i need advise from a married woman?

Question

I LOVE MY HUSBAND TO DEATH i know he is my soulmate, we've been together thru so many things we got together at a young @ 14 years of age,we now have 8 years together and 2 beautiful kids. we ran away from home at 15, our parents didnt want us together, but after all our love has survived.
now am so upset i dont feel that he takes care (financialy) of this family. i had to get a job to help him, i dont mind that. we bought a car, he said everything was going to be ok, its not. our account is more than $200 overdrawn,i picked up more hours at work to have enough, for our sons birthday on the 18th. now is going all to the banks fee's. hes a really hard worker, get lots of compliments from his customers of how good of an employee he is.his been waiting for a management position and a rise for weeks now, his boss is always cancelling a important meeting for my husband, and his like ok with that.he doesnt push it to happen. i just wish he would take control of the situation.take care of us

Answer 1

I am a married woman. I've been married 10 yrs and i'm 27. So i've been there. Don't let money problems ruin your marriage. He is working! He does love you! I'll tell you what. I lived for 3 years with my husband and 2 children in the beginning in a 2 bedroom small house, no car, and on 800 bucks a month. I was happier then than I am now with a 3 bdrm house, two new cars, and lots of cash. Money and things don't make you happy. I learned that the hard way. Be glad you've got a man that's actually working because some women don't.

Answer 2

are you convaying how you feel?

He may be like hubby, he withdraws from everything. When he feels stressed from work and family, he goes into a routine robotic state. He won't talk to me and keeps everything inside. And when he has stress at work, he never seems to want to resolve it with the boss. I know I'm more agressive in telling my work what I want and expect; however, he's the opposite and expects that if he's a good worker that there's nothing more to say to the boss. I have had to encourage him to either switch jobs or talk to his boss for his raise or benefits increase.

I understand it's hard, but the way to work through it is to just ask him about his feelings of the entire situation. And see if there is a way that he can help out more financially. Maybe if he is uneasy about pushing the issue of a raise or management with his immediate boss, he can always call the district manager.

The best way to solve everything is by talking it out.

If you have any other questions like this and need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen to you, please email me!

Answer 3

Your so young to be dealing with these problems. Things will get better. Maybe there are things you can do from home to earn money. You can do daycare, so you can spend time with your kids and make money at the same time. Otherwise, I feel your husband needs to step up and ask for a raise! Its hard being married and there will always be problems that you will need to work through, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Don't put too much pressure on your husband, I'm sure he is doing the best he can. You don't want to push him away. Just be supportive.

Answer 4

I've been there. My husband and I have been married for for seven years now and we have five kids. Most of my family still wants nothing to do with me. So, the most important aspect of the situation, no matter how you handle it, is to keep that strength intact. If you fall apart now, it would have all been for naught. There are, after all, more important things in this world than money. I'd trust in him to know his boss, and how to deal with him. My husband tried to "keep the peace" with his former employer. It took him six years of waiting for better, and yes, it felt like an eternity, but he did leave to find better. Now that he sees that he can earn and actually does deserve better, he's the most valued employee at his new job. Let him do it on his own, and you'll both be glad he did. Just grit your teeth and move forward the best you can. Pray about it (together, if he's willing) and put it in God's hands. Let your husband know that this concerns you, but say so without being bitter or unthankful. Make sure he understands that you're not pointing the finger at him. Best of luck. Be blessed.

Answer 5

If you're only $200 overdrawn, then you're very lucky. The biggest mistake you can make is to nag about it. You'll only push him away and make him feel inadequate (believe me, men never get over that) and it's never all just the fault of one spouse. It's done, in the past and at least you had the extra money to cover it. Sounds like he's a good guy and there aren't many out there so be grateful for him. Men are so different in how they deal with day to day issues. We (women) worry about every little thing and get very frustrated with them (men) when they don't. If he quits his job and starts to sit on the couch all day while you work, then get back to us. Your problems are small and it will take both of you to keep them small.

Answer 6

Well, you have a couple pf choices here.
You can wait and do nothing and very soon the bank will close the account forr you...and then everntually they will file a case against you two for the overdrawn funds. The time he will have to take off work to get this settled will probably result in him losing his job.
Or, you can quit your job and tell him that you are fed up trying to keep things going in your family by yourself. Tell him you are not going to get another job and help out until he gets everything in order financially and keeps it there, and possibly even have a small savings account started to cover things IF they go wrong...not "when".
Good Luck!!

Answer 7

Support him.....That means you work too if you have to. Bust your *** if you have to nothing comes easy. you guys got married young, probably didn't know anything about finances and family and now you are in a situation where you wanna point fingers and blame. If you are only 200 in the hole consider yourself blessed....You need to sit down and designate some one to pay the bills and keep a balance on your bank accounts so that your account stays even. You guys are a team. its you, your husband, and children against the world. I don't have to be married to tell you that. And like someone else said there seems to be more to the story.

Answer 8

Talk to him and make him see the real situation. You could forego some frills just to save and address the bank account problem. Marriage is a partnership and you should tackle this problem together not by yourself. It's not like its the end of the world though.. So many other couples have bigger financial problems and still get by. Work out a monthly budget that will ensure payment of arrears etc. and agree on what expenses to cut down.

Answer 9

Geez, that's a rough one. Though I've been in this situation, only my ex had a drug problem, a very bad one. I hope it's not the same thing with you. Don't make him push his boss because you really don't know how his boss will react. Be patient, I know it's hard, but you shouldn't always rely on him to be the bring in a paycheck, I know most women would love to be able to stay home, but we as women should NOT be dependant on a man. Hope it works out for you none the less.

Answer 10

some couples have long term swinging marriages. the assumption seems a no loser. each and all of the intercourse, any erotic dream found out, exciting, devoid of guilt. Golly, why does not all of us get smart, and screw like rabbits? properly that's because of the fact in basic terms "some" paintings. Many greater basically screw themselves up. surely, in basic terms a solid marriage could handle each and all of the greater desirable pressures swinging brings. And, via that's totally nature, a solid marriage, has a solid intercourse life, so it does no longer choose greater desirable human beings. So, swinging often skill the couple is finding for something they think of they are no longer getting at abode. effective thank you to function pressures to a relationship. Fantancies are effective, yet do no longer permit danger loose fantacies get at a loss for words with certainty. you truly shouldn't permit hubby rigidity you into this. end of talk. do no longer debate it, or justify your positition, basically no. ok. Now that it is out of ways, think of slightly. Married 8 years, and he's performing slightly squirrilly. forty isn't so far away now. he's no longer making $500,000 a year. he's have been given a automobile seat in his automobile. His waist is 4" larger than at 21. The youthful adult men at paintings discern he's between the previous adult men. So, supply him greater desirable women human beings. go away him a notice, to fulfill you at some club. whilst he ensue, he gets fortunate with a warm wide who selections him up. expenses you a wig, and a slutty outfit, and could be exciting. Orrrr something you think of he could get exhilaration from- and doubtless a number of your very own. With mind's eye, he would be seventy earlier he gets bored. stupid? possibly, yet, in case you're no longer TOO harm and offended, i will guess it would paintings.