i have a friend who self harms.......?

Question

one of my friends self harms why do people do this and i thought it was something only teenagers did but they grow out of shes in her late twentys

Answer 1

Just be there for her and whatever you do, if she confesses to you that she's slipped up and cut herself again PLEASE don't tell her she shouldn't have done it or that she's "bad", because that's not what she needs to hear. She needs your support and friendship, the fact that she has told you shows that she trusts you. Recommend she sees her GP and asks to be referred to a counsellor or pyschiatrist. Tell her you'll go along to support her. Be ready with medi-wipes and plasters should she slip up, if she is cutting, make sure she is doing it "safely" (ie no dirty/rusty blades, cleaning the wound correctly). She has taken the first step by opening up to you. But she will need you to help her get through this.

Answer 2

Self harming can become a coping mechanism that sadly some people do not 'grow out of'...I used to self harm as a teenager. Sometimes, the frustration and anger of life as a teenager just got to much and i felt like I would explode, the cutting was a kind of release, the pain I felt emotionally somehow felt better when I physically cut myself. Now I am a bit of a sad oldie...I just explode instead!! Does your friend have any support with her self harming? It wasn't readily available when I was young but there are counsellors and groups who could support your friend..xx

Answer 3

Anybody can self harm at any age. Self harming is a very secretive and destructive form of behaviour and, the sufferer is usually suffering from some form of depression or mental disorder such as, borderline personality disorder. This disorder usually develops because of early chilhood trauma. For example, sexual abuse, physical abuse or emotional abuse either by a parent or parents, a relative or a stranger. People self harm as a form of release. The emotional pain that they feel is often to overwhealming to verbalise, and self harming is a way of getting the feelings out. Often these people have very low self esteem and they lack confidence in themselves and their abilities. They are also generally very angry with their lives and what has happenend to them, so through self harming they are able to direct this anger. Unfortunately it is directed towards themselves instead of the people that really deserve it. Self harming is a really difficult behaviour to break because it is a cycle of different behaviours which finally result in the act of harming. Also when a person harms themselves they do not feel any physical pain, and at the same time the body produces endorphins ( happy homones ) which gives the person a sense of relief and a high feeling although this is only short lived. If you want to help your friend I suggest that you get in touch with the self harming association. They can be found on the net. Talk to your friend and see if there is anything that you can do to support her. I think though that she needs professional intervention as this disorder is very complex and can be emotionally draining for those trying to support them. This disorder is not done for attention, which is a misconception in today's society, it is however a very serious condition that can be fatal if not treated, and, can also lead to a lifetime of scarring. I wish you luck.

Answer 4

I also has a friend does it and she is 30, she has amitted she does it as she is attention seeking, she has even booked herself into the local psy unit.

Most people do it to be able to release how they are feeling. There are some very good sites about cutting. Put self harm into yahoo search and you will find some answers.

I have beeen told by a GP that I self harm but I do not consider that over plucking and picking at spots until they become holes are self harming! Too many people in the medical profession like to give things labels.

Answer 5

Could be that she has a low self asteem ?, be there for her, and seek help for your friend too.

I done that 20 years ago, and it was because i had a low opinion of myself, and i was kinda punishing myself for being what i was, it faded though as i got a good job and a lot of great friends too, and once my life was full and interesting i never reverted back to harming myself.

Answer 6

when someone is hurting so much inside and the only way for them to express their self is self harm, its because when they feel the pain it gives them a feeling of relief and it makes some of the pain inside go away, suggest to her to hold ice-cubes in her hand instead because it will give her the same feeling but without harming her. i send my love and hope she gets through this.

Answer 7

relies upon. Your buddy "Claire" might want to be doing it to get interest, it is an argument in itself. concerns on the position she cuts, or perhaps if she informed you or you in basic terms said. it is often the case that someone who cuts or self harms turns into worse off once moms and dads comprehend as they are frequently despatched to therapists. the answer you're searching for isn't happening line with a group of strangers. communicate over consisting of your buddy.

Answer 8

for most people, self harming is just a phase. as a person gets older, they learn to deal with stress in more productive ways. you should try to introduce other ways for her to not do it. suggest joining a gym or a book club. something productive could help her deal with the issues shes dealing with. but try to not blow it out of proportion or she will think of it as an attack on her. always remind her youre there for her without suffocating her

Answer 9

self harming can appear at any age, but it is almost certainly down to a very depressed self loathing. this can be because of early trauma and i would urge you to talk to your friend and try to guide her towards some help...........she trusts you enough to let you know she is self harming and so she may well trust you to help her resolve it too............this is a big ask of a friend but if i could help her i would and so please try to guide her towards her G.P or other ethical medical help available before she goes too far, all the best hope this helps

Answer 10

self harming is a cry for help, your friend should see a doctor and get help, is she depressed? self harming is done at any age, like anorexia, only she can help herself as she probably feels low at the moment and self harming is one thing in her life she can control. have you spoken to her about it? try to get her to see a doctor or counceller as they will give her the help and support she needs