I am and I'm started to worry. His mom just died. I went down the for a week to comfort him, but had to come back home because school was starting. He said it's nothing. That his feeling hasn't change. But sometimes he doesn't answer his phone. And when we do talk it never as long as it use to be. It's only for about 30 minutes. Do you think I'm using him to another girl? Is he just stressed out? Maybe he's just not in to me anymore?
2006-10-14 08:22:33 · 16 answers · asked by Heaven 2005 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've had a few long distance relationships in my time. They are hard, and both of you have to be very committed to each other to keep it going on. It was great of you to go to see him when his mother died, and I'm certain no-one appreciates it more than he. There are a few pointers to keep in mind about phone calls:
1. He may not be in to answer your calls. You are not there to see or know where he is, nor should he/you report to each other your every move. Just find it in your heart to accept that your timing is off, he could be shopping, showering, in a noisy place and not here his mobile, ... And when you reach him, just act as if you got him on your first try without cross examining him. It is doubtful that he is ignoring you.
2. Don't spend your precious phone time with him cross examining him (then he may start avoiding you). Don't time the length of the call. You can have a two or 5 minute meaningful talk once or 4 times a day, and that can be nicer than a half or one hour conversation. It is just the connection that both of you need to maintain.
3. Fone calls are nice, but so are a few texts (not 10 or 20)... a line of: miss you, or thinking of you, or hope you're day is great, will do loads for him, or 'let's have a coffee together now'.
4. Email each other a few lines or paragraphs daily. That is nicer, and cheaper, than phone calls. And both of you can read and reread the email throughout the day. The contents could be about your plans for the day in the morning, and some lovey dovey stuff, and at the end, a brief summary of your day and more lovey dovey stuff.
Maybe he's not into you. But don't jump to conclusions. And don't push anything. Leave it natural with breathing space for both of you. And live your life fully even while you are apart.
2006-10-14 08:38:04 · answer #1 · answered by Amber B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've had long distance relationships being a navy sub wife. There were months we didn't talk. You need to ask him how he feels, and remember that guys have a hard time expressing their feelings. He could be depressed and not feel much like talking to anyone. He just lost the first woman he ever loved, his Mother. He has alot to go over in his mind to come to terms with not having her in his life anymore. Just make sure he knows that you're there to talk anytime he needs you. Just give him more time to heal from this horrible wound left in his heart. I'm sure you're there somewhere.
2006-10-14 15:31:13 · answer #2 · answered by DB 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he is just stressed out. I've had this problem before. My ex-boyfriend was upset because he was failing all his classes. Right now I am in a long distance relationship and I can handle it. Don't worry he will talk to you. Give him some time!
2006-10-14 15:32:49 · answer #3 · answered by Megan S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hard to say what is up in a long distance relationship. Mine was bad 2 times. A boyfriend I had before I got married was sleeping with his neighbor& my husband was in training before going to Iraq & I found out he met him a hotty from the PX & spent the night at her house. By the way nothing happened .She is 18 & he is 34 LOL. So you need to really get to the bottom of this before you are left broken hearted by trial & error.
2006-10-14 15:30:06 · answer #4 · answered by "karma" 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well maybe he is stressed out and it could be that he has someone else. only way you would know if you ask him. some long distance relationship don't work out. i have a long distance relationship and we talk on line and on phone and it have been three years and we are still together. visit him as much as you can and ask him to come visit you.
2006-10-14 15:28:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
HELLO!
His mom JUST DIED!
He's a sappy mess right now. People grieve differently and maybe he just needs to deal with it alone,maybe he's worried about breaking down in fromt of you.
Maybe your not able to e the kind of comfort he needs.
The point is he's not answering,dont hound him. I cant say if he's trying to break away or needs time but if you can be supportive ,then do it,but if you feel neglected than leave but if he needs you and you leave,he'll hurt more.
2006-10-14 15:27:17 · answer #6 · answered by TrofyWife 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give him some time. Losing a parent is a hard thing to deal with. Just be there for him. Whatever you do, don't accuse him of seeing someone else. At least not right now. Put yourself in his shoes, what would you need from him? Best of luck to you both!
2006-10-14 15:32:26 · answer #7 · answered by buggaboo 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could just be that he is trying to deal with just losing his mom and doesn't know what his feelings are right now.......some people just need some time to mourn. It may not have anything to do with you, it could be just his way of dealing with things. Men have a tendancy to block people out when they are down and out.
2006-10-14 15:27:02 · answer #8 · answered by Brenda 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's very difficult to maintain long distance relationships. But either way it sounds like your boyfriend is moving on. Let him go; it's really all you can do.
2006-10-14 15:27:55 · answer #9 · answered by mJc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the taugth of that of his mom is you see i have a distance relationship that has not break go to his house and buy him something exciting for him and ask him if he still love you and tell him to come back to schoo and forget about the past
2006-10-14 15:29:08 · answer #10 · answered by Professor okunlola olusoji 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋