So-oo many military people marry, cheat, and divorce that im wanting to know if i should wait 3yrs for him to get out before we actuallyget married? i know no one really gets into a relationship with intentions of cheating and divorce but since in the military it seems so much higher i think ide rather wait till he is out so avoid my chances. i have no idea what to do?
2006-10-14 07:08:35 · 10 answers · asked by monicawelln 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
only scared of cheating because one of my girlfriends is kinda into...screwing everyone's husband( i obviously dont approve) i see how she tricks these guys into making them feel like "superman" and she acts like a poor pathetic whore who would die without getting ***!
i love her to death but what if someone like her gets ahold of my man!? some girls like to screw others relationships up b/c they cant have a good one of their own...
so this is why i wanna wait till outta the military, seems like their are more girls like this around him b/c being in the military its hard to have relationship sometimes so they screw others up..i have alot of girlfriends in the military so i know a lot arnt like this but some are...
2006-10-14 07:42:58 · update #1
A person who is going to cheat is going to cheat whether he is in the military or whether he is in Congress. the JOB has absolutely ZERO impact on a person's cheating.
You either trust your BF to be faitfull, or you don't. If you don't, then don't marry him, now or ever. If you do, then only you can decide when is the best time to do so.
2006-10-14 13:28:37 · answer #1 · answered by Mrsjvb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The rate of military divorces is no higher than the rate of civilian divorces. That's just crazy. Of course, if that's the kind of person you choose to hang around with, you're asking for trouble. You know what she is. Don't expect it to be put in front of a man and then him not go after it. That's kinda stupid. As far as waiting, he might decide he doesn't want out in 3 years. There's been many men that decided to make it a career. What do you do then. IF he's going to cheat, he'll do it while you're just dating. You won't be there for him when he needs you to be. He'll be alone. As far as being married and him cheating, if he's a cheater, it won't matter. You should already know. However, forcing him to be around people like your "friend" will just add to temptation. There are military wives and there are GOOD military wives. Good military wives, their husbands don't cheat. They're there for their man and they support and love him. The other wives go out and party and hang around other women like your "friend".
I've been married to my hubby and the Army for 18 years. I have NO doubts that he's NEVER cheated on me. We love each other and hate the seperations. We keep communication open. We believe and trust in each other. In fact, we love each other MORE after all these years than the day we got married. We look forward to retirement and growing old together.
2006-10-14 08:03:45 · answer #2 · answered by HEartstrinGs 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People don't cheat because they're in the Military, they cheat because they have no respect for their spouse. Being apart isn't going to make someone a cheater, even if they're apart for months, and in some cases like some soldiers in Iraq, a few years! If you're in a committed, loving relationship, time apart isn't going to change that.
I know that there are also some wives/husbands of the active duty member that cheat when their spouse is on deployment, but again, that's just because they have no respect for their self or their loved one.
I can tell you I have been a Military wife for almost nine years, and my husband has never given me any reason in the world to not trust him, and we have been apart a lot! I know there are people that try to say all Military men cheat, but it's simply not true. We have a lot of friends that are also Military, and they have healthy marriages as well. I know how respectful, loving, devoted and caring my husband is when it comes to me and our relationship. I know when he's away from me and our children, his only thought is to do his job, get done quickly but right, and get home to us. We make every effort to stay in contact with one another when he is gone, and we do everything we can to make up for missed time when he does get back home.
If you want to get married, you need to marry someone that you know will respect you no matter what! You need to know in your heart that this person wouldn't cheat on you, and that you wouldn't cheat on him when you're away from one another. And I'm telling you, trust is a must in any marriage, but especially in Military marriages! In a lot cases, you're going to be separated from each other often, and you'll only drive yourself crazy wondering what he's doing if you don't trust him.
Whatever you decide to do, Good Luck! I wish you the best!
2006-10-14 08:03:46 · answer #3 · answered by Naples_6 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you issue is not the military but the trust you have in your boyfriend.I dont think you should get merried just jet until you resolve this issue. If he is going to chet he will no matter what. I am a military spouse and I tell you its not easy. It takes a very strong, flexible, understanding kind of person to deal with the challenge of beign a military spouse. the schedules are crazy, they are constantly comming and going, plus theres war going on so chances are he will be deployed and you wont be able to see him for a long time. If you think you can handle that on top of your trust issues the go ahead an d maarry that men and be happy. Good luck to you
2006-10-14 08:36:05 · answer #4 · answered by xadralix 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Heart... has it wrong. Statistically marriages between serving soldiers and their wives DO have a higher failure rate than marriages between civilians. I use this terminology carefully. We do not become Military wives because we do not marry the military, we marry a man who is in the Forces.
The reasons so many of these marriages fail is myriad but if one considers that Private Soldiers have an average reading age of 9, that many marry very young, that they often marry women of low intellect, and without solid family structure, who are unable to cope when they are posted, or left alone for long periods...the list goes on.
It takes a particular strength of character to conduct a happy marriage with a Serviceman. I am married to a Senior British Officer. We are devoted to each other but have to endure very long separations. I have the very best man there is, so would never contemplate anyone else but I can understand how hard it is for young girls, perhaps in unstable marriages. We end up picking up the pieces when the situation falls apart.
You are right, and sensible to question marrying now. I thought about it for years, during which time we conducted an extremely happy relationship but I wasn't sure I was Senior Officer's wife material, and I wasn't sure that I could cope with the lifestyle that my husband's position dictated ie: I would rather be dead than go to a coffee morning! Many compromises were agreed during that period which exist to this day. We have our own home off base, I retained my career (independence is important) our children have had continuity of education because we have not dragged them around the World (although mostly nowadays it's unaccompanied tours of war zones rather than foreign postings!) and I accompany him to Mess functions but he also attends as many of my work functions as he can.
Perhaps it's worth sitting down with him and expressing your concerns and reaching agreement about how you will both conduct yourselves if you choose to marry whilst he is still serving. I wish you love & happiness.
2006-10-14 12:30:50 · answer #5 · answered by Kitty 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
LOL......If a man is going to cheat, he is going to cheat. It doesn't matter if he is military or a deacon in the church, or an insurance agent. He also has to trust you too. You will have more opportunities than he will. The military is no better or no worse than any other corporate office or factory floor. If you don't have trust in him, then you better move on to someone you can trust.
2006-10-14 07:17:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he's the kind of guy who will cheat while he's in the military, he's the kind of guy who will cheat out of the military. If youthink he's that kind of guy, maybe you should wait to get married until you are more trusting of him.
2006-10-14 07:18:48 · answer #7 · answered by Leda 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You get married, and then he has to take you to DEERS alongside with a cutting-edge identity, your ssn (i've got self belief) and your marriage certificates. after which you would be able to desire to have your based identity and be enrolled in Tricare for insurance purposes. truthfully he has to do each and every thing you purely could take a seat there and look exceptionally.
2016-10-02 07:18:57 · answer #8 · answered by laseter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Military marriages run the same risks as civilian ones .
Actually , not being married gives him more reason to get laid elsewhere .
If you trust him , marry him
It sounds like you don't trust him
2006-10-14 08:09:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love him...and he measures up to your standards so far...go ahead an marry him. Do what is best for you both.
I take it he hasn't cheated so far...and he brings that 'warm fuzzy feeling' to your heart. So go ahead...nothing in this world is a given...
You never know what tomorrow may bring...
2006-10-14 07:39:22 · answer #10 · answered by seabreezzzee 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋