What can I do??

Question

well this is gonna be a wall of text (but its not actually as long as it looks) so thanks to anyone who actually reads and answers.
Im gonna start from the beginning. I found out she used to fancy me about 1 or 2 years ago. At the time i didnt really know her and i didnt realise this, and this is pretty much how we became friends. she invited me to the cinema with her and some friends and such, and as i got to know her, i sarted to like her too. well i didnt act on it or anything, because i was a wuss (trying to change that now =D) but anyway, things went on normally with me liking her and we would talk on msn for ages and stuff. well then I dunno what happened, I think she may have gone off me or given up, but i still persisted (when I like a girl, it's for ages, like over a year usually which really sucks >_<) and then after a while I got the impression that she liked me again. she would trick me and say that she was going out with a certain guy or kissed someone, just to see my reaction (I think) but she would tell me shortly after i replied that she was joking (she did this about 3 times). another thing she did was send me this link. I had to ask this 'thing' questions, and it answered them. the catch was, she could see what i was asking and could reply to them herself. i knew this (lol) and used it to my advantage asking 'it' questions about whether she liked me and vice versa. i asked it a lot of these questions, and the answer was yes everytime. a few weeks after this i aksed her about it and she said she couldnt remember much, but felt guilty and closed the window, thus she didnt answer (meaning that the thing would submit a random answer) but i though that this had to be too much of a coincidence to answer 'yes' like 20 times in a row. \\\\ we also used to fill out quizes for each other and in one she said that she used to fancy me and i also found out from one of the questions that she would kiss me, and she would go out with me, but i was too shy. she also used to do other things that i cant quite recall, but just small things like ring me up or say she liked particular bands I did (even though i realy dont think she does) anyway, this went on for a while and then, as before, cooled down as if she wasnt interested anymore. i thought she was interesed in some other guy, but somehow, it slipped out on msn that i like her. I dont think she knew what to say. I think she knew already and was just flattered and all. we stayed good friends still. well it carried on normal for a while, and again, another twist. a good friend of mine (who is very trustworthy) tells me that he asked her who she liked and she said me, and the other guy i mentioned very briefly a second ago. i didnt know what to think. i was too confused by it all. at one point i saw a message on my friends phone (sent by the other guy she may have liked at the time) a message that was asking her about me and if she liked me (he knows i saw it btw so i wasnt looking through the phone or anything lol) The final thing that happened (very recently) is that we were out at some club and she was a bit drunk/tipsy (but she tells me she wasnt) and out of nowhere she comes and kisses me on the lips, only for a second or so, and says bye, and then again when she leaves to go home. well, thats pretty much it up until the current date. all of a sudden, out of the blue shes going out with someone. i dont know much about it, and i dont really want to know either to be honest. my question is (and I thank anyone greatly who has read all this so far) what the hell do I do? I know i cant ask her out as she has a boyfriend and I cant exactly get over her just like that, cos as said earlier, i generally like girls for a long time... i think I would have enough courage to ask her out now, if she didnt have a boyfrined that is. the thing is, im still great friends with her, and its really hard to watch all this going on. she pretty much knows I still have feelings for her. i dont know what to do though..?

thanks a lot for your reply sinead c but i dont think she is just dating this guy to make me jelous or anything, she does like him. and she also pretty much knows i have feelings for her. your advice was great though.

Answer 1

Wow - okay, your question is so complicated that I'm not quite sure what to say, but it seems to me that you should tell her how you feel right now before her relationship with this other guy gets too serious. I think maybe she's going out with the other guy just to get your attention, but I also think she's playing you and has messed you about for ages. It's not a nice thing to do, and guys do it to girls, too - I know, because I've had it happen to me - but it's something, sadly, that immature people do from time to time to make themselves feel powerful and important. I'm sorry to insult the girl you like, but that's how I see it. Actually, you sound far too kind and nice and intelligent to be treated so badly! But I know that when you like someone, you want to do all you can to impress them and get them to like you, etc. - so I think you should tell her you like her as soon as you can. If you have too much respect for the fact that she has a boyfriend to officially 'ask her out', I still think you can tell her you like her without treading on her boyfriend's territory. Then, once she's been told the truth, she can make up her own mind.

And if she keeps messing you about, move on and find a nicer, more mature girl who will appreciate your openness, honesty and kindness. And best of luck, whatever happens.

Answer 2

Wow that was long, im sure you could have cut that down to get the story out lol. Aw poor you, you should have told her when you had your chance, now some1 else is with her. I would say i know its hard that you should move on from her, try and distance yourself away, so you dont spend so much time with her that will help you move on. Or you could sit and wait, things might not go well with this new bloke and then you could get your chance, but i wouldnt really recommend that. Sorry i havent been much help, urs is a hard one. Good luck for whatever happens!

Answer 3

well that was long. ok shes just tried of waiting i would be to. see what you have to do is chase her. don't act like you don't know whats going on. call a radio and dedcate a song to her. if you go to a concert try to get on stage and telling every you like her. she propably just wants to know that you turly like he to and for you to show it. and firm what i just read you are really shy about things and didn't let her in on your feelings. so chase. i have to give her so cerdict if i were her i would havegiven up on you a long time ago. so listen to me and persue your girl.

Answer 4

i say go ask her out because if you like her and you think she likes you she will be thrilled to know that you are being direct ..so ask her out ..don't let you chance slip by again seriously ......go phone her talk to her and let is all fall into place...........good luck