Ever since my mom found out that my boyfriend was BLACK, my mom has hated me and worst of all she shows it and it makes me feel terrible. She calls me names and pushes me she won't beat me becasue she knows i'll call the cops on her. She yells at me for no reasons...so basically i'm on my own. She won't let me do anything and my dad dosen't love me either he tells me all the time he sent me to boot camp 3 times and i've been to three different boarding schools. they give my brother all the attention and he rubs it in m face. No one at school wants to be my friend because they think i'm a rich spoiled brat and i feel real suicidal right now!!!!!!!!!!! so plz help me what shuld i do?!
2006-10-13 14:34:14 · 19 answers · asked by LiZZIE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sounds like you have rich parents.
How old are you?
You are at school, but have a boyfriend!
I reckon maybe you have some priorities wrong somewhere, and this is what your parents are annoyed about.
Decide what you are supposed to be doing, studying or messing about with boyfriends?
Decide what you want to do with your future, assuming that mummy and daddy are not going to finance you.
Housewife or worker.
Is study important for your future, or boyfriends?
Why don't you try to be kind to your parents, and stop asking them for permission to do things you know they don't like.
This is a period in life whem you need to start learning about yourself. Whenever you have a thought, which others don't agree with, think 'Why do I think like this'
'Is it becuase I'm a spoilt child, or is it because I have looked at all the pros and cons and come to a logical informed decision which is in everybody's best interests'?
2006-10-13 15:22:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First it is good that You have come somewhere to talk to someone. It always helps to vent, it is a release. Now You know Your Family better than We do, and if for just a moment You can step back and try to see if You have any part in going to boot camp......just for a moment. Now, it sounds like there was trouble brewing in Your Family long before this boyfriend. What was happening when all of that took place? Do Your parents get along, do they have issues with each other? Are there issues such as abuse, whether mental, which You have already described, or physical? Do You think that You might be seeing this guy because You know it will make Your parents mad, or because He is really a great guy? Chances are if Your Family is being abusive to You, that could make You vulnerable to abuse from a boyfriend. I want You to ask Yourself these questions.
When You are younger, living at home, and being yelled at, life can be miserable, and seem never ending. But this too shall pass, and You need to be here, and ready when that time arrives. And please do not listen to those who would choose to throw water on a drowning person, they too have issues.
You are a wonderful Person, no matter what Your flaws might be, (we all have them), or what You may or may not have done. Please email the Person who offered Her help, and talk to those at Your School that can give You the information You need, such as legal information. You might try scheduling a time to sit both of Your Parents down and telling them how You feel, if that is at all possible. I know with My Dad growing up it wasn't. My heart goes out to You. And I have said a prayer for You. You have to hang in there, and find a way to either have Your current life greatly improve, or find a way to seperate from this chaos.
Best Wishes......and God Bless....
Just Remember that People Do Still Care....
2006-10-13 15:06:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First lets deal with the boyfriend issue. He's black, big deal, let your family be bigots, Kudos to you for your maturity. If only the rest of the world saw it your way. Next is your obviously dysfunctional family. If Mom and Dad really do hate you it's probably their prejudice that fuels that hatred. Your brother is a pain but sorry that's normal. School problems will seem bigger than they really are but you won't believe that because it's happening to you. If you saw it through someone elses eyes you wouldn't be so concerned. The only way for you to be happy at home is to do what your parents want, break up with your b/f and date someone of the same race. Is it right? Hell No! But yours is a very strange situation. If you tell your b/f that you are going to play this scenario until you reach an age where you get to make your own choices and deal with your own mistakes, he may understand. I doubt it though. I guess the question I'm asking is this. Do you want to have a happy home life or do you want to be morally correct. Honestly I think you should go for the happy home life but remember you are much better than them. So much better. Off the scale better. When you graduate, become the person you are now. Mature, honest, and honorable. Suicide will only enforce their views that you were a loser. Don't give them the option of even thinking they are right. They want a rich spoiled brat I'd give them that personality, it would cost daddy more in the long run. Then tell them be careful what you wish for, you may get it!
2006-10-13 15:02:41 · answer #3 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would you have to break up with your bf just because u aint getting no love at home... She shouldnt be trippin.... she an adult she should know how to handle it.. it aint your fault... ask your bf what u should do... just talk it over with him!!! and we can be friends lol!!! i dont know how much pain u are feeling but if u really love your bf and deep down u love your family dont do something stupid like comit suicide it aint the right way to go... if u need more help there are lots os people that are willing to listen and do something about it.... im feel real bad about it i wish i could help you more than this small advice.... just be a strong women and u will get through this... good luck i really meen it i feel it for ya sister... email me if u need to talk about anything eles i will always be willing to listening and try to help.. the best of luck!!!!
anotha point: It sounds as if your family has some racial issues. If they are getting to you counselling is a better route than suicide attemps (be strong, others are wrong),, well sometimes. I know that people have problems with what races date and I don't think it should be an issue any longer. You can make a difference by standing up. Don't ditch the boy cuz of your family. Try and juggle two things. Talk to your family and let them know how you feel about the situation, atleast if they can be calm about it. Maybe phone convo.s are better for now, if your parents want to physically deal with the sitaution. Hope you find help. Now is the time to confide in yourself. Don't bubble things up in you because it leads to stress, tumours, bad actions. Take it nice, slow and easy. I hope your situation gets easiar along the way. Realli hope I could help. Keep your head up high and focus on the positives, not the negatives!!!!!!
byebye
2006-10-13 15:05:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I think you are probably not thinking clearly right now. you don't need that, your parents probably don't understand you right know and it is making them crazy, have you been in a lot of trouble? It sounds like it, doing drugs? If you really need someone to talk to you can always call the county, they don't like to see teenagers in bad situations that might end up in self destruction. I hate hearing it and I have five children. I also remember the pressure of being in school and I am telling you that when high school is done and over it is a thing of the past and it doesn't matter what people thought of you or what boyfriends you had or any of that, do what you think is right, As far as your boyfriend being black, to me that is not a big deal, to your parents it might be I don't know but there is racism everywhere, and if you love him it shouldn't matter what other people think and if they love you and he is a decient guy maybe you can change their minds. Over all you are going to have to live with the decisions you make and please make them well because you only live once and you can go out and be on your own, or try to make things the best you can, but suicide is forever and there is no coming back, it is not cool and just putting this on the internet I would say you need some counseling, a friend of mine in high school killed himself because he thought his parents hated him and none of his friends liked him, I told him if he ever killed himself I wouldn't come to his funeral. He ended up killing himself that december and everyone who knew him was heart broken, I went to his funeral and still cry when I think about it, how I knew and didn't tell anyone, how everyone could have treated him differant. What it came down to was a bad decision on his part, the reason he killed himself was misunderstanding the people around him. I have never seen more people at a funeral in my life. there where many people who cared about him he just didn't see it like that, and only wanted the people who didn't give a crap about anyone but themselves to care about him which in turn ended up badly for him. I miss him a lot and still to this day wonder why he didn't call me. the one who listened to him and tried to tell him it wasn't worth it and I was there for him anytime. If you have anyone in your life who will listen go to them and talk to them about your life, it may save your life, your boyfriends, and theirs!
2006-10-13 14:53:22 · answer #5 · answered by Bonnie K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing you don't want to do is kill yourself. I don't know how old you are but one day you can escape this torture. It sounds as if your family is very dysfunctional.
If you're still in school, can you let the guidance counselor know what's going on? Do you have grandparents, uncles, aunts, anyone who can step into this to stop it. You are being abused. You don't have to get hit to be abused.
Your brother may one day regret being the spoiled brat here because he'll be so dependent on your parents for everything, he won't be able to handle life.
There has to be a way out besides suicide. DON'T DO THAT.
2006-10-13 14:40:24 · answer #6 · answered by Juanitamarie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
\oh my gosh...you really need someone to talk to...in my own opinion, someone's answer on here may not be truly helpful. I think that you should actually try talking to someone instead of asking a question on here or anything. Hmmm...you can message me...I'm always here for ya. Remember...killing yourself is NEVER the right way to escape your problems. Understand? Now hold on tight and take care of yourself. Please don't do anything crazy and keep your mind strong..ignore all the garbage that you hear everyday from your parents and tell yourself that you're better than what they tell you you are...tell yourself you desrve better and that you shouldnt be treated the way you are being treated..and lastly, tell yourself that you're worth living because right now...theres one very special person in this world who cant live without you. ANd in addition, if you ever left this world, I'm sure your father and mother would cry to tears and regret anything they ever said to yu. SO please...message me if you need to but don't takethe bullshit to your head. Okay?
P.S. if you're in middle school or lower than 12th grade...stop dating that guy...he's not worth the time because we all know that true dating and true love only starts when you're mature enough and mature means when youre about 20 years old or so. ANd if you are past 12th grade, think about if the guy's worth all the trouble and problems. Who do you really want to be loved by more...your family or him? And if it's him because you know your family won't change...do you seriously think its a good idea to give him your whole heart? Just think...
2006-10-13 14:40:37 · answer #7 · answered by Lina 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have grandparents who you can talk to? They can probably relate to what you are going through now better than your parents.
If that doesn't work, any favorit aunt or uncle? What kind of support are you getting from your friends and boyfriend. Be strong and surround yourself with people who believe in you. Lastly, just make sure your boyfriend is someone worth all this heartache. Don't just go by his words for the moment or his looks or physical attributes. Make sure he has a good heart and takes good care of you before you fight your family over him.
2006-10-13 14:43:18 · answer #8 · answered by justdennis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, i don't think your mom should hate you just because your boy is black (that's kinda racist) and i think that if you want to make a good friend, don't care about the a-list people, talk to people who are down to earth and won't judge you by what you wear, how much money you have, how you act, etc. (well unless your behaviour towards him or her is not good)
right now, just kida step out of the box, and think about everything that is good and everything that is bad. get a peice of paper and write down everything you can change for the better right now.
Then move on to the things that are harder to change. About your parents...try and avoid starting fights, do nice things for them once in a while to show them you care, if you can- talk to them about how you feel and how you want to be treated...after a while things might get better between all of you.
2006-10-13 14:51:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know how u r feelin' i am not an expert so i am not going to give u any deep advise, but i just want to let u know i will start praying tonight for ur life to get better, and i wont stop untill this nonsense ends, so plz tell me when it does. my heart goes out to u... just think theres only going up from here on.. plz dont kill urself, i will be thinking about this everyday untill this is solve.. remeber my heart goes out to u!! let me know when things start to clear up now cheerup.. i hope my prayers will make a difference ( i am not really the religous type just to let u know but it seems u are going through a lot of trouble maybe this will help) get better soon!! love you bye!!
2006-10-13 15:15:02 · answer #10 · answered by meg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋