Here's a Joke to Make Your Day?

Question

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Subject: Anger Management






This fellow obviously has a problem - and way too much time on his hands.


ANGER MANAGEMENT




When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to
take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out
on someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a
phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialled it. A man
answered, saying "Hello."


I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"


Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing number!"
and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could
be so rude.


When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had
accidentally transposed the last two digits.


After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung
up.


I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my
desk drawer.


Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd
call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"


It always cheered me up.


When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'calling
would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the
telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID
Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.


I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" and
hung up.


One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently
waited for.
I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot
ignored me.
I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.


A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his
number on speed dial,)
I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the
man with the black
BMW for sale?" He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I
can see it?"
He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and the car's parked
right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen." I asked,
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?" He said, "I'm home every evening
after five."


I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" He said, "Yes?" I said,
"Don, you're an asshole!"


Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.


Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.


Then I came up with an idea.


I called asshole #1.


He said, "Hello." I said, "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
He asked, "Are you still there?" I said, "Yeah". He screamed, "Stop
calling me."
I said, "Make me." He asked, "Who are you?" I said, "My name is Don
Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree
Blvd, in Fairfax. I have a black Beamer parked in front."


He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying
your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.


Then I called Asshole #2.


He said, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, asshole." He yelled, "If I ever find out
who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?" He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass."
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."


Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34
Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way home to kill my gay
lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down on
Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax.


I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in
time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of
six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.


NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work.

DONT FORGET TO VOTE AFTER READING THE JOKE >^..^< ~ENJOY~

Answer 1

This is the best story that I have read on here. I am still laughing so hard there's tears coming out my eyes. Great job.!

Answer 2

Very funny & effective! THANK YOU! Gave me a stomach ache after laughing for 5 minutes!!!

Answer 3

I so have a friend that would actually do this! I'm gonna print it out to tell him! that was a blast to read! Can't wait to see the fireworks begin....

Answer 4

AHCM That is Master Chief A s s Hole

Answer 5

Well worth reading.... but I hope you didn't give too many assholes ideas!!!

Answer 6

OH my gosh, that is one of the most funniest things i've heard in sooo long!! props to you!

Answer 7

sorry about 2 out of 10 that was s h i xxx get it ass hole

Answer 8

You need a readers digest version!!!

Answer 9

Oh yes, Sure "a s s h o l e"

Answer 10

Excellent choice... for anger management
LOL .... girl this is making my day.
Lol ...enjoy your weekend : -)