Problems with my Man?

Question

I have been with the same guy now for over a year but we are having some problems right now in our relationship. We got into an argument last night and I expressed to him that I have not been feeling appreciated by him. I mean when it comes to keeping the spice and the spunk going in our relationship I go all out. Surprises, little games, I mean the whole 9. But I have always felt like he doesn't appreciate any of that and doesn't meet me half way with these efforts. He feels that I am being too picky and not taking the relationship slow. He says I am examining him under a microscope and nit picking at every little thing he does. Right now I feel like I need space away from him to consider if this is really what I want and he is agreeing to give me that. I also have a problem with that as well. I thought he could at least put up a fight and do what he can to make it work between us and acknowledging the fact that us spliting up is not the solution. Can someone help me analyze this??

Answer 1

the two of you may just need a break, my guess is you may be a lil tired of one another....nothing to panic over it's just that sometimes when we love someone we need to give them space so we could know what we're missing. it also teaches us how to appreciate that person alot more. i could understand you feeling a lil upset about him not putting up fight when you asked for your space...but you need to realize he's only respecting what you feel is in your best interest right now wich is (space) he cares about you.. but i think he may want a lil space too, if you think that this is the best thing for you two right now...then i would go ahead and do it....because space can do alot of wonders for your relationship....you know the saying you don't miss it til it's gone...it will make you realize the love you have for one another... and in just so lil time you can both strengthen yourselves...by not being in each others company....because you'll realize that you do not want to lose one another... but all i can say is do what you think is best for the both of you. i wish you both the best of luck!!! take care.

Answer 2

Hum. I see your point about him putting up a fight. I know how you feel about that...it's like, if someone can easily let go, you question their true feelings and whether or not they really wanted you to begin with. That would cause problems for me, too, but us ladies are wired a little different. Maybe he's just not the aggressive type of guy - maybe he feels HE needs some space, too.

As for his feelings of being under a microscope, it seems like he's already examined himself in relationship to the spice in the relationship. He might be unhappy with his role, or feel you might be upstaging him in some way, and he's out of ways to express himself. So, if he's thought about it in his head, and now you're bringing it up, it can cause problems because of the negativity associated with his feelings. If it's been a year, though, and he's still even mentioning taking things "slow", he's not ready for the commitment at the same level you are, and it's likely that his attitude toward you won't change.

Answer 3

You said you wanted space and he agreed. Why should you have a problem with that. He is giving what YOU wanted.
If you are unhappy maybe the time away will make you understand that and it could also make you realize you want to be with him Maybe he is not putting up a fight because he agrees and doesn't want to argue more or he could feel the same way. If he wants it to work he will be there. But also if you are having doubts, that could answer your own question.
Take this time and think about things, if you feel you deserve better, than break it off.
Good luck-hope things work out for you, either way.

Answer 4

You need to read a book called "Why men love bitches" it will explain all of that to you and tell you what to do. In the book, the author says not to do all those little things. They make him feel pressured and guys are bored if you dont make them "chase" you. That's why he agreed to let you have your space. That will make him want you more. Also dont act like he's just the greatest thing ever. Treat him like you care about him as a person, but you can live without him. Never tell him, you'll die without him. Guys are totally turned off by girls who act desperate. They like the ones that are harder to get, the ones they have to work for. Then it's like they won a prize or something. Make him work for you, then he'll show you a little appreciation for a change. Don't always have time to talk to him. Live your life for you and dont schedule it around him.

Answer 5

Some guys are just not the "yell out loud and tell everyone how they feel guys" in this particular situation, unfortunetly, he will have to loose you to understand what he is missing. And then again he may not care. That is always a risk in these types of relationships. You try so hard to please them and then they give little or nothing back. It's truly you decision, yes you will miss him but are you living a miserable life? That is the question you can ask yourself. And if it is yes, and he is not willing to listen or change than maybe the grass is greener on the other side

Answer 6

You did a fine job of analyzing this yourself. You want space to consider and you aren't happy as things are, he doesn't want to change and after a year he wants to take it slow. Why should he fight to maintain a relationship you have been putting all the work into running? After a year together, you could tell if you want to marry someone, you can also tell you have had all he had to give and it wasn't much. Move on.

Answer 7

In all honesty guys like to chase their women a bit, if they feel they are being out done or chased by their woman 100% they start to feel like there is nothing left for them to do. It goes back to caveman days, going out chasing a woman, clubbing them over the head and dragging them back to their cave, and if women take that away from them, they get really confused and feel inadequete. You just might be coming on a little too strong.

I went through a similar situation with my ex..it seemed anything i did, make dinner, pay his bills, take him somewhere, it was like he didn't even appreciate anything. There were tons of fights over it, and we ended up calling it quits and it was the best thing i could have done. Since then i have dated tons of guys that appreciated me for all the little things as well as the big. So then i realized i could find someone that appreciates anything i do for them....and to top it off the sex was way better too.

Answer 8

This is what I think.
I think that your boyfriend it's not really looking for a serious relationship yet or not ready for one.I know exactly how you feel but you have to also show him a little bit of less interest on him even if your dying on the inside because guys will take advantage of you and your feelings.Just be strong and go on with your plans show him how much you're worth.If he really loves you he will realize how important you are for him.If you are?And if he doesnt you will find somebody that will appreciate you for who you are.

Answer 9

from what i see you have used the old threatening trick but it backfired. you really did not want to take a break and you thought maybe you did and if you said it that he would than tell you how he really feels about you and try and get you to not call it off for a while. All women seem to use this trick, i know i have in some way. and usually it seems to work. if you dont feel this guy is giving you enough of himself you are going to have to somehow pry his true feelings out, guys always have a problem expressing love the way we want them to. but if you cant than i would really suggest you reevaluate where he wants your relationship to go and if he is really at the smae place you are

Answer 10

you had said that you don't feel as if he meets you half way, now you are upset that he just went ahead and agreed with what it was you wanted. make up your mind girl. i think that you should take that space that you asked for so that not only can you find out if this is what you really want but so can he.