does anyone know any good ways of boosting confidence or self esteem ?

Question

i have never been that confident ever since my fiance dumped me 6 yrs ago for his ex girlfreind and married her 2 months later as a result of this an bullying at school i have very low self esteem and freak and worry if someone doesnt communicate or respond for a while thinking ive done something wrong or upset them ........ this is also affecting me and my romantic relationships with men.......er.... HELP

Answer 1

yes, i know how you feel and many people do. i know this might be the last thing you want to hear (it was for me), but exercise is great. it's only a start, but when you have low self esteem not only does exercise boost endorphins, which naturally make you feel better, but you will also gain confidence with your body even if the results don't come till later. it's really hard at first to get up and work out or walk or run if you are feeling shitty, but think of what you like. do you like being outside? do a sport or activity outside. do you like dancing ? take an aerobic class or jazzercise. being able to achieve something, like sticking through a work out or finishing a book you've been telling yourself to read or cooking a great meal that you didn't know you could cook are all examples of positive things you can experience. the more you stretch your limbs the better you will feel. i'm not talking about huge steps or that you have to go have 3 hard work outs a week...just take small little steps. it's awful what your fiancee did and that you were bullied at school, but look at you...you are still here and you got through those things. they still hurt, but you go on and that's an awesome achievement. it may not seem like it to you, but you have to remind yourself of how much you are worth and give yourself some credit!! give yourself a little time to sort yourself out, then worry about the men. if you love yourself a little more it will be easier for the men to love you too, because you will be open and confident and ready to show yourself for who you really are. gosh i could type about this forever, because i know how you feel and how worrying it is. you will pull through. good luck!! exercise a little to boost those endorphins (exercise also helps creativity if you are that way inclined), keep a journal, and do the things that you love to do and don't forget to give yourself credit for all the little things you achieve and things that make you YOU.

Answer 2

You sound like me!

Try to say to yourself in the mirror each morning, "I am fabulous and wonderful and I don't care what life throws at me, bring it on!"

Also, do something for yourself, something you've never tried before. Personally I recommend college courses or evening classes, as this is what helped me out of the self esteem and confidence issues.

Also, getting on with your life and not waiting around for others helps. Other people have their own lives and sometimes when you're down it seems that they haven't got time for you. This is just part of adulthood - everyone disappears into their world of work, partners, family, etc etc.

I don't know how old you are, but if you haven't hit 27 or 28 yet, then look on the bright side. Saturn's influence means everything turns upside down at that age and I'm pretty sure you'll come out of it a much more confident person.

Answer 3

You need closure, and thats hard to come by. Somehow, someway, you need to convince yourself that what happened happened, and it's over. Nothing you can do. It has nothing to do with you, but with him. If he did that, then it was doomed for failure anyways, and honey, you'd rather be a dumped fiance, than a divorced woman.
Stay loose, and don't get too serious with anyone. Have fun, have sex, and travel. Exercise as well. Exercise is one of the biggest confidence boosters. Eat healthy, and lay off the fatty foods and the booze. Total depressants.

Good luck...

Answer 4

esteem is defined as something of value to you. Low self-esteem is lacking such value. Do something for yourself to increase that value and you will increase your self esteem. Go shopping and buy some fashionable clothing. Go to a hair salon or get a manicure. Spend some time with you family. Just do it! It works.

Answer 5

Why, at your age, do you want to impress men? Just concentrate instead on your schooling, and thus obtain really good exam results. That will give you plenty of confidence to enable you to handle the adult world.

Answer 6

Hi, you sound the same as me,i think its just because youve got a sensitive nature.You could join a confidence course, although i havent but it may work good luck J

Answer 7

yes!!! i used to suffer from low self esteem. try this.

buy yourself some thing that YOU think is sexy, not cute, but SEXY that makes you feel like a woman.
try a new lip gloss or get your hair colour changed. remember if you don't love yourself how can you love someone else!!! write doen your feelings in a journal. once a week on sunday open it and read it and try to find ways to change the negativity in your life and always remember LOVE YOURSELF!!! LIVE YOUR LIFE!!!

Answer 8

You should get make over and go to some couseling. I have had the same problem. Men can be jerks so don't listen to them just pick yourself up and carry your self with pride one day you will me the right person. So don't be discourged.

Answer 9

Well, alcohol for one. There are two types of confident people; those who think that everyone else thinks they're great, and those who don't care what everyone else thinks. The first is probably unattainable unless you were born that way, the second is easy and just takes practise.

Answer 10

Try hypnosis. You are a worthy person and you are justified in feeling that way. It isn't false modesty. Don't wait until you are 40 to realise it. You deserve and can get love, friendship, whatever you want.