I realized I forgot to ask my usual question of "do you have kids?" Usually I ask the usual: girlfriend? married? serial killer?...But I forgot that one so I asked him over the phone when we talked again (we still have not gone on the date)-he has two kids. I have a strict policy never to date men with children. I want to experience a family with someone who has not experienced that yet. I don't need a "friend with benefits" and I don't date anyone unless I know I could have a future with them, so what is the most polite way to tell him the truth and how do I get out of the date?
2006-10-13 16:14:32 · 27 answers · asked by speakthetruth 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just tell him exactly what you just said, if he's an understandable guy then he shouldnt have a big problem with it, if he does oh well, you're not trying to be rude, i mean it IS your life and if the family thing is important to you then he should respect that! Good luck!!!
2006-10-13 16:17:51 · answer #1 · answered by Diverse Insanity 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
be honest,that's the best way to go. let him know how you feel about someday meeting someone you can share the rest of your life and share 1st experiences together. such as getting married for the first time,having kids,etc.etc. and then you can just thrown in the fact that you're not ready for a serious relationship at the moment and that right now you just want to experience alot of things on your own b4 you get someone else involved. if he doesn't get the hint by then, then you should start going out on other dates or w/friends and make sure that he hears 'bout it! i'm almost convinced tthat slowly but surely he'll get the hint and realize that you are not the one for him and he'll move on. well if he really loves his kids he would.cuz why would you want to be w/someone you know isn't ready to settle down and is not ready for a commitment?
2006-10-13 23:31:15 · answer #2 · answered by Al O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say, "You know, you seem like a really nice guy, but unfortunately I would rather date a person without kids because I believe that I cannot just go out with someone once without thinking of marriage and children down the road for us." Then he'll realize that you move WAY too fast for him and be glad that you don't want a simple date. The point is, you can go out with him without trying to figure out your future together at this point. Just go and have fun...then don't accept a second date!
2006-10-13 23:20:14 · answer #3 · answered by rdnck_grl_ms_007 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What ever happend to just telling people the truth? Try it sometime and you won't have to ask questions with a obvious answer. Ok don't go for what that chick below we said! There are good men that don't have kids. Many many of them. I wouldn't want a man that had kids either. Maybe when your like 50 that's ok but I doubt you are that old.
2006-10-13 23:18:34 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I say that the most polite way to tell him is that you are sorry but you want to experience a relationship with someone who doesnt already know what it is like to have a family.To get out of the date is just the same way.
2006-10-13 23:20:21 · answer #5 · answered by Duckiezrox 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if i was in your shoes i would just tell him the truth cause lies hurt way way worse than the truth. just tell him you want to experience being a parent for the 1st time with someone who is in the same situation you are not with someone who already has some years under his belt
2006-10-13 23:20:51 · answer #6 · answered by confussed 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately there's no polite way to tell him, but you must tell him now if this is a deal breaker for you. It's not going to help him to think that he's met some great gal, only to have her not return his calls.....tell him the real truth.
2006-10-13 23:19:55 · answer #7 · answered by bardstale 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with him. Tell him you're very sorry, that you forgot to ask him before, and that it's an important thing to you. It's better to cut it off now rather than let him think it could be something when it can't.
2006-10-13 23:19:27 · answer #8 · answered by Cracea 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know your age, but I'll assume that you're in your early twenties.
Just call the guy up, and explain that you are not ready to deal with children. Tell him that you want to date a man, that you want to give you your first child.
He shouldn't be offended.
2006-10-13 23:27:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be truthful up front. Just say that you don't want to date a man that already has children. You don't owe him any further information than that.
2006-10-13 23:18:48 · answer #10 · answered by justwondering! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋