I started dating this guy a few months ago and everything was going really great until I started noticing a few weeks ago that he seemed a little distant. Right about the same time, I started taking birth control pills, which turned me into an insane mess...I started doing all the wrong things...you know...questioning him a little bit here and there and snapped at him a few times for no real reason. Now I know you men, especially in the beginning stages of a relationship don't really want to put up with a hysterical woman right? So here's the thing...I know I made things worse so I gave him some space...I know he cares about me, but he's unsure if he really wants to be with me anymore because it's not as fun as it used to be. I know he still talks to his ex-girlfriend...who's 20 years younger than him by the way but she's not that attractive. So I spent some time with him tonight, and acted completely normal...he was pretty affectionate and everything, but....
2006-10-13 21:51:23 · 12 answers · asked by magnolia3246 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I found out tonight that he's been in contact with her a lot, and even wanted to take her out to dinner tonight. I'm not really that mad, because we have been on the rocks and I went out with a guy I used to see last night....it was totally innocent, so probably the same thing he's doing at this point. So my question is, if I can get him to loosen up and have fun with me again and let his guard down a bit, back off and give him his space, but let him figure out on his own that I'm doing pretty much the same thing he's doing....do I have a chance of getting things back to where they used to be? He told me he loved me and used to treat me like I was the only woman alive! What do you guys think? I need some advice...
2006-10-13 21:55:32 · update #1
If you started taking birth control pills because of your friendship you must have had plans. You don't seem sure if the pills came first or his distance. You can' t hang onto this guy by using sex as an attraction. If he isn't really attracted to you he'll stay around for the sex and then move on. I suggest you build a real relationship first to learn if this guy is right for you.
And you could tell him you got weird over a new medication and if he asks what just say, "I'd rather not say."
If he knows you started birth control recently, he will get ideas.
By the way, no sensible man likes putting up with a hysterical woman at any stage of the game any more than a woman likes putting up with a crabby, ornery man.
2006-10-13 22:08:38 · answer #1 · answered by mindbender - seeker of truth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend, (I'm a guy but...)
What are you shooting for? Distance? Space? Baby, there is nothing wrong with you. Go for the gold. Let the 20 whatever have him. It just makes him look older. Believe me when I say that YOU DO NOT NEED TO CHASE US. There are more of you than us AND we're genetically designed to chase YOU! OK, now you're saying,"Yeah...but where are they?" This is a tough one because thousands of guys evenutually give up and end up hermits (not because they're losers...because they give up on love) however!!! everybody has to wash. Married men DO NOT wash their own clothes, meaning if you find a man by himself washing clothes at the laundromat...HE'S SINGLE!!! You are absolutely going to think this is the stupidest thing any person has ever tried but...
Stake him out. If he washes regularly (let's hope) and he's always alone...wait for the dryer (HUH?) After he puts his laundry in the dryer and sits down... put yours in after his. Yes, in the same dryer (no panties...this is not the time for sexuality). Oh MY GOD!!! He'll be put out but courteous (or pick a new guy...and a new laundromat LOL), clothes everywhere, tangled mess, yours...mine...yours, can I buy you dinner to make up for this?
PAUSE. Sad but true male psyche fact... Guys always assume they are smarter than girls. While offensive, assumptions can be used to gain advantage. He WILL believe you when you say,"I can't believe I didn't see all those clothes spinning around in there!"
Good Luck.
Yes, I left you hanging because it's rude to spoil the ending :-)
2006-10-13 22:29:23 · answer #2 · answered by texaspicker0 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes! Never,under any circumstance,take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." You should not confuse your career with your life. Never lick a steak knife. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip. And you should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggest that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
2016-05-22 00:39:47 · answer #3 · answered by Lizabeth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men as a rule do not like control freaks or head cases as this ruins
any chance for happiness! The only one happy is the control nut case! A person who complains all the time and needs their own way all the time ruins life for every one a round them! All they do is destroy what could have been good!
2006-10-13 22:06:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i believe that if you have to make a relationship work then it won't work people who tend to stay together are together because it feels right even if they fight they know it will always work out for the best I suggest that you look deep down and ask if you really like this guy and if you do sit down and talk to him about it either he's gonna not like it which would suggest he's not in love with you or he can tell you it's alright and he cares about you which would make you even closer then you would have that burden off your shoulders I just can't stand anxiety I believe in getting to the point good luck
2006-10-13 21:58:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I know why you asked only men for advice. Woman wouldn't believe your bullshit about the insane behaviour due to the pill for a second.
2006-10-13 21:57:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and for most,, Next time your with him, keep your legs crossed. See if he comes back.
I'm betting he won't.
Then go find a guy that appreciates you. Good Luck
2006-10-13 22:16:12 · answer #7 · answered by bill554904 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just need to be open and honest with him!...Find out what he really wants......maybe hes not happy, or maybe he's noticed this change....honesty is the best......have a good talk with him to see where he's at~
Good Luck
2006-10-13 21:55:40 · answer #8 · answered by jlp165 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The question is now if you WANT to be with him. It's still early and if you have quesions get out before your heart gets too involved.
2006-10-13 21:54:03 · answer #9 · answered by Too Cool For Me 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is gonna dump you. That's my guess.
2006-10-13 22:13:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋