A woman in my office has stepped up her flirting.?

Question

we have worked together for a few years.
The flirting started off mild and inocent but has progressed to her touching my @ss when I pass to standing close and with the back of her hand brushes my crotch.
I'm not interested or attracted to her, and I know I should have taken care of this long ago, but one day It changed so fast and out of my controle, I now feel a little trapped.
How should I tell her to back off with out causing a ruckus or rift in the office place.

Answer 1

Well whatever you will say to her, I am sure she will feel hurt/rejected. However you do feel uncomfortable and this should stop for your own working comfort level. I guess if it were me, I would ask her to come and sit with me outside of the office, like a break table or at a picnic table outside or even on the curb if your office has none of the above. Tell her that you have a policy to not date people with whom you work with. I think that would the best approach. That way she wont feel too badly rejected as opposed to.. I am not attracted to you approach. If she cannot handle either response by you, then she has a bad problem. Good luck to you!! But you do have the right to be comfortable in your work enviroment.

Answer 2

Have you responded positively in any way to this woman? If so (even so much as laughing at a joke or an innocent smile) she may think she can get you and that is why she is giving such obvious clues. If you have always stayed neutral, then it might have to do more with power and harrassment than interest. Either way, since you want it to stop, it should stop.

Begin by avoiding her and try not to be alone with her. If she makes a move, avoid it or say something like, "Oh I'm sorry, I know I hate it when people touch me (or bump me, or knock me, whatever). Look her firmly in the eyes to show her this is not a game to you and you mean it. Hopefully she will take the hint. You can also ask someone to maybe say something to her, like "I noticed you doing so and so, and I know that he does not appreciate that."

I know you may not want to imvolve the boss in this, but be aware that if she does feel rejected, she could try to turn this on you and accuse you of harrassment, like saying YOU rubbed up against her, etc. If you take it to the boss first, it doesn't seem like you made it up to counter her accusations. Something to think about. I would also start documenting each incident and how you reacted to it--time, date, place, her action, your action, any witnesses.

Answer 3

Wow! I feel your pain. You have to be direct. Sexual Harassment should never be tolerated. You could send her an email, or confront her outside of work (at the end of the day). If she doesn't stop, you need to go to your supervisor. People usually think of this as a man harassing a woman...but you have every right to work in peace. You aren't a piece of meat..and her touching you inappropriately should be documented if she continues to do so.

Answer 4

kiss a guy in front of her
then say oops..you found out my secrete..and he doe snot like you messing with me.....

just ask her if you two can sit down and talk..then calmly and nicely..but concise and firmly..tell her it needs to stop NOW!
and if she gets out of hand..then you just may have to make the sexual harassment charge on her..because she could put it on you and your mouth will fall to the ground..but they may believe her..
do you have any witnesses? have you made any documentations?
she could run and say it has been all you and not her
or go out with her and show her how messed up you are as a boyfriend..drunk all the time when not in work.yells a lot...makes her pay for stuff. makes her do all your dirty laundry..
sleeps late when you stay over her house ( all the time right from the start)....and she will ask you to leave her alone
write it all down on paper and tell a friend or two before it goes to the boss.
good luck

Answer 5

To tell you the truth, I would go to HR and bypass talking to her about because she sounds like a nutcase. What kind of woman would let her hand brush your crotch?? A crazy one, that's what.

I had a guy harass me at work once...make comments about my boobs, ask me how my sex life was with my husband, if I used vibrators, what kind of underwear I liked, etc. He also would make crude comments and whistle as I walked by his office. He never grabbed me, but if he had I would have freaked. I tried talking to him about it. That didn't work. I went to HR and he never bothered me again. No one in the office really knew what happened except for his boss who was a perfect gentleman. The jerk was transferred to another department shortly after that.

Answer 6

no one has a right to touch another person..i don't care if they are male or female..you have to tell her that this makes you feel uncomfrontable, and that you would prefer if she didn't touch you anymore..take a stand and be a man..i'm sorry but if she doesn't stop, this will be all over in the work place anyways..so do it now..she has no right to make you feel like that..and i'm glad that a man can have the same feeling as women do when it come to sexual abuse..it doesn't feel good and makes you feel belittled..blessings

Answer 7

Tell her you don't feel comfortable being harrassed during office hours. If you don't interact with her outside the office... then you don't have to worry about being harrassed outside from work. Also, you could tell her you could both get in trouble for behaving in that way in the office (which is probably true).

Answer 8

Woman like that really drive me nutts...First of all they don't know how to take a hint and that won't stop if you are direct...Tell her you have a girlfriend and she wouldn't be happy knowing what your doing and to please stop...This way you are off the hook.Plus she now thinks your not available.Good luck...

Answer 9

Ignore her and don't give any positive (like smiling and such) responses she will lose interest in the game.

Answer 10

Talk about your wife of GF when ever you are around here. She will get the point.