my son won't listen when he comes home from dad's until he's been with me for a few days, what can i do

Question

my 3 year old is terrible when he comes back home after being with his father for a few days. he doesn't listen and he hits and does everything he's not supposed to. my ex has practically told me that he doesn't disipline him and that he's tryin to play "good guy bad guy" with me being the bad guy. when my son is with me for an extended amount of time, he will do what he is told, with the occasional tantrum-but that's normal-. it's to the point that i dread him even going to his dad's. anyone got some advise on how to get him back in our routine quicker? because his dad refuses to help out on this.

we are currently in and out of court on custody and visitation. right now there is an order stating that his father gets him 3 days and then i get him 3 days, and so on like this, i'm trying to get that changed. it's very cunfusing to a tot his age.

Answer 1

Hmm, you're really asking about ex-husband management and that's a difficult one. Your 3 year old will soon get the idea that rules are different in different places. You need to hold firm and keep to your principles. Be quick to 'punish' and just as quick to praise. I'd refuse to get into talks about what dad lets him do when he's old enough to try that out. Good luck.

Answer 2

Discuss with your son that daddy my have different rules but he has to listen when mommy tells him something. If it is not court ordered then tell his daddy that he either has to get on board and the two of you come to some sort of an agreement, or your son doesn't go with his daddy. Your son's dad doesn't seem to have any good intentions for your son. He is only hurting that innocent little boy and if he is man enough then he should be able to understand that there has to be boundaries that is set in stone for your son. If things don't get better then maybe a parenting class or counseling to come to an agreement on this. This is HUGE problem because this is the most important time to teach your son that he has to respect adults, and if mommy, daddy, grandma, grandpa, etc say that something is wrong then he shouldn't do it no matter who he is with.
Stay positive about his dad and even if the dad does something that really makes you mad don't ever let your son see you mad at his dad. This will only make his feel like he needs to choose a side and he definitely don't need to do that.
I am not just throwing all this info at you without some experience in a similar situation. My nefew goes to his moms were there are other children that he can be mean to and have no consequences. Then I babysit him through the week when his daddy has him and he thinks that he can be mean to my daughter and have no consequences. It takes about three to four days to staighten him back into the great child that he can be. Nothing has really worked for me beacause I am not the parent but he still has a pnishment if he's mean (corner time, early nap time, not being able to play out side). But if he was my kid I wouldn't allow him to go to his mothers if she wouldn't get on board. Recently she's gotten better and his mood has also gotten better. Give it a shot.
Good luck in all your endeavors.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

u need to spank his *** real good, That is what my sister does when her daughter comes back home from her dads house. Her dads spoils and loves her, and let her do whatever she wants, so when she comes back, she tries to disobey my sister. My sister will snatch her up, and say "hey you will respect me in the house you understand little girl?" and will spank her on her booty. And my neice will cry and crap. but we dont care. she needs to obey and mind how she treats her mom. you damn right. and i dont care who gets offended by this, this is not child abuse. You cant let the child be an adult. You have to be an adult, I talk to my 2 year all the time about things she cant do. But if she continues to do them and looks at me when shes doing something wrong, yes her spank her *** too.

Oh and another thing i must add. This guy told me that he picks his son up for the weekend and then when he takes him back home to the mom, he gives the son a sucker and lots of candy to eat on, so he cant be full of sugar and give the mom a hard time. i told him that was evil for him to do that. And if i were her i would have been picked up on that, and not let the son go with him anymore.

Answer 5

wow - no wonder he is your ex. What an f-ing idiot. how selfish. Cut down the times/days he spends with him. He obviosly DOESN'T have your child's best interests at heart. - ask him if he is proud of the quality of fatherhood he is providing. Jerk.

Answer 6

You have to think at his age. He is being completely normal. But you need to maintain your consistency and he will pull through. He is trying to test you.

Answer 7

i hear this so often sometimes i think its all in your mind and maybe just a bit jealous that your son gets along with his dad better than you.
ever think of this

Answer 8

the dad must tell him bad things about you.

Answer 9

SHE NEED TO STOP HIM FROM GOING TO HIS DADDY HOUSE.ARE LET HIM GO LIVE WITH HIS DAD.