what do I say? how do I say it?
2006-10-14 05:38:17 · 6 answers · asked by catchup 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Assuming that she is a friend already, and you don't want to ruin the friendship, you have to go slow. Don't just blurt it out, but ease into the subject when it's just the two of you with no distractions.
I suggest you ask her out to dinner. While you don't have to use the word "date" (it might make her nervous), you need to make it clear that it will be just the two of you. Possibly tell her that you would like to have dinner together, and you have something you want to talk to her about. If she's a friend, she'll probably be more than happy to go along. Once you're seated and gotten at least your drinks, then start to talk to her. Ask her to hear you out before she says anything; it will be easier if you can state your side before you have to possibly defend it.
First, tell her how much you value her friendship, how much she means to you, all the great times you've had together, etc...
Second, say how you would never intentionally hurt her, you respect her, you value her opinions, etc...
Next, list all the things you like and admire about her, her sense of humor, her caring nature, her intelligence, etc...
Then tell her that lately you've developed deeper, more romantic, feelings for her than just friendship.
Make it clear to her that you don't expect anything from her, you don't want to push her for a change, you don't want to end the friendship, but you thought she had a right to know how you feel.
Then sit back and let her have a chance to think about what you said with no interruptions. If she's quiet for a few minutes, it's OK. At least you know she's thinking about what you said. Wait for her to respond before you say anymore.
If she feels the same, then just take it from there like any other date.
If she says she doesn't return your feelings, but doesn't want to ruin the friendship, it's up to you to put her at ease and let her know how you want to deal with this. The smart thing to do would be to back off, and continue the friendship. After a while of thinking about what you said, she may decide to give you a shot after all. Sometimes friends make the best relationships, and most women know this.
If she gets upset, then you have to calm her down, and remind her that you aren't asking anything of her. You just wanted to be honest with her. She should respect that much at least.
If she decides that she wants to end the friendship with no further discussion, then it's her loss and she wasn't worth your efforts. It will be hard to cope with at first, but you're better off in the long run without her in your life in any way. No person is worth the heartache when they can't at least be understanding to their friends.
2006-10-16 02:31:07 · answer #1 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask for definition in the relationship. Ask her if there is a possibility that the two of you could be more than just friends. Every successful relationship should start off on the basis of friendship, so you have a good start. You also need to be able to tell her why you are interested in moving to the next level.
2006-10-14 12:41:51 · answer #2 · answered by karessakincaid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aw thats so cute!! just say it, but dont be too forward about it. be sweet and original, dont just go up to her and be like: i like u.
2006-10-14 12:43:59 · answer #3 · answered by lhsbeachbabe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
give her a rose! self explanatory
2006-10-14 12:39:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't worry .. just ask her out and tell her just that
2006-10-14 12:39:36 · answer #5 · answered by s a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask her to marry you
2006-10-14 12:39:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋