I have a really nice boyfriend, I have been dating him for a year and a month, and we have been living together for three months. But there are a few problems, he thinks we are already married and that I am his house wife. He never helps with laundry, dishes, cleaning the apartment, taking care of the cat, or anything to make it easier on me. I work all day just as well as him and he thinks I have to do everything. On my days off of work, I do laundry and chores... on his days off, he goes hunting. I have told him once already that I am not his house wife and that he needs to help around the house. It was ineffective. What should I, what can I, do to get him to help me? He got mad at me when I bought a purse with a matching walet. But he thinks its ok for him to buy a fishing rod for $250. My stuff was $50 put together. And he asked me to buy him a pop-up blind for deer hunting, so I did. I asked for a new phone (cheaper) and he said no. Is he selfish or am I? Am I asking too much??
2006-10-14
09:47:45
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23 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Singles & Dating
And I don't want to leave him, at all.
2006-10-14
09:51:17 ·
update #1
No, I dont think you are being selfish. I would be peeved too.
He is being selfish for sure, but maybe doesnt realize it.
I would try this first...Go get a massage, have a hot bath, take some drugs,lol, whatever you need to do to keep yourself totally calm and rational during a conversation with him about. Once you get defensive about things, he will. If you remina calm in the face of defensiveness, sometimes it actually calms people down. Just ask him to hear you out and the be totally prepared to listen to him after. Explain to him you cant keep it up, the way house chores are doing and that you feel...well whatever you feel.
If it still turns in to a pointless argument I would, without telling him go find another apartment with a roomie or something if you have to. Let him know one day that though you really value your relationship with him, you will not keep being his maid and you want some equality. Go on dates again rather than live together.
You teach people how to treat you and you do not want to start a life long relationship off on that housecleaning, deprived wife note.
You know what though, things still maybe not work out. Men dont really change...people dont really change for anyone but themselves. He might change for a month in the name of getting some, but well, you;ve heard the story before...
Just be sure about what you are doing. Once day you might find your birthcontrol has failed you and have his baby and then you will be really stuck. You dont want to be in that situation where there is a sweet little baby depending on your ability to cope and be happy when there is man treating you as a slave at the same time. You are worth more than that.
Sorry to be a downer, but I think it should be said. However, you might want to look at this as a good opportunity. If you guys are serious about having a relationship, you two are going to have to get good at problem solving so think f this as practice (as much as I know it sucks). If you guys can come through this, you'll make it through anything.
Regardless though. You dont deserve to be treated that way and should not put up with it.
Good luck!
2006-10-14 10:02:29
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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I am your best friend, and I've know the both of you for a long time. Him longer and this is the first time I've seen him in a serious relationship. This is the first time that I've seen you in one that your not completely happy in the middle of it. The others, yeah, they ended sorta bad but that was the end. That's why they end, cause it's bad. You've hung on for so long and I really hope that you are able to for the sake that you love him so much. I know he loves you. He's just like Trey but he shows it more. His family like you said is old fashioned where the woman works all day and then comes home and works there where the men sit and do as they please. I also think that yeah ya'll did move in together to soon. If ya'll had actually know each other before you dated and been friends it would have been different but ya'll met, made out on my tailgate and started dating. You know damn well your not selfish and that he needs to get you what you want sometimes. You bought him that stupid funky shaped pop up blind and he won't upgrade your phone for around $110.00. Dont forget, didn't he just get one not too long ago. I love you.
2006-10-14 14:31:10
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answer #2
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answered by kountry_kandi 2
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You aren't being selfish, I think it's just the way a lot of men are! My bf thinks nothing of buying every new release movie but if I want to go buy a new purse? "what do you need that for?" ,"what's wrong with the purse you have?", etc. And I deal with the hunting thing too. And the helping around the house. Otherwise he's a great guy, he's honest, trustworthy (and trusting) when I'm sick he'll take care of me. If he stops by the store, he calls to see if I want anything.
Men are a strange breed.
2006-10-14 10:02:40
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answer #3
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answered by msuzyq 4
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that ought to take far too long to describe. notwithstanding, that is trivial to instruct we share a uncomplicated ancestor with chimpanzees, and that's your grievance besides. a million. We share dozens of ERVs. those are viruses that insert randomly into the genome. To have the comparable ones interior the comparable area from separate an infection activities is impossible. the only clarification is one an infection journey that the two lineages inherited. 2. people have 23 (haploid) chromosomes on the same time as different apes have 24. you may line them up between species, yet the two better ape chromosomes line up completely with human 2. Human 2 additionally has a degenerate centromere (chromosomes have one) and indoors telomeres (they are the tip caps). this suggests people at one factor had 24 chromosomes. 3. As you're in all probability conscious, people can not make nutrition C. it quite is definitely very unusual, maximum animals could make it. notwithstanding, maximum primates can not. the only team which could is properly-known from fossil information to be a far off chop up. So people who're no longer able to make nutrition C are monophyletic. no longer basically that, yet genome sequencing printed why we can't make it. The final gene in ascorbic acid synthesis (l-gulonolactone oxidase) is broken. it quite is a pseudogene, a gene that continues to be recognizable, yet no longer clever. The interesting ingredient is all those primates have the comparable superb mutation it quite is inactivating the enzyme. yet another team of animals additionally can no longer make nutrition C, the guinea pigs. they have a diverse mutation interior the comparable gene. So people are concerning different apes. for this reason evolution is actual.
2016-10-19 09:49:17
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answer #4
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answered by ? 4
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No youre not selfish and you aren't asking too much at all. Men dont realize these days that relationships are 50/50 - and respect is a two way street. You need to give him an altematum and tell him that he's gotta help out and quit being such a jerk, or you're out.
2006-10-14 09:50:30
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answer #5
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answered by llsoinlovell 2
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GURL YOU GOY TO GET YOURSELF OUT OF THERE, HES JUST USING YOU. HES YOUR BOYFRIEND NOT YOUR OWNER. HE HAS YOU WARPED AROUND HIS FINGERS. IM MARRIED AND WE BOTH WORK AND SPLIT THE HOUSE CHORCE DOWN THE MIDDLE, AS WELL AS THE MONEY. NO ONE IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER HERE.GET OUT OF THERE. OR BETTER YET SINCE HE AINT DOING MUCH TO HELP AROUND, YOU TOO SHOULD STOP DOING HIS PART. PUT A CHORE SCHEDULE AND PLACE IT ON THE FRIDGE DOOR. EXPLAIN TO HIM THAT BEFORE ANY PURCHASING IS MADE FRIST THE HOUSE HOLD BILLS AND NECCESITIES WILL BE MET, THAN IF THERE IS ANY LEFT OVER ENOUGH VOR BOTH YOUS CAN SPEND SOME ON ONE ANOTHER. ITS ONLY FAIR. 50-50.NO EXCEPTIONS. YOU BETTER BE CAREFULL W HIM IT DOESNT SOUND LIKE HE LOVES YOU VERY MUCH. JUST WANTS SOMEONE WHO WILL TAKE HIS CRAP.GETT OUTTA THERE GURL. FIND YOURSELF A REAL MAN!
GOOD LUCK
2006-10-14 09:58:47
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answer #6
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answered by jackie_josefina23 1
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Doesn't sound like you're asking for much. He's mooching off you for your money. If it were me, I'd tell him to get his act together, or I get my stuff together, he can live in his own filth. Hunting? It's a disgusting past time. Sometimes beneficial, but still- killing things for fun makes me wonder what he'd want out of the relationship. Good luck.
2006-10-14 09:50:39
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answer #7
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answered by iambic_chatterbox 4
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Welcome to the world of selfish guys...you need to try to tell him one more time that you really care about him but if he wants this relationship to work then he has to be part of it..Ask him nicely to put up his clothes and do the dishes ad maybe you can work it out to do its whenever its easier for the other...but if he doesnt listen you realy need to pack up and leave and see his reaction.
2006-10-14 09:55:06
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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it very much sounds like he is the selfish one. if it's too much to bare, as much as this may hurt let him stand on his own two feet. tell him that u r movin out because he doesn't help u around the house. watch his actions, if he change then good for u, if he stays the same then he might never change.
2006-10-14 09:56:07
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answer #9
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answered by TamLuv2406 2
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he is very selfish and taking advantage of ur love, u will end up getting bitter and empty and not liking him at all, either u 2 need to make sum changes or he gonna lose u
2006-10-14 09:51:22
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answer #10
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answered by menguss 3
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