallow all their psychobabble B.S. and mind their own business. The world would be a more peaceful and healthy place if more parents spanked their children. -yk

Answer 2

Although I was spanked as a kid I was convinced in college that it was inappropriate. So I did not at first spank when I had my own kids. To make a long story short--in the course of being a Mom I changed my tune and decided my parents were not so dumb and old fashioned after all.

I know that anectodal stories are not very useful--but that is the major reason I spank--it works for me. I also think it is fairer and less mean than punishments like time outs and groundings. A spanking gets the punishment over and the air is cleared. The other things drag the thing out. I don't want to be a parental jailer. With younger kids I think the whole point of why they are being punsihed is lost. With older kids it is no more of an effective punishment and inspiration to strive for better behavior than jailing adults is.


I think if more parents would spank--and do it correctly--they would be very surprprised by the results they get. And I don't mean for every little thing but not just as a last resort either. The real key to making it work is consistency.

I should also mention all the research that has been done on this subject showing it is bad. These are all statistically flawed. Infact to the surprise of one researchers who surveyed all the research--he found it to be the most effective method of getting children to comply with the wishes of their parents.

There is a reason parents have been spanking since time immemorial. The anti-spanking movement is very new. And like a lot of new untested ideas I am convinced it is wrong.

Answer 3

I was a pre school teacher not too long ago. I saw a lot of kids and their parents. I can't say a definite "yes" or "no" without knowing the details. Really, even with the deatils, I couldn't totally trust the story from your point of view, especially without knowing you and your kid personally.

PS- I see that some of your more rightous responses are putting guilt trips on you just for considering spanking as an option. If your spanking your child because he has no humility and you have no other choice but to spank, then the spanking is done out of love. There are better ways to humble your child, but if you have to start by spanking(not hard), then maybe it's a good idea. After you have their respect, use your momentum to find another way to snowball their respect for you.

Answer 4

Hi! I am a wife and a mother of two with one on the way. I am amazed at how many people have came out and admitted to spanking their kids. I have and am working on not doing it AS MUCH. Spanking is affective but repetitive and excessive is NOT. That is my own experience. If your child is still not behaving, I think you should try something that else. Like taking away a priveledge that they LOVE. But you can't threaten to do it and then not if they disobey anyway. That will teach them that you really DON'T MEAN WHAT YOU SAY. Children will test your limits all the time. They need to know who's boss, and that when you say something, you mean it. When you carry out what you say and take away the priveledge, you have to ignore the fit that they most likely will have, and remind them of why they can't have or do whatever. Like, my little girl does things all the time that she knows she is not supposed to do, but I do think it is getting better. It is hard sometimes to stick with what you say. Like, if she pushes her brother or climbs on the furniture, I will tell her something like, do that again and you get no movies for the rest of the day. Many times she does it again, and then when I won't let her watch anything, she throws a fit. Or maybe I will tell her that if she disobeys, she will have to sit in the corner, fastened into her booster seat for awhile. She hates that. It is taking time, but I do believe that I will find the best punishments for her in time. THERE IS A TIME for spanking. Directly telling mommy or daddy "No" I think is one of them. Or sassing. Or something that could physically hurt or kill her (like running out into the parking lot away from you). But please take my advice. I have learned that it is NOT GOOD TO SPANK WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY. Leave the room. Say a prayer for help. Take a deep breath. And when your anger subsides and you can calm down, then return and carry out the punishment. And also be careful of spanking in a public place. This could get your children taken away from you.

Answer 5

If you read developmental psychology research, there are plenty of reasons NOT to spank your child. One, for example, is that it usually doesn't stop the bad behavior, it just stops them from getting caught doing it - they will still do the behavior, just try very hard to do it away from you. There are plenty of other more effective alternatives. I was never spanked and I turned out great.

The only time I might suggest spanking is if it was a life or death situation - For instance, if your 2 year old runs out into the street in front of a car or sticks a knife into an outlet- time out will not get the severity of the message across. But I still don't mean beat the child - clothes on, swat on the butt with your hand.


Oh, and most people will say "kids are such brats nowadays." Thats because of a variety of other parenting problems, not because of their choice of whether or not to spank.

Answer 6

Only if they do something wrong... Spanking them for getting a good report card would probably send the wrong message..

Seriously, spanking should be use only as a last resort and only if the child won't listen to reason... And not used after a certain age (Usually 3 or 4 depending on the child). If you do spank however, it is important to go in and talk to your child later to explain why you had to resort to spanking... Saying that you didn't want to spank him/her but you are the parent and it is your job to correct bad behavior before it becomes the norm.. or words to that effect... talking on the child's level.. If the child sees spanking as a last resort to correcting bad behavior a warning of a spanking in the future may be all that is needed.

Answer 7

Spank early and spank often. And make sure they know what they're getting spanked for. Some people confuse spanking with beating - that's not what I mean.

My son is 12 and I spanked early and often. He only needed a few times and he learned. Can't remember the last time he was punished. He's well adjusted, isn't afraid of me and obeys the rules. Kids need structure. They need to know how to act in a civilized society. Kids that receive discipline are happy and confident.

Answer 8

I never did think it was necessary to physically spank a child. Sometimes, a difference in tone of how you are disciplinging, your child can sometimes be enough. I know their are some wild children out there. But the key is to start very early, and sometimes just raising your voice can do the trick. I remember as a small child , the many times my dadd would say, be quiet dont make me come in there after you. He merely had to snap his leather belt, and never did have to step into the room. good luck

Answer 9

I know spanking is almost considered child abuse now, in fact maybe it is considered child abuse. However, I was a brat sometimes and I needed to be spanked to get my attention, to rein me in for my own good and to keep from driving my parents loony. It didn't do me any harm, I am glad my parents forced me to not be such a wild little monster. They never hurt me, never struck me in a vital spot, just across the butt where it would hurt for a while but do no permanent damage. My only regret is that I was such a jerk that I even needed it. As for you, the laws may have changed, it might not be legal to spank your child now, in which case...don't! And if it is legal, never spank your child in anger and never spank any place that could do damage, the butt seems to be naturally padded and not prone to damage so thats probably the best place to spank, but only if it actually needs to be done. I hope your kids are better behaved than I was!

Answer 10

SPANK Even my pets understand the difference of punishment and abuse. My cat has had 4 spankings in her life. A spanking consists if Patting on hind quarters while talking real mean, she doesn't run off, let her sit a moment, call her by name and talk in normal tone MEOW, Okay she gets forgiveness, She won't even go over in a corner of my parlor[got two spanking for scratching in one day] My children as well as my pets have responded well to punishment swift and sure followed with forgiveness. Spankings are rare scoldings are generally enough. You can't hit my cat she becomes all claws and teeth. Spanking but no slapping. My children; it was always I'm sorry i won't do it again...It was time for forgiveness and would let them know i believed and trust them, time for a hug. First trust, forgiveness affection and they never have questioned, what is love??