I'm 17. I'm in home schooling so I don't know anyone. And because of that I can't get into driver's ed or a work permit, so I'm stuck at home. I have no friends. I've never been on a date. I haven't done ANYTHING in my life. My brother has a friend that wants to meet me. I've seen him before, I would like to meet him too. I simply mentioned it to my Mom and she exploded at the thought. For her, it's never going to happen. But she keeps telling me I need a boyfriend! I met a girl who lives a few streets over, she wanted to hang out with me, I mentioned her to my Mom ... no effing way was she ever going to come over. And she keeps saying I need friends too! I'm a very well behaved person, my Mom doesn't even know my brother's friend or the girl I met, let alone would she ever give them a chance. They're both my age. I only have 3 months until I'm 18, but even then I know my Mom will act the same exact way, she has my whole life. What on Earth do I do? Please help, thanks!!!
2006-10-14 12:30:40 · 16 answers · asked by ♀♥♂☮Trippy Hippie☮♂♥♀ 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hey! Is there a father in this equation? If not, she's trying to make sure you don't live your life like she has. And if the IS a father, bring him in on this.
2006-10-14 12:34:39 · answer #1 · answered by Maewest 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I HATE MOTHERS LIKE THAT MY MOTHER IS THE SAME WAY WELL USE TO BE IM 35 NOW WELL heres the thing in three months there isnt going to be a dam thing your mother can do you can go hump the whole school football team and she cant do anything you need to have a life and you are not getting one and thats a probllem in three months by law you can do what ever you want that doesnt break the law and your mother should stop being such a bullie and trying to live your life because she is making a mistake just hang in there and the day you turn 18 go to your mother and say im going out and will be back whenever and if she says anything then you say ok i will be getting a job and i will be getting out and just dont talk to her any more beleive me she will shut up then she has a need to have controll your 17 teen for goodness sakes your not a baby in three months have a fricken party party alll night you deserve it
2006-10-14 19:41:06 · answer #2 · answered by mz.thang 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mom is experiencing the "Leaving The Nest Syndrome" There are all sorts of clubs, civic centers and volunteer opportunities out there. See if you and your new friend can volunteer at the same charity/church or join the same club. This will alleviate your mother's worries that you are un-chaperoned. The world is an ugly place and she's afraid she'll loose her daughter. What she doesn't realize is that she'll loose you anyway when you get out on your own, if she continues to hold on so tight.
Ask her if she trusts you not to get into trouble. Reassure her that she taught you well and you know right from wrong, and if you run into a situation you don't know how to handle, you'll call her for advice. Then do it. Make her feel you still need her even though you are almost an adult. Confide your feelings to her in a respectful, gentle, loving way.
2006-10-14 19:55:00 · answer #3 · answered by Jade 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, at 18, you can legally do things on your own... She can tell you "NO!!!" However, you have the right to say, "Yes..."
Your mother is over protective, possibly due to the absence of a father? You didn't mention him. I don't know how old your mother is maybe she's afraid of being alone OR maybe she's afraid that you are too innocent to be on your own.
Whatever the reason, you eventually will have to make a move towards leaving the house. You need some interaction with others in society.
I recommend that if you are not allowed to have friends over, make an excuse and go over to meet with your "friends"... If you want to be with a boy, I recommend that you make sure he's not looking for something other than friendship at first.
It is going to come up sooner or later. I would suggest you go and meet this young boy with your brother. Hang out and have fun. Don't do anything to put yourself in danger.
Remember sweet talk sometimes is just a diversion to move forward, it has no depth. A guy that truly loves you will show, one way is by respecting you. He won't make moves or try to move beyond kissing.
When you're 18, don't "RUN FREE"... Stay close to your mom, but do develop outside friendships with girls and talk with them openly about the guys to see which ones to avoid so that you don't get in trouble... You don't have to experience sex in order to experience love. If he loves you, he'll respect you.. Good rule of thumb. Show your mom your maturity by making good decisions...
The worst thing you can do is allow mom to say, "See I told you so!!!" Better for you to listen to her wisdom and apply it as best you can.
2006-10-14 19:52:22 · answer #4 · answered by James B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak with her and tell her how you feel. Let her know that you understand that she loves you and you her. She can not be stuck to your side for your whole life. If she raised you and you are a very good person ask her to try to trust you. You learn good values from her and soon you'll be 18 and will have to experience life. Make sure she understands that you would never do anything against those good values. You need to have friends and experience life. Life can be dangerous and you would like to be able to come to her for advice, but you need to be able to be a normal teen. She sounds over protective so go ask her why she feels so strongly against letting you go. Do not fight with her. Show her you have now become a young adult. Good Luck. Oh and let her know you'll always need her.
2006-10-14 19:43:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur lucky my mom hasnt been much in life as my dad has been i think u need to sit her down and ask why would u say i need friends and a boyfriend and then turn around and say why u saying no or what u whatever she said to u . well i kind of was like u in a way i my dad and mom said i couldnt date until i was 18 yrs old and i am 21 now and i figured it out i am the baby in my family so maybe ur the baby parents do that all the time with kids they can never let them learn by themselfs cuz of the parents also i would have ur friend come by ur place and get to know ur mom and have dinner with her and if she said no then ur mom cant let u go its a parent thing
2006-10-14 19:40:40 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother was like that after she divorced and she got really weird. It was like she wanted me to be friends with others but then she would not let them in the house sometimes when they came to visit and at other times she would. Then she got to where she would not let me call them. It got really bad. I ended up moving in with my dad and going to college. That ended it. So get yourself ready to go to college and you will get a whole new life then. Since you are almost 18, you should find out about different colleges that interest you and contact them. I think that is the best thing for you since she is so controlling. She surely would want you to get an education. If not, there is not much she can do about it, since you will be 18 soon. Good luck.
2006-10-14 19:50:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be time to use a little psychology on your mom. Make a list of everything you've mentioned here and very calmly and clearly ask her what she would suggest if she really wants you to have friends and/or a boyfriend. Maybe she doesn't know what to do either. Are you a part of any home school groups or religious groups? There are LOTS of kids in similar situations such as yours! Good luck!
2006-10-14 19:39:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can take driver's ed without being in public school. You can enroll for evening or weekend courses. Plus, it's illegal for a public school system to keep you out of "elective" courses such as P.E., Band, Choir, etc.... Maybe you could enroll in your local high school for a class or two to get to know more people.
As for you mother.....respect her. It sounds like there is something in her past that is freaking her out, about you. She is trying to protect you, but doesn't know how to do it. I'm not saying to sneak out to meet the guy or girl that you wrote about, but you need to have interaction with people your age. Whatever you do, respect your mother. Talk to her openly about your concerns. If she refuses to be civil with you, then you need to do what it takes to get friends. Be Polite. Good Luck
2006-10-14 19:47:12 · answer #9 · answered by marks3kids 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your mom keeps telling you that you need a boyfriend and friends, why don't you ask her why she won't let you have them? And if you are going to be 18 in a couple of months, great...but if you continue to live under your mom's roof--the same rules will apply.
2006-10-14 19:56:23 · answer #10 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apply for college and get accepted. Get as much student aid as you can and get out of there! You are not in a healthy environment. Your mom should not push you to have a boyfriend or restrict you from having friends. If you feel you need to get out now, call the police and have someone from social services get you the hell out of there.
2006-10-14 19:55:23 · answer #11 · answered by sounsure90211 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋