He's 17 years old and doing quite well in school, was state champion for 140 lbs division in wrestling last year and already got accept in a university in Sweden to study Archieture. He have never really show any closeness or love toward anyone but his grandma and his current girlfriend he has been with for seven months.
This summer his grandma passed away and it totally devasted him. He hasn't really talk to anyone much, doesn't really tell things anyone but his grandma or girlfriend. He seems to be getting more and more aloof toward everyone everyday that I think he actually is starting to not like anyone.
This is really driving the whole family crazy since he doesn't tell us about anything important, doesn't really talk, and doesn't even seem to have any interest in family activity. His grandma is only one who he would go up to and talk about his problems.
I know he seem tough outside but he's all mushy and soft inside. My mother have told me many time that he often cry at
2006-10-13 17:19:21 · 16 answers · asked by Mary M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
slightest problems such as losing a wrestling match, argue with family, bad grade, and other things. My mother is only one he's alway extremely open with about everything.
Now that she's gone, he doesn't talk with anybody about his problems. He also go to his grandma's place of burial once or twice a month and stay there for hours.
I'm starting to get really worried. will he be ok? How do we get him to talk to us like he did with his grandma?
2006-10-13 17:22:24 · update #1
I agree with the first answer.
Give him time.
I was like this when my grandfather passed away.
I honestly loved my grandfather more than my parents and brother.
I found him dead in my house and it devastated me.
I wouldn't eat for days on end, no sleep, and my brother was worried because I was really quiet.
Eventually, I started opening up to my brother and then to the rest of my family.
It took me a while to get over it, but I did.
And so will your son.
I was also the same age.
2006-10-13 17:27:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since your the mother you should approach and try asking him if there is anything he would like to discuss with you. Tell him I know how close you were with your grandma and let him know that your always be by his side. If he has any problems he should not be afraid to tell you. Just show some affection that you really care about him and have him open up to you about his problems. He can only be happy around his family members if he knows that everyone
cares about him and not just constantly judging him. I hope everything works out better for ur family especially your son.
2006-10-13 17:27:32 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that he is grieving and crying is just a part of it. Not doing as well in wrestling means that his mind is just not on what he is doing.
However, he may slip in a state of depression which can be dealt with by seeing a doctor for counseling or maybe he might even need medication to help him throught the hard part.
A lot of people get stuck in the anger stage of grief. It seems that may have happened to him. Buy a book on the different steps of grieving and give it to him.
Be kind and sweet to him, let him know that you are there for him but do not push yourself on him. If you notice that he is getting worse, you need to have your parents take him to see a doctor.
I wish you and him the very best my dear.
2006-10-13 17:34:50 · answer #3 · answered by callylily55 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that sometimes young men push away from mom, sister, or others just to define his manhood. Sometimes they need to do this in order to cope with things that hurt inside, like the loss of a loved one. He will probably be o.k. Just let him know that you are there for him and love him. Give it some time. He is a man now not a boy. Maybe he is just trying to be independent
2006-10-13 17:59:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
research and find a good therapist for him. Then ask if he is willing to try it out. A therapist can also help you as the parent learn how to deal w/your son. It does seem like he does need an intervention sooner than later. You need to make sure he is not suicidal or very depressed. I do not the the relationship you have to him so it is hard to suggest how you as a parent shoudl interact w/him
2006-10-13 21:34:55 · answer #5 · answered by chill'n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how your feeling! When my son was 19 he lost his (best friend) His Papa, My son idolized him. Sadly he passed away as i said' leaving behind a lost boy ( my son) So i know your sadness and feeling that need for out side help. Please take it from a Parent , Seek a comfortable therpist to talk with. He needs to let out all his frustration and anger, He has to do this.
I did nt with my son, he turned to drugs and alcohol not this family. It's been a few years now and My son has grown into a Man and Parent himself. All im saying is try and try dont give up' seek help and stay involved.
2006-10-13 17:31:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will be fine. He may never be the kind of person that shows his emotions, but as time passes he will get over his loss, maybe not completely, but he will. This is probably his way of dealing with pain, and you are his mother, so naturally you don't want him to ever feel pain. He will confide in someone, one day. Don't worry mom, he will be fine.
2006-10-13 17:27:34 · answer #7 · answered by melanie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i remember when my grandpa died, i felt about the same as your son seems to. i was 18 and he was my everything so when i lost him, i turned all my feelings inward, wouldn't talk to my family and would actually push them away if they tried to hug me. I drank i fought and i slept around, before i realized that all those things were just making me emptier inside. Offer him counselling (schools sometimes have this for students, it's free) and always tell him you love him and let him know he can talk to you. Talk to his girlfriend and work together with her so he knows he has people who care. It will take alot of time but he'll get through it, especially if you don't change. Care for him, but when he pushes, push back (say he starts comin in late, etc. discipline him as you normally would) and always tell him you love him. It'll sink in, i promise
2006-10-13 17:27:01 · answer #8 · answered by latinsmama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try reaching him the same way Grandma did. or just let him know that you're ALWAYS available to talk and tell him that you love him, a lot!
2006-10-13 17:51:21 · answer #9 · answered by breaker_1020 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mary, do you pray for him? If yes, trust that he is in good hands but do keep praying. I will pray for him as well....right now.
Dear Heavenly Father, You sent your son that we might have life and have it more abundantly. You know each one of us by name and even the number of hairs upon our heads. Father God, I pray for this young man whom you made so gifted that You will do a healing work inside of him. Lord, please touch his heart and help him to open up to his family. Please soften the shell he is hiding inside of. Lord, whatever the reason is for his depression please address it and bring him out of it completely. You can do all things and I pray that you bless this young man right away.
In Jesus' Name, Amen.
2006-10-13 17:28:54 · answer #10 · answered by Red Birds 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋