My mom wants to see me married outside the mormon temple so that she may witness is. Is it wrong, then, for me to have sex and live with the man I plan to marry BEFORE we're married? Should my mom be mad, seeing as she wants my wedding to be a civil wedding, completely outside of the church?
2006-10-13 21:02:52 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You're talking about two different things. Where you have a wedding ceremony (for the sake of public access) is a matter of more people being able to enjoy the event and celebrate with you. It isn't a moral issue.
Premarital sex is a a moral and ethical issue, and yes, any mom would be upset and disappointed to find their daughter is having premarital sex against the moral, ethical upbringing she's tried to instill in her daughter.
If what you're trying to imply in your question is some sort of hypocrisy in your mom's response ("If she wants a civil ceremony, she can't care about morals anymore") is naive at best and rather twisted and selfish at worst.
Clearly she wants the best for you, and you trying to equate one to the other is both unfair and unreasonable. I think your mom's right on.
Sorry to be so blunt about it, but hope you consider all this. Best to you.
2006-10-13 21:07:40 · answer #1 · answered by Timothy W 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be wrong to justify to yourself and say "well I am not getting married in the temple anyways so I may as well...". Yes, that is wrong. That is like saying "well, I am not going to go to jail for stealing so I may as well do it" Committing a sin, knowingly, is worse than sinning in "ignorance". You KNOW it's wrong...
It sounds like to me maybe YOU don't want the temple wedding either or you would not even be considering the possibility of having sex with your man. Why in the first place, did you want to get married in the temple? Is it what he wants or you or what because it doesn't sound like it is that big of a deal to you...and believe me, the temple is not a place for someone who is not spiritually prepared for it. You will not appreciate what you are doing there and most of all why.
But, if you really are wanting the temple marriage, don't let anything get in the way of it. Not even your parents. You can still have a ring ceremony outside the temple for them and they can go in and wait for you in the family room at the front of the temple. The whole point of the temple marriage is to bind you two together forever, not so you or your family can have a big show. I am sorry if this sounds harsh...I think some people just take the gospel for granted and do not understand the covenants they are making in the temple. If you are not 100% ready, do not go to the temple...it will be better for you to not make the covenants rather than make them and break them.
2006-10-14 12:39:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Paige:
It is your wedding and your life. While I think it is very important to try to accomodate for your family, it should not be done at the expense of one's moral values and beliefs. There are many other ways to include your mother like a separate ring ceremony and reception.
That said, if you are planning to have sex and live with your future husband, before being married, you will not be having a temple marriage. Fornication (sex outside the bonds of marriage) would definitely disqualify you.
I would definitely say that you should have the goal of a temple marriage when you are both worthy and have spiritually prepared for it. Marriage is supposed to be an eternal and sacred covenant. Meet with your bishop and talk with him about a temple prep class and what other steps you may need to ensure that you are ready and able to enter the House of the Lord.
2006-10-16 20:14:23 · answer #3 · answered by whapingmon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am assuming that you are Mormon. How does your church and Bishop feel about this? How do YOU feel about having a civil ceremony? And no, premarital sex is NOT alright within the boundaries of the Mormon beliefs.
And if you have premarital sex, you should NOT be getting married in the Temple.
Abstain from the sex, get married in the Temple, then have a civil ceremony for your mother and guests to attend.
2006-10-14 10:53:47 · answer #4 · answered by moniquebell 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The word you need to say right now is: "Turpitude." Go to your mother and say "Mom, let us, you and I, talk about turpitude."
How come your mom can't witness your wedding if you get married in the Temple? Ha! I know why! She is an apostate, pure and simple. Likely she smokes marijuana too.
Well, just make her a video of the wedding.
On the other hand, what's the big deal about getting married in the Temple? No, the only advantage is that you will go to Mormon heaven and your husband too, and that's not such a great advantage. What if he turns out to be a bore?
My advice to you is sin a few harmless sins and don't worry -- but don't try to fool your bishop, and don't try to have your cake and eat it too. You may end up in Mormon sin court, and other scandalous consequences.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.
2006-10-14 04:20:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Forgetting everything else, sex outside of marriage should never be considered. You are risking at the very least, a child born outside of wedlock. It is just not worth the risk. Taking precautions can help, but it is not 100% guaranteed. No matter what else, for your own sakes please leave the sex until the marriage is complete. You will have the rest of your lives then.
2006-10-14 04:17:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had a plan to live with a man, but you have not yet married with him. Marry him as per the wishes of your mom.
2006-10-14 04:08:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you're conflicted because you feel guilty, but don't want to be a hypocrite. the Mormon church is like a family with strict rules. you've broken some of these, hence the guilt. your mom made her decision in the past to break with the church and considers you hypocritical to continue. in my opinion you should honor your mom.
2006-10-14 09:01:24 · answer #8 · answered by Sam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What Timothy W says is correct, respect ur moms wishes and wait . Have patience, since ur mom's so happy about ur marriage, why don't u listen to her and stop confusing urself and wait for ur marriage vows
2006-10-14 04:14:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, morals is an easier topic to speak about than type about, here are some strong examples of morals...
http://youtube.com/profile_videos?user=irishdictator
2006-10-17 20:55:31 · answer #10 · answered by SlapADog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋