What kind of flowers do I send - miscarriage and deployment?

Question

A friend of mine had a m/c last week and then her dh was deployed to Iraq yesterday. I have about $55.

Answer 1

Make her dinner instead. She probably doesn't feel like cooking and a meal would be very comforting. When I had a miscarriage a friend of mine brought dinner over and it was so thoughtful. I'll never forget it, all she did was to make a little extra of what she made for her family that night, nothing spectacular, just some chicken, green beans and some bread, but it meant the world to me and my husband. It showed that she cared and wanted to help.

Answer 2

Oh my gosh..... After the week she had, she's going to need more than 55 dollars of flowers...

You can send some, but I would keep it at an "I'm thinking of you" kind of thing, since it's two major things, neither of which have a shelf at the Hallmark Greeting Card store.

I would actually go for a nice plant, rather than flowers. They last much longer and they are so much easier to take care of. You may want to incorporate a yellow ribbon (supporting our troops) and a pink & blue ribbon (standing for miscarriage and stillbirth and SIDS) into it.

Using the Language of Flowers (common in Victorian times, when people would make bouqets of flowers to say something in particular), there are some ideas:

Ivy is for Friendship
Juniper is for Protection
Marigold is for Pain
Mistletoe is for Difficulties (not that recommended, seeing as her spouse is across the world, regardless, mistletoe will be synonamous with kissing)
Oak Geranium is for True Friendship
Pansy is for Thinking of You
Red Poppy is for Consolation
Snow Drop is for Hope in Sorrow

Anyway, there's lots of those kinds of websites out there (listed in "sources") where you can find out things like that. It can make for a meaningful bouquet or plant-gift.

What she could really use, though, is someone to be there for her. However, I don't know the extent of your relationship with her (I was somewhere between an acquaintance and a friend with one woman who miscarried, and she didn't want to see much of anyone for a while, other than family and her best friend). If you have a relatively close relationship for her, actions will speak louder than flowers.

I'm from the smalltown south, and we bring food into everything. In this case, though, preparing a meal and taking it to her, or taking her out, would be a good idea, I think. The postpartum depression that a lot of women get after having a baby is intensified a lot of times in women who miscarry (understandably so). Your friend has been hit with a triple whammy, having lost the baby, having her husband leave, and then having to deal with all this on her own. She could use a friend to check up on her and help her through this time. However, if you aren't already close friends (more like acquaintances), it could be awkward, and while I think taking food and/or sending flowers and a nice note, if your relationship isn't one in which you would hang out together a lot, now probably wouldn't be the time to start.

I hope your friend will be alright.

Answer 3

I do not think the kind of flowers matter, just the thought is plenty. Just write something nice on the card, like "I'm so sorry, call me as soon as you're feeling like talking" would be nice. Just go to the florist, and ask what kind of arrangement can I get for $55.
Roses are always appropriate, but can be a little pricey. A fall arrangement would be fine, too. Just tell the florist what it is for, and they will make sure it is tastefull.

Answer 4

Alstroemeria are long lasting cut flowers, come in many colors and the cost is usually on the low end. The other name for these flowers is Pervuian lillies. Here in CA, they can be found at most markets, flower stands and florist. A good friend is born for a time of distress. Glad your there!!!

Answer 5

Instead of flowers, grab some take out and a few movies, go over, and spend some time with her. She needs you more than the flowers.

Answer 6

I don't think there's a special kind of flowers to send in this situation. Just contact a local flower shop and tell them about how much you'd like to spend.
I think this is very thoughtful of you.

Answer 7

instead of flowers, just be there for her... poor your friend.... I can't imagine what she has to go through. my man is in Iraq... it is not easy spending time by myself. i really have to make myself busy. so far exercise helped me a lot... jogging, yoga...
take care of your friend, will you?... she is lucky to have you as a good friend..
aloha

Answer 8

my thought would be something that blooms and lives. once for a funeral i sent mini roses still on their little bush - they werea living beautful reminder. my mom had african violets in an arrangement after her dad died and she had them for years -and she doesn't have a green thumb! it was a beautiful constant reminder that life will continue no matter how much it hurts right now.

Answer 9

well i wouldnt think it would matter its the though that counts

Answer 10

a bouquet