MY ex and I broke up last year . I met someone new in the spring and we have been together since March. The new person I am with everything was fantastic at first; however, there seemed to be issues revolving around his ex in the first 4-5 months of our friendship. She would always call him at odd hours in the night and I think they slept together within the first month we were dating. The person at this time wasn't official or anything yet, but I thought it was pretty serious. There have been other incidents that have been cause for alarm. The person I am with has a job that doesn't pay that well. He is always at my apartment and doesn't contribute as much as I would like. He lives at home with his mother.
My ex we use to live together. He contributed 50/50. When I first was with him he really didn't have a good job; however, I was a positive influenced and motivated him to do better. He worked for the township as a dispatcher and is now a correction officers. He wants to marry me
2006-10-13 17:17:36 · 16 answers · asked by JadedEzzence 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If they are an EX... They are an EX for a reason....
Learn from your mistakes
2006-10-13 17:19:01 · answer #1 · answered by USMCstingray 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are not that happy with your new love. His ex should not still be calling him late at night, that's disrespectful to you. If you take your love out of the equation, your ex sounds like the better catch. However, it did not work out with your ex for certain reasons otherwise you wouldn't be with this new guy. Why does that always happen? Guys start doing so much better once it's over, then they want you back after you have decided to move on. As far as your ex, why didn't it work out? If there were financial problems and you motivated him to get a better job which he did, then that should have really helped. So what else was wrong? Was it something about his personality/character? And if you were to go back to your ex? Would it really have changed? You need to consider everything. I think you are looking back at your ex and comparing him to your new love, and your ex is looking like the better package because of your new love's circumstances. But you did say that you were friends with your new love for months. So you knew from the start that he lived with his mother and had a job that did not pay well. So why act like it's so bad now. Why not encourage and motivate him like you did with your ex if you love him? (Point: Your ex most likely wouldn't be where he is now if you didn't motivate him to do something better.) If there are too many incidents happening with your new love and another female and you are unhappy, well quit him, but you don't have to settle for your ex either. most of the time relationships don't work out the second time around. It's just that after a couple has been together for a while through the good and a lot of bad, when they break up--they still miss each other; so they try it again and all the bad things start happening again because neither one of them CHANGED, they just separated so all the problems they had with each other and dislikes come back too. So you don't have to settle for either one of these guys. You can always find someone else. NOTE: Instead of repeating the same pattern, find someone who already has a good job, and has his own place, and who treats you good and does not have ex's keeping in touch daily/nightly or a lot of female friends in his life. Consider everything and make your own decision.
2006-10-13 17:46:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go on a long vacation and don't accept calls from either. Think it through and see who you miss the most. Write down pros and cons and what future you want and have planned for yourself.Make a list of finances, religion, family, future family,past relationship with each,home habits, drinking, smoking, drugs,savings,future income, future traveling and everything else you can think of. If you are still unsure you can ask questions when you get back. Maybe you will recieve clarification then.Absence will help you so much in the decision! Best wishes!
2006-10-13 17:24:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh goodness gracie lady! How do you fall in love with 3 adult men? Edward, your husband, he cheated on you! two times! the 1st suspicion of untrue-ness is whilst that guy could desire to have long gone. once you supply him 2d opportunities, he looses admire for you reason he knows of he can love yet another woman and you not care. He needs to nicely known that not your not likely to tolorate this cheating he doing and as long as your around it wont be occurring. And did you assert you the two produce human beings you're seeing?! that's the main messed-up, weird and wonderful, risky relationship concern I even have EVER herd. Im sorry yet come on lady, Make up your innovations! This isnt severe-college, those arent little boys and you cant play with their hearts like this! that's the genuine international and those are GROWN adult men and it shocks me that somebody could take care of it the type you're. My suggestion, forget all of them. as quickly as thats over, you're able to desire to bypass into your heart and you will discover which guy you opt to spend something of your existence with. no count if its considered one of them or not the time to make a call become a longggg time in the past. i wish i helped hun (: -Chelsea
2016-11-28 04:33:08 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have to listen to no-one & nothing else but, your heart.
If your ex changed for the better for you and because of you.
That says alot about someone and now he wants to marry you.
Me personally I would tell the new guy he's fired and get back w/ the man that is motivated by you. Cause, what next are you going to motivate him to become?
Hope this helps... good luck !
2006-10-13 17:33:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitly your Ex. Your new boyfriend seems unreliable, untrustworthy, lazy, stupid, and just overrated. on the other hand, your ex now has a good job that is willing to pay a contribution into this relationship. i think your ex is ready to settle down with the right woman. to your ex, that person that he wants to settle down with is you. your newboyfriend on the other hand will probably never have a great future and great pay. he is so inresponsible. if he cant responsible for himself, than just dont imagining him having responsibility for you or the relationship. your newboyfriend seems still a bit young and inmature, and he is not ready for anything yet. go for the ex girl. good luck
2006-10-13 17:24:43 · answer #6 · answered by David 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the ex is a better choice for your future. But who do you daydream about? Who are you thinking about when you are working? Go with your heart before you find yourself feeling trapped in a lousy relationship.
2006-10-13 17:21:16 · answer #7 · answered by PuckHead -BH- 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would go for the one who treats you better the one you are with now seems like he doesn't have much responsibility i would want to be with someone that would at least help out more. and not be talking to ex at all hours of the night.
2006-10-13 17:21:12 · answer #8 · answered by nm_chiquita 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i think deep down you know who you want to be with. I mean you had alot of negative things to say about the one you are with mostly good things to say about your X. It it obvious to me that you are not over your x so it would not be right to lead the new guy on.
2006-10-13 17:22:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go fer ur ex as he wants 2 marry u.he is earning and might hav not slept wid another .he is the best choice
happy married life in advance
2006-10-13 17:20:59 · answer #10 · answered by immortal_subbi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋