case scenario: one of your daughters is Gay and you happen to have a controlling personality. As a political head honcho, you make sure she doesn't join any Gay organizations or clubs or is seen in public at any Gay establishments. You do your best to make sure she doesn't have any Gay friends and associates. What kind of effect would this have on her?
What kind of effect would this have on her mirror twin who is not Gay but supports Gay rights issues?
2006-10-13 13:00:18 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
First, no parent ever does all the right things no matter how much they love their child.
I do not think you should prohibit your daughter from participating in this or any other type of organization. I assume she must be at least a teenager. She should have the freedom to express her own opinions. You are going to cause a lot of resentment--and you are not going to dissuade her from her beliefs. In the end it is only going to cause a lot of hurt and resentment. You don't say how she feels she may be sexually oriented. But, if in fact she is a lesbian--this will cause years of heartache.
If she is gay prohibiting her from having contact with gay friends or associates is not going to change things in the end. If she is a minor you can stop the contact for now. But you are not going to be able to do any thing about the alientation and isolation that is sure to follow.
It will affect her twin in only one way. The fact that you are not letting her express her political or social views will have a negative effect on her. It will not make any difference as far as her sexual orientation goes--no matter what you do or do not do.
On the twin. I am sure you realize the closeness of twins. If you are doing things that are making her sister unhappy this is going to make her unhappy as well. And again, you are breeding resentment.
2006-10-13 17:32:20 · answer #1 · answered by beckychr007 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, everything that you would be asking your Gay child to do is telling your child that you don't accept her. As a political head honcho (as you say) times are changing, and you would be happy to know that people are more accepting then you think. There really isn't anybody out there that doesn't either have a Gay relative or a Gay friend. Ask around in your political circle, pose questions, ask for input on how they stand on certain issues. Are you more worried about what your political friends will think about your Gay daughter or supporting your child's life? Remember loving your child means no conditions, no boundries, no only ifs.
2006-10-13 13:10:12 · answer #2 · answered by redmama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sort of oppression and nonacceptance by the mother will affect the gay girl the rest of her life. The parent is doing this for herself, not for her daughter's benefit. The girl will feel shame, rejection and resentment of authority until she gets away from the mother and talks this out with a professional.
Her twin knows the mother is wrong and tries not to be affected by her ignorance and bigotry. Because she is not gay, she doesn't feel the intolerance like her twin does.
2006-10-13 13:11:07 · answer #3 · answered by beez 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents make mistakes, children do not come with instruction manuals.... Parents do the best they know how and hope their mistakes are minor enough to not leave to lasting an effect....
As to the second part of your question.... If a person is female as in your question she is not gay she is a lesbian... A male homosexual is referred to as gay, a female homosexual is a lesbian....
But putting terminology aside... I believe actions as you describe would cause your daughter great conflict, would place a divide between you and your child... Would cause your child to feel suppressed and depressed and unaccepted... It will cause anger and resentment, it will cause and eventually it will cause a full breakdown of communication between you and your child....
As to the twin many of the same things she will likely side with her twin as her political stance is in support of gay and lesbian rights...
You will likely find your self the outsider, alone with children who resent and do not speak to you, who see your political views as antiquated and bigoted...
Being gay or lesbian is not a choice it's a fact the sooner we as a society accept that the sooner we can understand gay and jesbians are not monsters who are a danger to society, they are people who contribute to society, who are part of society and who want the same financial and legal standing as anyone else in society..
2006-10-13 13:26:00 · answer #4 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this would definately turn the child gay
children always end up the oposite of what their parents tell them
the children of a drunk ,do not drink
if the`parents take druggs the child does not
if you tell them not to smoke they smoke in the toilet
the vicars kids are the worst behaved
etc
all of this has been proven time after time
and if you come on with a lot of anti gay stuff ,they will go for that ,one hundred per cent.
parents rarely do what is right for their kids
but dont worry gay kids are very loving
2006-10-13 13:12:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately she's gay and having them understand that's not right is difficult but it depends on how YOU ARE!!
meaning do you support gays!
just try your best and never second guess yourself
and sometimes parents dont always do the right thing but that only makes us human
2006-10-13 13:05:30 · answer #6 · answered by axlrose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm sorry, but there's nothing you can really do. She'll grow to hate you. The more walls you build around her, the more she'll be likely to escape. It's her mind, and there's nothing you can do to change that. Please, just don't speak to her about it, or her sister. If you catch her making out with another girl on your doorstep, that's gotta be out of the line, but don't keep pestering her. Yes, this is uncomfortable, and very hard to deal with, but let her go. She's all confused and the more protection you put around her, the more confusion she'll get. I'm not saying I believe in Homosexuality. I believe in God, and I am strongly against that, but I'm just saying... Human being to human being.
2006-10-13 13:12:46 · answer #7 · answered by hikaru 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm... thats a weird case scenario...
...but to answer the question... I don't think there is any parent who has ever "always" done the right thing. Parents make mistakes too.
2006-10-13 13:03:45 · answer #8 · answered by Ashley P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am an old granny from the past and I would love my children unconditionally no matter what.........we haven't had this particular issue but many more!!!!! God didn't make junk and that would include everyone......
2006-10-13 13:08:55 · answer #9 · answered by Cassie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oo parents make mistakes...trust me, Im a parent of 3 boys. But, that is not even what concerns me here..What concerns me is..that senerio is to weird to NOT be true...A parent is supposed to love the child UNCONDIONALLY...Allow the child to be what and who they are..Support their descions
2006-10-13 15:55:05 · answer #10 · answered by chantillynlace2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋