Okay Ill start with the basics...and try to follow cause it could be confusing... My babies dad doesnt see my daughter he hasnt seen her since a year and 4 months ago..he pays childsupport because they court ordered him too...and he has two other baby mommas'(Mine was the first...) He's only 20 years old..My husband wants to adopt my daughter. My daughter loves my husband to death...and im not saying that if he did adopt her i wouldnt tell her about her real dad one day...i just think it's good for her to have that father figure there for her whenever she does need it...I've seen my babies dad proably 3 times since the last time hes seen my daughter he's never once ...not even once asked about my daughter...hes asked tohang out with me and everything else but never asked about her...My question is should i call and ask him if hell sign the papers to let him adopt her or just send the papers??? thanks for the answers im really stumped on this one!!!
2006-10-13 13:23:58 · 17 answers · asked by cutenwild1769 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
hes not interested in my daughter at all he has not intentions of being interested in her...hes told me more then once that when he looks at her he feels nothing for her...i dont feel sorry for him one bit
2006-10-13 13:29:56 · update #1
I dont think he's too concerned with what his responsibilities are...lol he has 3 children by 3 different girls...We dont hang out i would never hang out with him anyways....and i dont think she'd resent the fact...that i chose to let my husband adopt her..he loves her sooo much...they play together all the time and shes always telling him she loves him...
2006-10-13 13:33:24 · update #2
When he told me...that when he looked at her he didnt feel anything..that was the last time...i ever brought her over there..because at that moment she was sleeping in the back seat of the car and she looks absolutely perfect...so quiet so innocent...she doesnt deserve not to have a man that truely loves her and to be part of her life........
2006-10-13 13:38:11 · update #3
We havent hung out since the lastr time he's seen her...lol sorry i guess the way i wrote it ..it sounded like it but he's offered us to hang out i would never ever do that...my husband would be sooo mad!!!
2006-10-14 03:22:09 · update #4
Tell him you want him to sign the papers. I think it's great that your hubby wants to adopt her! Tell him I said he rocks!
2006-10-13 13:34:26 · answer #1 · answered by kimberleibenton 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you've skipped over some important issues. Once you've decided it would be best for your daughter to be adopted by your husband, you should talk to her biological father about it. Ask him what his intentions are. He's only 20 years old and may be confused about his responsibility or about the role he wants to play in her life. If you just throw the papers at him, it may alienate him. Talk to him about what's best for her and see what he thinks.
Before getting there, you need to decide whether it's the right thing to do at all. Is your husband a good father to her? Are you certain that you will stay with him until your daughter is an adult? This is not a simple issue and not something you should go into lightly.
2006-10-13 20:25:32 · answer #2 · answered by gadalian 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Knowing men, I am fairly sure that if you just send the papers will he get angry about it and not sign them.
I think you would have to nuzzle up to this issue with him by being nice. Start gradually. Talk about how much your husband loves the girl. How if he adopted her it would be that much less of a burden on the birth father. How you would always make sure your daughter knew about her birth father. Make it sound as appealing as possible because this issue is likely to hurt the man's pride and that would make him unwilling to sign. Find ways to make it sound attractive to him. Men are touchy and hard-headed and you would have to appeal to his pride to get him to do it. Good luck!
2006-10-14 01:47:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As your daughter's father, out of respect I would tell him that you are sending the papers. Don't ask him if he'll sign them. Just let him know he will be receiving them, and that he should contact his own attorney if he has any questions about the papers. Legally terminating parental rights is a very serious matter, and he should understand that he has to take it seriously.
2006-10-13 20:34:18 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. Strain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call him and have your husband go with you to meet with your daughters father. The guy sounds like a loser and may just "forget" to sign the papers. I think it's great that your husband wants to adopt your daughter.
2006-10-13 20:27:10 · answer #5 · answered by i have no idea 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Adoption doesn't solve your problem. When your daughter gets older she will resent you for making that desicion. It is better to let her see that forself at a young age then to idealize what her dad might have been like and then find out she was wrong after 20 years.
2006-10-13 20:29:02 · answer #6 · answered by victoriah68 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im going to take a slightly different approch here...I think you should wait and let ur daughter see what kinda father she does have, and let her make up her own mind...She IS getting the father attention she needs...from her FATHER, not the sperm donar..so she is truly,. not being neglected..she has you, and her father..(father being daddy, not sperm donar)..Now as for hanging out..Shoot, if u feel the need to hang out with him, BRING your daughter !!! MAKE him spend time with her ! But, on the flip side, be careful with hanging out..By the sound of it, you have a great husband, girl don't be going and doing anything silly jeapordizing that
2006-10-13 22:31:57 · answer #7 · answered by chantillynlace2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's not making the effort to see his child, by all means move forward with the adoption. I would only call him if you think he will be calm and listen to what you say. If you think he'll be confrontational or argue with you, have your lawyer's office deliver the papers. If he does not respond, you and your husband can petition for sole custody in court.
2006-10-13 20:27:55 · answer #8 · answered by Laura 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow I'm sorry to hear that hes like that with your daughter but I'm glad you have found a great man who loves her like his own.
I think you should call her biological father and ask him if he wants anything to do with his daughter....whatever the answer is tell him you would like your husband to adopt her and if he would be ok with that.
Sorry I don't have more to my answer, but I hope that it helps :) Good luck.
2006-10-13 20:29:56 · answer #9 · answered by Dee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to him first and see if he's okay with it. He might feel forced or disrespected if you just send him the papers. But ultimately, it doesn't really matter how you do it since he's not attempting to be a part of his own child's life...
2006-10-13 20:26:59 · answer #10 · answered by bezsenný 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call and ask then the ship the papers. Give him the respect that is if you two can have a conversation on a adult level. If not then send the papers.
2006-10-13 20:26:59 · answer #11 · answered by tashafleming25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋