We've been together over two years and have tried a lot of different things, but he has had a lot (and I mean a LOT!) of experience with women. I, on the other hand, have had only three other partners. Normally I am a pretty creative person, but I don't know what else to try in order to make things better for him. I'm normally pretty shy, but I've been able to break out of my shell in the bedroom and would like to do something fun and different. I'm not comfortable entering an adult toy store, but I might buy something from a catalog. I really want something that's for HIM, not for me - he has a favorite thing I do (a BJ variation), but I'm hoping to improve upon "freakin' ridiculous"...
2006-10-13 12:53:14 · 23 answers · asked by 40yomama 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
um, im not sure what u can do to change it up, have u tried anal sex?
2006-10-13 12:54:32 · answer #1 · answered by sharp 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Technically speaking, there isn't anything new that hasn't been done before by someone at some time. Any variation of sex you can think of, any combination of partners and so forth has already been done. The question is whether you've tried it with him. Here are a few ideas:
1. Bondage
Depending on how experimental you are, you may have already tried blindfolds, tying each other up and so forth. If you haven't, you might start by taking a couple of his ties and tying him down to the bed (to prevent cutting off circulation, place two fingers between the tie and his wrist. You might also start by blindfolding him and telling that if he peeks or touches you that he gets nothing for the evening. If that seems pedestrian, You might check out some of Jay Wiseman's books for additional ideas.
2. Sex In Public
You don't necessarily need to actually have sex with him or perform a sexual act with him for this to be effective. You can, for example, wear a skirt and flash him when no one else is looking, or sit in an empty row at a movie theater and periodically put his hand between your legs. Something that always works for me is when the girl I'm with undresses in the car, whether we're on the way home or on a long drive to somewhere. It's very annoying to have to focus on driving when fun things are happening less than a foot away - which is probably exactly the reaction you want.
3. Anal Contact
Depending on how he feels about this, you can try one of a few things - you can perform analingus (commonly called a rim job or tossing someone's salad) which is just licking their anus - or, if you're particularly feisty, inside their anus. Remember to make him shower first - you can develop some not-so-fun conditions from this practice. You can also put some lubricant on a finger or two and gently work toward massaging his prostate which should flip his switch quite nicely.
4. Other People
This one is complex and may have a much greater effect on your relationship than you might think. If you involve someone else, it's important to set ground rules first about what is and is not appropriate contact. You also might want to consider agreeing upon a code word if one or both of you starts feeling uncomfortable. If you're bisexual or bi-curious, involving another woman isn't necessarily a bad idea. Involving another man could be more problematic because, while most guys have fantasized about having sex with two women at the same time, I'd wager that fewer fantasize about two men having sex with the same woman.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to keep things fresh in the bedroom - but you might also want to make sure that the relationship is on solid footing before trying anything more exotic.
2006-10-13 13:14:31 · answer #2 · answered by puckett101 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey let your imagination fly.C'mon you're a woman.Be creative.If you run out of ideas try the Kama Sutra book. It's usefull.I talk from experience.Build up your own fantesies.I know you can because it's in your DNA like it's in ours.The only person able to do thomething in this way is you. Don't give up and also don't mind about being "freakin' ridiculous". Just don't give up and inform yourself for improvement.
2006-10-13 12:59:44 · answer #3 · answered by DUKE OF SEGOREAN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm
how shall you love him . . .let me count the ways . . .
jk
start with getting a modern version of the kama sutra . . .
maybe try a little mild bondage .. .
tie him up to the bed and then get creative . . .
or let him tie you up . . . or have a close friend tie you up to the bed right before he's supposed to come home (and work some safety thing out so she can check on you if he doesn't come home)
experimenting with locations is sometimes fun . . .go to some fancy restaurant, then drag him into the women's restroom . .and see if you can not get caught . . .
get a seat in the balcony in the back in an opera . . .the matinees are less crowded . .get all dressed up and then risk it during the performance. . .
have fun . . .
2006-10-13 13:01:42 · answer #4 · answered by a_blue_grey_mist 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what a peanut gallery.
If you can't get your girlfriends to go make a trip with you to the adult toy store, then have fun with the catalog. See if he'll even go through it with you. The best thing I ever bought was a blinfold, a feather, and a mini slapper. Hell, ask him if he'll let you tie him up. Believe me, if he agrees, you'll think of all types of ideas! ;^)
2006-10-13 13:00:09 · answer #5 · answered by Dani 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's this catalog called "jt's stockroom" or something like that. it has a lot of really weird and twisted stuff in it, but it also has more "normal" toys and equipment. it has tons of bondage equipment, everything ranging from the seriously hardcore stuff (masks, body suits, really messed up stuff) to lightweight stuff like furry manacles and blindfolds. get some stuff like that and go to town on him. if he's as experienced as you think he is, he'll either enjoy the weird stuff or be truly blown out of the water. i'm not saying you should necessarily put on a dominatrix suit, suspend him upside down from the ceiling, stick a horsetail dildo in his butt and a ballgag in his mouth, and whip him silly, but maybe you should?!?
by no means am i into this stuff, not at all, but it sure would get his attention...
2006-10-13 13:01:50 · answer #6 · answered by peterbear13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consult the Kama Sutra (not sure of the spelling) and you will find a lifetime of new things to try in the bedroom
2006-10-13 12:56:20 · answer #7 · answered by RiverRat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well... you can always shop at good vibes.com. Its a women owned store that has some great stuff.
I would try to use your head though and not some toy... toys are predictible...
why not suprise him the next time you go to dinner and attack him in the alleyway.
yeah...
give him head in the alleyway of the restaurant.
he won't be expecting that.
2006-10-13 12:56:15 · answer #8 · answered by Use my Yahoo! Avatar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most of us men are total bull $hit when telling our sexual exploits so believe about 25% of what he claims. If he has all this experience he should be teaching you what he enjoys not leaving all the creativity to you. HE'S A FAKE!
2006-10-13 13:41:33 · answer #9 · answered by Wart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, tie his *** up and blind fold him. Then caress him on every inch of his body with your tongue paying special attention to you know where. Then let him play the guessing game. Put parts of your body in his mouth and let him guess what it is. Then when that's all over you saddle up and ride, backwards is hella fun too! Girl he will go crazy! Trust me I know.
2006-10-13 13:11:27 · answer #10 · answered by missmozee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you can ask him what he likes you to do with him. Ask him what his fanasies are. Or just go with your instincts and decide from your own self.
Or try something that is sexual but does not involve sex. Explore your inner feelings with him and him with you.
2006-10-13 12:59:04 · answer #11 · answered by dinehshii 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋