Can A Person Who Has No Children, and Never Had Any Children, Tell You How To Raise Your Own?

Question

lol I'm asking this because I have an aunt on my dad's side of the family who irritates the heck out of my mom, because when we were growing up, she would always try to tell my mother how to raise us. This aunt has never been married, and never worked with children before. Yet, she would always tell my mom what she "needed" to do with us. To this day, my mom still can't stand her. lol

Answer 1

One of my best friends has no children and I truly respect her advice. She always begins with , "Of course, I don't have any children but..." Sometimes just being logical is what a parent needs, without the extra love emotion thrown in. Lots and lots of people know nothing about raising children and just having a child certainly doesn't make you an expert. I think if the advice is given with compassion and not with an attitude (like your aunt's) then it should be considered too.

Answer 2

Raising a child is not an easy task, and every child is different; something that works with one may not work with another. Therefore, not only does this childless aunt have no place in telling anyone how to raise their children, but also people who have raised children cannot tell someone else how to raise their child. The only people who can are those who have a degree in psychology with experience.

The problem with your know-it-all aunt is she thinks she has all the answers, because she lacks experience and knowledge. A good response to her the next time she interjects with some of her "Wisdom" is to look her in the eye, tilt your head and say with a deep voice, "Is that your professional opinion, Doctor?"

Answer 3

I would say no. It is hard enough to be someone that has had children to tell someone else how to raise them, let alone tell someone what to do if they have never had to go through some of the circumstances that your children will put you through. As humans we like to think we know what we would do in any given circumstance, but until you are "wearing the shoes" so to speak, you don't know.
I was a counselor, I have given text book advice to a lot of people, but now that I found myself going through a situation that I never dreamed would happen to me, I found that I made some of the mistakes that I thought I would not make.

It is easy to judge others, but opinions are just that opinions. Some you take and others you leave.

Answer 4

I never had or raised children; this puts me in an excellent position to see child-related situations without emotion.

For example, I can tell the difference between kids who are behaving well, and kids who are destructive brats. I don't have a Baby-Love filter that makes unacceptable behavior look cute.

I keep my mouth shut, unless *asked* for my opinion. But, when asked, I will say what I see.

Answer 5

Your Aunt has no say so, because you say she never been
experienced with children. Therefore someone can not just
open up to someone not knowing what the flavor is. So she
needs to keep her advise to herself ,until she get her own
tribe of children and see off hand how things work. Until then
your mom needs to continue to ignore her and continue raising her children as she been doing. You Go Mom (Your Mom).

Answer 6

My aunt has the same probl;em with her aunt! (my great aunt!)
It was over christmas time and my toddler cousin wasn't eatting anything but yogurt and drinking milk. at the age she was, she was using a sippy cup. My great aunt told her sippy cups were the worst things you could give your baby! etc etc etc! i wanted to tell her to shut up! I mean they have this completely white house very contempory and she's telling my aunt not to give her juice in a sippy cup? What would she rather her do? Give it to her in a cup and let her walk around the house?
There really isn't anything you can do, take it with a grain of salt!

Answer 7

You should not necessarily dismiss someone who has no children. Little petty things of course can be ignored, but I knew a brat when I saw one, LONG before I had children of my own.
It doesn't take someone with kids to know the difference between kids who are pleasant to be around and those who cause stress and upheaval wherever they go. Honestly, I don't feel my opinions that I use to give parents before I had kids, changed after I had my 3 kids. I knew even before I had them, who was doing parenting well and who wasn't. Granted its harder to acheive the children's behavior you want, but you don't lower the standard that you had before you had them.

Answer 8

They can try. Even people who have raised 20 kids can try to tell you what to do, but you are the only one who can decide how you raise your children.

Answer 9

Your Aunt may be speaking from observing others and feels that she has something to offer. It's like a person who is a psychiatrist doesn't have to be crazy first in order to be one.

Answer 10

That's a really good question. . .who knows, sometimes it takes someone that is on the outside looking in, to be able to offer some really good advice.

There are all types of perception. . .sometimes it is best to get someone else's. If they persist though, I can absolutely see how that is irritating. Well your grown up now. . .how'd your Mom do?