My fiancee and I have every household item imaginable between us. We've just put a deposit on a place and would love to have help with the downpayment so we thought it would be more appropriate for us to ask for money instead of gifts since we don't need anything material. What is is the most tactful way to word it or spread the word?
2006-10-13 11:04:50 · 31 answers · asked by Erin S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You don't.
2006-10-13 11:13:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know whether there is a tactful way to ask for gifts of any kind, material or monetary. First of all, the whole idea of having a wedding is to celebrate with your family and friends. I believe the choice of gift should be very much up to them. Many people put themselves on a gift registry and if they ask, you can say you are registered at such and such a store. Since you have put a deposit on a house, why not register yourself for the kinds of things you will need for a new home that you havent already bought?
2006-10-13 11:11:47 · answer #2 · answered by Jo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YOU DON"T unless you want to seem incredibly tacky and rude, you are asking these people to come to your wedding to celebrate a special time in your lives. You might as well be sending out invoices instead of invitations. If you have everything you possibly need then maybe you could ask for the monetary gifts to be donated to a favorite charity of your and your husband choosing.
If you are still hard up for people to pay a cover charge for your wedding then maybe you should not register anywhere and then most people will get the hint.
2006-10-13 13:16:13 · answer #3 · answered by NolaDawn 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you cant, in indian cultures monetary gifts are customary - but unless your indian, I wouldnt expect poeple to be very understanding, Id be pretty anoyed if even my best friend asked for money for a wedding gift as she had everything she needed - and we've been friends for decades. Personally I think its very rude, if you feel that way about the money - have a private wedding ona a beach just the 2 of you - you cant have your cake and eat it - why should the guests have to pay to eat your wedding cake? let them bring what they want, traditionally poeple got married - then lived tiogether which is why people bring gifts - is it right that poeple should pay becasue peopel have become non traditional? I understand where your coming from, but still I dont agree
2006-10-14 14:04:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
those perspectives come from ETIQUETTE. you understand, "the varieties, manners, and so on conventionally conventional or required in society." perfect etiquette dictates that presents of any type are to no longer be reported everywhere in or on an invitation. era. Weddings are approximately 2 human beings beginning up their lives mutually, no longer approximately how lots stuff the couple can squeeze out of their visitors. What a pair needs as presents must be unfold via word of mouth, no longer interior the invitation. on the same time as presents are popular at weddings, birthdays, and different activities, they are on no account crucial. presents are given because of fact the guy needs to furnish them, no longer because of fact they must provide them. in the event that they must provide a present day, then it is not a present day. specific, that is actual that throughout a few CULTURES giving money is custom, yet no longer in all. lower back, in simple terms because of fact that is custom to furnish money, it is going to on no account be predicted. Why do no longer you attempt analyzing some books on etiquette till now you commence claiming what's perfect or no longer?
2016-10-19 08:38:10 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there! I'm a bridal consutant and there's no proper way to tell guest to give money. In fact, there's no way to even mention gifts of any kind tactfully. An invitation to wedding does not require a gift. However, it would not be inappropriate to ask friends and family members to tell people IF THEY ASK that you would prefer money. Congratulations! If I can help, just let me know!
www.anaffairtorememberweddings.com
2006-10-13 15:05:15 · answer #6 · answered by Angie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK, let me understand this.......
You have the man of your dreams,
You both have every other thing you could want,
You both obviously can afford the wedding, because you don't need any help paying for that,
And your trying to figure out how to tactfully ask each of your family members to pay for the house?
That's too hilarious! and very rude BTW.
just let your guests come and enjoy what is suppose to be a very happy time in your life, and forget about what seems to be the most important thing on your mind
2006-10-13 18:33:47 · answer #7 · answered by somenameijustthoughtof 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyday someone asks this very question and everyday the answer is the same. You can not ask for any gifts, let alone money. It's tacky to include registry information with an invitation, so obviously you can't ask people for money, that would be beyond tacky.
2006-10-13 16:37:00 · answer #8 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Asking for ANY gift is rude. Asking for money gifts is EXTREMELY rude. Please, do not do this.
There is NO tactful or polite way to ask for money gifts.
A large percentage of your guest list will be giving you money gifts in any case, WITHOUT you having to lower yourself to make this crass gift guideline. Simply accept whatever money gifts, or other types of gifts, you are given, and be grateful for them all.
Just sit back and accept what people feel like giving you as a gifts. Have no expectations. And send a thank you note ASAP, upon receiving ANY gift.
People remember rude wedding couples for generations. Don't do that to yourself.
2006-10-13 12:18:50 · answer #9 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When you send wedding invitations, state "the couple requests monetary gifts in lue of presents". That would be the most tactful way of doing this. Don't be surprised, though, if you step on a few toes. Some people might see this as rude. Others that know you well might find this an easier gift.
2006-10-13 11:09:32 · answer #10 · answered by cowboys21angel 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Don't register anywhere. Alot of folks will be contacting you or your family/wedding party to ask if you are registered, it's then when they can say politely "they really don't need anything for their home, but they didn't just purchase it so I am sure they would love a monetary gift".
I don't know anyone who gives a gift at a wedding anymore. I always give money.
In lieu of a Bridal Shower, since I think it would be bad form to have one since you aren't registering (and asking for people to bring a check to the shower AND wedding is a bit much)...maybe your bridal party could throw a "Lingerie' Party" (I know that is spelled wrong).
I went to one for a cousin and it was fantastic. Lots of fun "naughty" little gifts and outfits and cocktails.
2006-10-13 11:35:26 · answer #11 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋