Son has no father? Any experience with this?

Question

I am the mother of one small child,his dad and I brokeup right before I found out I was pregnant,he lived with some other girl the entire time I was pregnant,was verbally abusive,wasnt there when our son was born,acted really excited when he was born referred to him as "his boy" spent less and less time with him as he got older,hasnt seen him since he was 6 months.Last time I confronted him we got into a heated argument and he said you know you always say our son cant it be a well were not together thing.I havent spoken to him in over 4 months.I am terrified of my son growing up without a father.Any advice? People say I will meet and fall in love with someone who will want to be his father but its hard to find a guy like that and trust them enough.

Answer 1

Girl it will get better trust me. This may be the BEST thing that ever happened to your son.My son is 7yrs old and does not know his dad that well, his father only knows him when he is in jail and has no one else. We onced lived 10mins apart and he never came to see his son. My youngest is 5mths old and is a proudct of rape.During the time I was pregnant with her I met my fiancee and he has stepped in as her father as well as my son's father. We live together now so he spends alot of time with my kids and he considers them as his own. Before I met him I was alone with my son for years and it has finally gotten better. Take this a big blessing . You do not need a man like that as a role model for your son.

Answer 2

The way I see it is that he's better off having no father than he would be having such a terrible influence in his life. And don't go looking for Mr. Right, dating different men will only confuse your son, and will hurt him if gets attached to them. It's okay to date, just take it slow and don't bring guys home to meet your son until you are semi-serious with the guy. That said, studies show that kids need a male influence in their lives. Enlist relatives, a brother, father, uncle or male friend that you trust to spend time with you and your son, make sure this is someone that can have a positive influence on your son. As he gets older have him play team sports, like soccer and baseball, with a good coach. And you could put him in some kind of mentoring program where he will be matched with a positive male influence who will talk to him, teach him life skills, and basically be a friend. Even if you meet a man and fall in love, mentoring is a good thing for kids. Kids who are mentored tend to be more successful in life. And don't downplay your own role in your son's life, you are and always will be the biggest influence on who he will become, just keep being a great Mom and things will work out.

Answer 3

I feel the same way. My son is 6 months and his first word was da-da. His father comes up with mad excuses why he can't come see his son. I am afraid of my son growing up without a father because I have 5 brothers and their fathers weren't involved in rheir lives and only 2 of them are doing good. I think its extra hard to find someone who wants to be with a person that already has kids.

Answer 4

I didn't have a father when I was younger so my male figure was my best friends dad. There will be some male figure, whether it be your future husband, or one of his teachers. There is always some guy who steps up, and maybe later on, your child will get to know his real dad. He'll have to explain why he wasn't around, just like my dad did. It's a way of life that a lot of your kids deal with now a days. I'm sure he'll be okay.

Answer 5

Ok Sweetie listen to a single mother here babydoll ok. As far as the father goes, let him go, quit trying to make him take his responsibilites when its ovious that he won't. Leave him be, cause when the child gets older, he will have to answer for it himself. Then I would get up go to the Department of ChildSupport services and have his happy butt served with papers forcing him to pay you childsupport, its the child's right, not yours not his, the childs. Stand up for you baby sweetie. Also don't worry about another man raising your child. YOU raise your child. You gave birth to him/her you are the one that is being the responsible adult here be it.

Now I know that I'm sounding really harsh here, but Sweetie listen to someone who has raised one child of 15 years without her father and another child 8 years without his ok. There is help avaliable to you and your children. Let go of what cannot be fixed, and move ahead for yourself hun, think of the wonderful and bright future of your child and what that man will miss out on of his own free will, and be glad that you get to see this and he doesn't and move on. The future is always bright when you don't look backwards.

Answer 6

Okay...kids can grow up without fathers & be fine. I wish my sons father would go away because he is awful...
Don't LOOK for a man, get yourself out & concentrate on your son. Get him into Cub Scouts & other things that will give him strong male presence. My son is in Boy Scouts for the same reason. You will find someone if you stop worrying about it.
There are guys out there who are good men. Pray a lot!

Answer 7

once you find that right person you will know in your heart
that you can let got and trust , trust itself is a hard thing to do
but you will. I found some I was the same way I almost gave up
it'll come your day will come

Answer 8

it would be easier for all involved if a child had 2 parents. however, it is better to have 1 happy parent, then to have 2 parents that are always yelling and fighting. if he does not want to be part of his son's life for whatever reason, so be it. you will be ok. learn to be happy with the beautiful gift God has given you. God will supply you with everything you need. not everything you want, everything you NEED.

Answer 9

I HAVE A 3 1/2 YR OLD DAUGHTER AND FELT THE SAME WAY. MY DIVORCE IS ALMOST FINALZED-AFTER NEARLY 2 YRS- AND MY BF IS IN THE USAF AND PLANS TO ADOPT MY DAUGHTER - WHO LOVES HIM AND CALLS HIM DADDY. SHE DOESNT EVEN ASK FOR HER FATHER.
GIVE IT TIME. I MET HIM ON ONLINE PERSONNELS IF THAT HELPS.

Answer 10

Well, any guy figure would help them your dad would make a good guy figure until you find a daddy replacement.