How do you get your child to stop throwing tantrums?

Question

My son trows tantrums when he dont get his way and it is really stressful. any solustions?

Answer 1

When my kids were younger they each went through the tantrum phase... My youngest now 9 gets the award for the most all out tantrum ---throwing herself on the floor, kicking, screaming, huge fake tears, and the use of the phrases "You don't love me" and "I am telling Grandma on you"--- (I especially liked the telling Grandma part, as if I was going to fear her telling my mom on me ) She was 5 at the time and threw her tantrum on the floor of the grocery store cereal aisle when informed she was not getting the cereal she wanted because it had too much sugar in it...

We have always called he our little actress because everything she does is theatrical and overly dramatic... believe me you never want to hear and see her tell you about something that happened at school it's a full play and she plays all the parts..

When she started her tantrum my husband and I shared a nod he moved to one end of the aisle and I moved to the other... We kept her in signt out of the corner of our eyes but did not give her the audience to her tantrum she was hoping for.. We let her go full out on the floor.. Didn't do a thing to stop her... After a few minutes she realized she didn't have an audience and looked around and found us...

She ran down the aisle to me and said "I really can't have it?" I said "Yup you really can't have it." At which time my husband arrived back at our end of the aisle... He gave her a 9/10 for the tantrum then pointed out the various security cameras that caught it all on tape... He then asked her if she thought the store would make him a copy of the tape so he could show Grandma...

She turned 10 shades of red as she realized her actions had been caught on tape... Since then there have been minor tantrums... i.e. folding arms and huffing off when told "No" and our favorite going into her room and shutting the door with the phrase "I am so mad I just can't look at you Mom/ Dad / Gennypher(her older sister) ." ... (saves us the trouble of sending her to her room when the tantrum starts)...

My best advise is don't give him an audience for his tantrum, walk away but keep him in sight, put him in his room/the bathroom etc. when he has a tantrum... Once he realizes his tantrums are getting him nowhere and you could careless if he throws one they will stop or morph into a more managable tantrum...

By throwing a tantrum he is showing all his cards in a final attempt to get his way, under no circumstances give in, negotiate, or even acknowledge the tantrum... Throwing a tantrum takes a lot of energy and effort, if he sees that there is no pay-off at the end in the form of getting his way, getting attention(negative or positive) , etc. he will quickly decide the tantrum is not worth the trouble and move onto the next tactic to try and get his way...

Answer 2

Realize that this is very common for children to go thru this. The more attention you give to it the more they will do it. The best bet is if you are at home to let him know that his throwing fits is not going to work and walk away. If you are at a store and he is throwing a fit then I would leave your cart and take him by the hand or carry him out of the store not saying a word and when you either get into the car or home then you let him no that you will never go back to the store again with him if he throw fits. Praise him when he does good things. I walked out the store with my daughter once because she was throwing a fit about a toy and you should have seen the look on her face. She was probably thinking, "Is my Mom nuts." She no longer will throw fits. I warn her before leaving the house that she will not get anything if she doesn't behave and if she does she may have the opportunity to have something. Now mind you some kids no matter what you do they throw fits, but just don't give into it.

Answer 3

If he learns that tantrums will get him is way, he will NEVER EVER stop.

You have to put him in a corner, a naughty spot, an empty room, a time out, whatever and let him have his tantrum until he is done. Once he learns that it is not an effective tool to get what he wants, he will move on to something else. And here is the fun part. Now you have to train him to do the things YOU want, and in return, he will get A FEW of the things he wants.

DO NOT GIVE IN THE TANTRUM OR IT WILL NEVER EVER GO AWAY!!!

Answer 4

How old is your son? I never allowed my children to throw them when they were little(2-3), when they got older they just didn't have them. Now I have heard (by a lot of parents that children do have tantrums) that it is just good to ignore them. If that doesn't work maybe you can have a reward system, if they don't throw tantrums you will reward them with something special. (that is not what they had the tantrum for). Another way (last resort) spank them. But I would only do that if all else fails!

Answer 5

Eek, I do *not* recommend spanking (this will teach him to hit others when he doesn't like how they behave).

If your child is non-verbal, he may be throwing a tantrum because he can't effectively communicate his needs/wants. Try sign language until he can speak in full sentences.

If your son is older, whisper to him that you will be doing something else while he is throwing his tantrum, and to come get you when he's done. Works like a charm in my house as well as the occasional time out (I agree, time out works for a few years but after a few years it's time to change it up).

A co-worker of mine swears by embarassment for an older child (saying something like, "look - - everyone's looking at you!"). Not sure how I feel about that one.

Answer 6

Exactly-the best way is to IGNORE But important is this ignorance should not be taken as lack of attention. The child should be made to understand that you are there to talk to him/her. For that when the kid becomes normal when he sees that parent is not being affected by the tantrum - parent should talk to him immedietly and appreciate him for deciding to put an end to the tantrum and explaining him that playing tantrums would not get him anything-he need to talk quietly regarding any issue and has to accept parents decision-ofcourse he can reason it but should not oppose it.

Answer 7

My sister and I never threw tantrums but my brother did. When he threw himself down on the floor and screamed, my mom told him "You can come talk to me when you can be nice. I don't understand temper tantrums." and then walked off and left him. When he found out he wasn't getting attention, he stopped. He only did it a few times. I can say anything from personal experience though, as mine is still in utero.

Answer 8

Make sure he's safe...then IGNORE HIM!!
He's doing it to get your attention and/or get his own way on something and the more you try to talk him down or even yell at him (yes, we've all done it) the more he'll do it.
You didn't say how old he is - but I've tried everything and this is the only one that has worked. A couple times I even left a loaded shopping cart in the store and walked out because he was screaming that he wanted something I was unwilling to buy for him. It was embarassing and I had to go make a repeat shopping trip, but after awhile, they get it.
Good Luck!!

Answer 9

~~~its an attention getter,,,ignor (try to keep a watch out of the corner of your eye though,,,to make sure the tantrum isnt so bad that your child could hurt himself) but he is doing it for attention and soon he will realise that he isnt getting attention,,,,I believe in positive reinforcement,,, when his tantrums are less and less,,,reward him and let him know that you appreciate him acting like a big boy,,,,,,

Answer 10

He wants attention? Give it to him - in the form of a pants-down, over-the-knee spanking. It is especially effective in public places.

One of the reasons we have so many teens doing unthinkable things these days is that they are not aware of consequences for their actions. "Time-out" DOES NOT WORK!