I have a friend, an adult, with Asperger's Syndrome.
He's occasionally upset, very upset, very hair-trigger upset, and can have a bit of a tantrum about it; nothing too bizarre -- just enough for others to think he's a complete ****, or on drugs, mean, rude, or, well, nothing very good. The things that cause the upsets are not things that would upset normal people nearly so much; it looks ridiculous -- and rude -- to others.
He's quite successful career-wise, well-educated, and polite and kind to an extreme when being 'normal,' so the off-kilter stuff comes as all the more of a shock to others.
I may be too tolerant -- this has sometimes involved me being mildly yelled at on the street, etc -- but this is somebody I care about, and -- well, anyway.
How do I best do damage control? Apologies are required, but is there anything I can say by way of explanation -- something to indicate that I know it isn't normal, but that in this case, it's nothing to worry about?
2006-10-13 13:52:13 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Why are apologies required? Does he get physically violent? When all you need to do is explain and educate. Too many times we (professionals in the mental health field) walk on eggshells so that the rest of society will not be disturbed by individuals with non-physically harmful psychological issues.
I am fed up with the "not in my backyard" attitude from people who feel bothered.
2006-10-13 13:59:02 · answer #1 · answered by Brutal honesty is best 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the apologies are to those who don't know him and he will probably never see again, all you have to say is, "I'm sorry about that. He has Asperger's and cannot always control it." Asperger's is being researched enough now that most people have a basic understanding of what can happen.
If he does it to people who do see him on a semi-regular basis, you may have to handle it a little differently. The same basic information needs to be gotten across, but it should be done in a more delicate way. Make sure that those people know that Aspergers is not a "stupid disorder," (I'm sure you know what I mean) and he is still fully capable of being a productive member of society.
You do need to be understanding of this, but you do not need to be 100% tolerant. Although he would not completely understand WHY his behavior is inappropriate, he does need to be told--nicely, of course, and carefully since you are not a relative--that it IS inappropriate.
2006-10-13 21:02:25 · answer #2 · answered by Esma 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Asperger Syndrome is a type of Autism except that there is normal to above normal intelligence levels. The downside of Asperger lies in the ab-normalcy in social behavior.
I would suggest that you go to Wikipedia.org and search Asperger Syndrome, copy and paste the description to Word, make several copies as needed to give to the offended parties with a small apology for the unfortunate and unavoidable mishap. Sometimes it takes educating people to get them to forgive someone. I'm sure they will understand. There are very few people that have ever heard of Aspergers.
2006-10-13 21:16:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there done that. My husband and daughter have Asperger's. Again, both highly intelligent.
If it's someone I care about, then I explain it's the Aspergers and that the person just misunderstood the social cues/rules. Part of the disorder. No big deal.
If it isn't someone I care about, then who cares. I just let them think whatever they want. Life is too precious and I care much more about my Aspies than I do the others in this world. I work with them, give them the words to say when things go wrong. As for everyone else -- forget about them.
2006-10-13 20:57:14 · answer #4 · answered by nobadkids 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Asperger's Syndrome is characterized by the inability to read/interact in social situations in a proper or "normal" manner. I don't think you to "damage control", but explaining in a polite way his disease should be appropriate. Most people should be understanding to this type of illness.
2006-10-13 21:07:38 · answer #5 · answered by Equichick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you would feel more comfortable with a brief explanation, just tell people, "My friend has a medical condition. There is nothing to be concerned about."
2006-10-13 20:55:20 · answer #6 · answered by beez 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think YOU need to apologize, however if you feel the desire to do so, it is simply enough to say, "I'm sorry, but this is something beyond his control". What does your friend say about you apologizing for him?
2006-10-13 20:56:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
How about putting the explanation on cards you could discretely pass out?
2006-10-13 21:03:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋