Im 19 years old and i have been married sine May15 . Was i too young to get married?Getting married this young, am i dommed?Any tips ?
2006-10-14 09:11:34 · 33 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Krissy, what's going on? Is married life not what you thought it would be? You sounds so depressed, something has went wrong. Let me ask you this....do you love your husband? Really love him.
I got married at 18, and I moved to a new town. I didn't know anyone there, and my in-laws didn't like me. It was rough, and I felt like I had made the worse mistake of my life. I just turned 45, and I am still here. I have 2 beautiful kids, my daughter is 21, she got married in May too. Hers was the 28th.
Honey, you do know that if are feeling doomed, you don't have to stay this way. Have all your friends ditched you? Too busy for an old married woman now? You feeling like everyone has a life and is having fun but you. Krissy, it's ok to make a mistake, if you got married to early, it's the end of the world. But what you do need to do is this-----THINK...do some heavy duty soul searching, you don't want to make another mistake, What do you want? Do you love your husband? Can you see yourself married to him for years and years? Or, do you want to be free to do what you want when you and with who you want?
I wish I knew just a little more about your situation, if you were like me, I got a part-time job. Started making new friends ones that had more in common with me. I proved to my in-laws that I was worth getting to know and I wasn't going anywhere, and held on to my husband. Life got better, it wasn't easy, cried a many of tear, but I knew I loved him, so I stuck it out. almost 27 years later, I sure am glad I did. Oh, the friends came back after they got married and settled down. I now try to make time for them, not them try to make time for me.
Please, Krissy...do some thinking, be honest with yourself. Honey, I wish I could give you a hug, and we just sit down with a coke and let you have a good cry. You aren't doomed, you are in control, it's just do have the strength to do what you need to do to make yourself happy....
God bless us all.............
2006-10-14 10:46:37 · answer #1 · answered by totallylost 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would say you were too young. I was engaged when I was your age.. thank God the wedding never happened. I was just married at the age of 31 to a wonderful man. I have changed so much over the last 10 years, waiting was the best thing I ever could have done. I went to college, traveled, lived life, and had fun. Now I'm ready to be settled down and happy. Since your already married, you should make the most of it. Don't have kids too soon, you and your husband should try new things, travel etc. Good luck!
2006-10-14 16:53:30 · answer #2 · answered by eeeeeeeeclipse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well now that you are already married it's a little late to be thinking about that. I got married when I was 19, but the key to that is I had lived my life already. I had been on my own since I was 14 and had experieced what I had wanted to. Maybe if you and your husband are unhappy then you should do some of the things that made you happy when you dated., and then try some new things. I don't feel like I am doomed at all. I feel like my marriage was a blessing. Maybe you should have a serious talk with your husband if you are already unhappy. It's very early for problems but they need to be fixed ASAP. Pray about it. Good Luck!
2006-10-14 12:52:32 · answer #3 · answered by gaillee9 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be considered too young.
~*~BUT~*~
Think back, when little girls where being married off at the age of 10. Many of those marriages lasted 50 or more years.And they were happy.
I was married right after my 18th birthday. I had our first child April and was married in May. We had been together for over a year. We are still going strong.
Just remember that your first year is usually always the hardest because you are still getting to know each other fully. You will have many insercurites and will take time.
Good Luck! If it is what your heart truley wishes, you will have it and it will be wonderful!
2006-10-14 13:09:08 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there is nothing wrong with getting married at that age. I am 18 and I'll be married at the end of december. If you truly love him and want to me with him then you didnt get married too young. You're not dommed if being married makes you happy then dont worry about it.
2006-10-14 10:53:41 · answer #5 · answered by Alonza 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too young for marriage is a maturity issue and not necessarily an age issue. Sometimes they go hand in hand. The way I look at it is, If you spend more time ironing out the details of what you will do on your wedding day than the days, weeks and years following your wedding day, then your focus is misplaced and the maturity level might not be there. So women getting married in their 30's can still be to young to marry.
2006-10-14 09:17:48 · answer #6 · answered by Mr Cellophane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me drop a little knowledge bomb on ya'. (j/k) Anyone who gets married is doomed. Marriage is hard work, there will good times, there will be bad times but if you're not willing to work then it's going to fail. That goes for any age.
Here is a little something I learned... (taken from my post on WeddingAnnouncer.com since this question comes up everywhere.)
Most marriages fail b/c of lack of (the 4 C's) commitment, communication, cooperation and compassion, whether you are 19, 25, 30, or any age. A lot of people enter into a marriage with the attitude, if I don't like it I can always leave.. i.e. file for divorce, and don't focus on those 4 C's.
No matter what age you can make a marriage work if you BOTH follow those four C's before and after the wedding. Yes you are changing in your teen years, but so is the other person, I think the excuse "We just grew apart" is total BS... you just didn't want to try. People change, thier interests change, but if you both commit to communicate, and try to cooperate to find things you both agree on and enjoy, and have compassion for one another to not shoot down each other's ideas, and opinions, then you can make it work.
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Ashley's opinion, brought to you by WA in cooperation with Ashley. lol
2006-10-14 13:18:55 · answer #7 · answered by *~Mom2aJellybean~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the only one who can answer that question. Are you having second thoughts about staying married? It is definitely not like dating someone, is it? It is now settling down to the everyday living together part, where all the didden flaws are beginning to show. Tempers flare, and it is starting to feel like 2 isn't company,but more like a crowd. Marriage is give mostly. If you were used to getting your way all the time, before, look out! It is check up time with your husband. Talk it over, and try to hang in.......
2006-10-14 09:44:33 · answer #8 · answered by Garnet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, it depends on maturity, not age. One of my best friends got married at 19, and they are doing fine. My mom got married at 20, and she and my dad have been happily married for 25 years. Marriage is about the commitment to making it work, even through the tough times, not about using age as an excuse! Congrats!
2006-10-14 13:32:16 · answer #9 · answered by ASH 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my gosh that's young! I remember being 19 and I didn't want to get married for anything!! I got married last year - I was 27. Hubby was 35. It was perfect for us because we had both done our share of dating. Every person is different but 19 is so young -you haven't even begun to experience life yet.
2006-10-14 15:21:40 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋