am i to young to get married?

Question

im engaged and im 19 i love my fiance to bits but how do i know if im ready for marrage yet he wants to get married in 2008 ill be 21 do you think that is to young to get married. i would be graitful for an honist answer thanks

Answer 1

Hi wants wrong with getting married at 19 im 19 and i have been engaged since i was 16 and im getting married next year when i am 20. If you love that person and you know you will probabley spend the rest of you life with them then go ahead and get married. There is nothing wrong with it as long as you love each other. When i announced that we were getting married my mum and dad were over the moon, but you will get people butting in an saying people dont even marry now and your two younf blah blah blah. But the trick is not to listen. You accepted the invite to be engages to your fiance so you have accepted the marraige. If you dont want to get married then you should talk to your fiancee, especially if you are having second thoughts about marring him. He obviously wants to marry you and if you are messing him around and only love him as a friend, you should let him go and fins someone who can return his love. But if you are just worried what people think then dont. Its up to you and you fiancee no one else. People used to get married alot younger. You should know you are ready when you accepted the engagement. If you arent madly in love and hate the fact to be apart or lose the bestes friend you ever had. Then it isnt to be and you should move on. But how long have you been seeing each other you havent mentioned this .

Answer 2

I'm 19 and I can't imagine getting married yet. There are so many things that I want to do with my life before then. That being said, I also haven't met the right person yet. Your boyfriend is probably very special to you, and being with him has probably changed some of your priorities.

If I were you, I would try to look ahead a few years. Of course love and respect are important aspects of a good marriage, but you also need to consider plans that you have and how being married might affect them. Are you in school? Is he? Will you both be finished by then? If not, are you prepared for how this could affect your marriage? Are you financially stable? If not, have you worked out a plan to make yourselves that way? Money can cause huge problems in a marriage, and when you're so young, I think it's something that you really need to consider closely.

Remember, once you're married, it's not just about how your decisions affect you. It's also about how they affect the other person. You must both be prepared to compromise.

In the end, it's really up to you. Decide what will work best for both of you after you evaluate some of the things I've talked about. Perhaps a lot of it seems irrelevant, because you have already been living together for awhile and have already confronted some of these issues. If this is the case and you still feel unsure, carefully consider why. Is he really the one? If yes, then what's holding you back? Not that I've ever been engaged or anything, but I think that you should be going into a marriage excited, and a little nervous, but not doubtful.

Best of luck!

Answer 3

It's a good question, but you and your fiance probably should sit down with a minister to go over premarital counseling. Many pastors want to do this.
The reason I suggest to do this now, is that way you and your fiance could explore some of the questions you both may have as to whether the two of you are ready for this step.

The most important ingredient for a happy marriage is not love. It's commitment to one another. Are you both willing and able to make a commitment that no matter what happens you will work things out:
including sex issues
Childcare differences
Children or no children
Spending/saving habits
Who will do what housework
Who has the final say on things
Spending time together or spending time with other friends
Who pays what bills

It will take more than loving your husband to bits to keep a marriage going.

Are you truly committed to one another when you are tired and the kids need someone to watch them, is he going to help out

What about thoughts on death and dying

I've been married for 17 years and marriage is not easy. Romance fades, but the commitment is what will get you through those times when you won't always like each other. And there will be some times when you really get annoyed with each other and you will fall in and out of love with your husband. Are you both prepared for these issues?

That's the bigger issue here (how committed are both of you to staying in this marriage for life)...not how old you are. If either of you are unsure about whether you can make it for the long haul, talk over the issues before getting married. You still won't come up with every issue on the planet. But you want to make sure you can stay together, especially after you have kids.

A good test would be to read some of the issues that you see on this website on marriage and divorce. Talk over those scenarios with your fiance and see how the two of you handle those issues. If you both feel you can work those types of issues out, then you are probably ready for this level of commitment.

Answer 4

Hi there. Firstly I'd say that age is just a number and at the end of the day whether you get married or not has nothing to do with what anyone else thinks. It's your decision,so if you feel ready go for it, but if you're having a few doubts then wait until you are ready. It sounds like you really think a lot of your fiance and that he does of you, so if you want to wait I'm sure he will wait for you too.

I don't know how you'll "know" if you're ready or not,I guess you just will, but there's no hurry. I think it should be something you really want to do. If it doesn't feel right at the moment and you don't know if it will in two years time, then I wouldn't set a time limit on it, I'd wait until you were comfortable with it, and I'm sure your fiance would understand that.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

Answer 5

21 is still to young to be married at least in my opinion. If you love one another doesn't matter if you are married or not you will still be together. Consider living together before marriage and see how it feels like being married.
21is the best time of your life. You want to to explore and enjoy being a young woman. Don't get me wrong marriage is a wonderful thing but just not at 21.
I am 29 and just got married a yr ago and glad I didn't get marry any younger. I had the best time of my life when I turned 21 (going clubbing, bars, traveling w/my gfriends, and so much more. Once you are married things are alot more different...You have a lot more responsiblities. You can't pack up your bag and fly out for the weekend with your friends. you have a partner to think about.
You will know when you are ready for marriage. You will feel it in your heart . Afterall, marriage is a lifetime commitment. You want to make sure the person that person is the right one for you. Best wishes to you

Answer 6

I don't think age has anything to do with it, it depends on your maturity and if your ready. The fact that you are asking the question makes me think you are not ready. You have time to think about it though, talk your fears through with your partner, if he loves you he will understand and will wait longer if you need it. Don't let him push you into it, make sure you are ready it is a big decision. I would also suggest living together first, if your not already. I found you get to know the person a lot better and get a better idea of what being married to the person would be like. Don't let anyone put you off either, it is nothing to do with anyone else it is totally up to you. I don't think 21 is too young as long as you are ready. Take as much time as you need.

Answer 7

I have not even seen the answers that my peers have put out there for you, but if you have to ask.... you know? If you ever once question (let alone seek advice from strangers) then you may want to seriously re-evaluate you options. Try living together for an extended period of time to make sure this is what you both want. Key in on the both part, what you want is not enough. Go see a priest, regardless of how religious you are. These guys are more than willing to talk to you and I really recommend going to see one with your hubby to be. Pre-marriage counseling is a great tool, especially at your young age. The divorce rate is so high anymore that these decisions become even more crucial. Bottom line... society determines its norms and values and a marriage certificate/license is just a piece of paper that a will and a power of attorney can equal. The spiritual and emotional side of marriage are what count in a marriage. If you can live without it (as well as he) then do it.

Answer 8

well legally and everything you are not to young but in my opinion i agree with your boyfriend. You are only 19 you have not had a chance to be a single adult you have to get your life together before you start a life with someone else. Most people who marry young dont make it dont know why but it probably has to do with the fact that you both have some maturing to do and as you mature you change and sometimes that drives you apart and not closer. Look at it this way if you guys make it to 2008 and are still together you probably will stay married and that way you can confidently enter marriage without having to worry as much about if it was the right time. It also seems that even thought you are ready he is not since he wants to wait, you should respect his wishes and wait untill he is ready.

Answer 9

Engaged at 19 !! You are also insane !!! And so is he !! Do you have any idea what marriage involves ? It is quite a bit more than lovingly holding hands and saying "I love you" The youngest age to start THINKING about marriage is 25...TWENTY-FIVE !! Not to marry but to START THINKING ABOUT MARRIAGE is 25
Being married is heavy ! It is great if you CAN TAKE ITS DEMANDS !! Anyone can have sex. Any guy can make a girl pregnant but it takes MATURITY to sustain a marriage even a happy marriage. If you're not mature, you will live in continuous panic ! It is like being at the controls of a jet airliner and not having a clue how to fly it !! How can you otherwise explaint that about 30% of marriages in Europe end up in divorce ? The only marriages between too young pople that last are the ones FORCED BY CULTURE.. arranged marriages for example.

Answer 10

Hi pet well the answer to your question all depends on how long your together,how well you know each other,do you trust each other, do you have respect and honesty in your relationship.Your an adult now you are old and wise enough to know if its what you want and if its the right thing to do.Your talking about getting married 2008 im definately sure that by then you will no the answer and only you will no how you feel no one can tell you and if you think its the right thing to do then do it girl.I hope everything works out for you congrats on the engagement.